Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad that I don’t really have any friends?

214 replies

mommathatwearspink · 25/05/2019 20:19

I’m not sure why this evening in particular but I just feel so sad Sad
I don’t have any friends really... I have people that I am friendly with, people at work etc but no one that really asks me to go out or to be their bridesmaid, etc. Most of my friends went off to university when me and DP met and we lost contact. Any friends that I have met through DP have either split up with two their DP so we don’t socialise together anymore or just don’t make any effort with me.
I am a nice person, I am kind and friendly to everyone I meet so why do I not have any friends?? I’m only in my late 20s and whilst most girls are going out for a drink with their friends, or going in on hen parties, etc I’m sat here wondering what went wrong?!

OP posts:
bethankfulforwhatyouhave · 26/05/2019 19:34

I am also in the same boat, child, and work, have both taken over, left me with no identity and no friends, although I never really had any at school. I have always been the odd one and the misfit, that people haven't wanted to socialise with unless they are getting something out of it. Now that me and my ex have split, I am really missing interactions with people that aren't 6 years old.

100percentplease · 26/05/2019 20:28

I’ve realised though that I am happy alone ... in my own company it’s when I’m on social media or on here and see other people’s references to friends and groups that I feel lonely.

ImsorryFofty · 26/05/2019 20:33

@Londonmummy66 helllooo fellow Londoner Smile

Ragwort · 26/05/2019 20:50

I know this sounds harsh but there is sometimes an air of desperation about people who are wanting to make friends. When I moved to my current town (knew no one) I joined a keep fit class, met a perfectly nice lady there also new to the area, we had coffee together a couple of times but she seemed desperate to latch onto me all the time. I was making the effort to meet other people, including a volunteering opportunity, after one coffee together I explained I was meeting the organiser for the volunteering & she insisted on coming too but made no effort to interact or offer to get involved. It was all a bit odd and very off-putting, as if she wasn’t prepared to put any real effort into getting involved in the community. Confused.

People are always putting up barriers to opportunities ie ‘I can’t volunteer because I have a baby’. When I first had my child I actively sought out opportunities that I could take him along to, we did meals on wheels, driving elderly people, getting on the committee off the toddler group, delivering Parish Magazines etc. Of course you are not going to meet a ‘best friend’ overnight, but you are out and about and widening your circle of acquaintances, some of whom may become good friends.

Zoflorabore · 26/05/2019 22:06

Hi again everyone, thanks op for this thread, we've already got a few local Liverpool ladies on a meet up page and that's all because of you!

Myself and one of the others on this thread are literally 3 miles apart and have been chatting all evening on FB.

Please keep posting as all it takes is for someone else local to come on and make a connection. Here's to lots of lovely new friendships Flowers

floraloctopus · 27/05/2019 07:15

I want a purple wheelie bin. stamps foot and misses point of the thread

Onescaredmuma · 27/05/2019 07:24

There is hope I moved across the country in my early 20s by my mid 20s I was exactly as you describe by my late 20s I had a lovely group of friends. By my early 30s I have a few groups of lovely friends and am so happy with my life. Unfortunately I'm moving back closer to home all my friends from the area are no longer living there and I'm still going to be 45 minutes from family so not pop over for coffee close. I'm dreading it I so don't want to start trying to make friends again I want to stay here with the amazing friends I've made!!!

BessMarvin · 27/05/2019 07:57

Just found this thread and also feel like this.

It's not always just about making an effort to meet people though. When I was pregnant a few years ago I thought it'd be all fine, meet loads of people through groups etc. But everything I did, like nct groups, people are quite happy to include me in group meet ups, but if I go along it's obvious they are all friends and meeting up etc outside the group while I'm just there cos I happen to be part of the original line up.

And that is just the story of everything, people don't dislike me generally, they just don't particularly want to become friends with me.

Snog · 27/05/2019 08:14

I don't struggle with making new friends. One method I use a lot is to go to a class or meet up and then ask someone to go for coffee afterwards. I also view most strangers as potential friends eg people who work in shops etc. I am genuinely interested in other people and ask a lot of questions.

Anyone you see regularly you are effectively building a relationship with and could be a friend.

My cousin has a success food blog and is always meeting up with online blogging mates whenever she goes to a different place. I love the sound of that!

Snog · 27/05/2019 08:20

@Polarbearflavour I've been invited to loads of hen parties where I either don't know the bride but know another person going or am a vague Work acquaintance - so the big hen parties often aren't all great friends!!!

Pgqio · 27/05/2019 18:23

Not sure if it's been mentioned but people with headphones in and constantly on their phones makes striking up a conversation with a new person very difficult.
I made one of my closest friends on the bus to work but that was 20 years ago before everyone was plugged in.

MumGoneCrazy · 28/05/2019 07:13

@Scoobygang7 I'm in South Wales

Ragwort · 28/05/2019 07:42

Pgqio that is a really good point, when I moved to my new home I walked the exact same route as another mum to the same school with our DC, we lived on the same estate, every morning I would say ‘good morning’ and would happily have initiated a chat but she just walked along with her face glued to her phone (ignoring her children as well), maybe she was happy, maybe she has lots of friends but I thought it was sad.

I walk to work now and notice it is nearly always older people who are happy to acknowledge a ‘good morning’ and friendly chat.

Alwaysgrey · 28/05/2019 19:11

I’m dreading when my kids finish primary school as I know I won’t end up seeing anyone. I also know I probably need to put myself out there more but I feel I have forgotten how. And it makes me incredibly anxious. I have two kids with autism and the last few years have been tough but it’s levelling out a bit now.

If anyone wants to pm me for a chat that would be really nice. I’m North Essex 🙂

New posts on this thread. Refresh page