To feel sad that I don’t really have any friends?

[mommathatwearspink]

I’m not sure why this evening in particular but I just feel so sad
I don’t have any friends really... I have people that I am friendly with, people at work etc but no one that really asks me to go out or to be their bridesmaid, etc. Most of my friends went off to university when me and DP met and we lost contact. Any friends that I have met through DP have either split up with two their DP so we don’t socialise together anymore or just don’t make any effort with me.
I am a nice person, I am kind and friendly to everyone I meet so why do I not have any friends?? I’m only in my late 20s and whilst most girls are going out for a drink with their friends, or going in on hen parties, etc I’m sat here wondering what went wrong?!

The problem for me with 'getting out there' is that I have no family or friends to babysit; its hard enough juggling work around childcare.

Yeah, I'm quite an introvert, my ex DH was an extrovert. I liked my own company quite a lot until I realised that I had no other choice. I have friends at work but I feel embarrassed and ashamed when we are all talking about weekend plans and I realise that I don't have anything to say

OP, all my friends bar one from uni are people I have met through work. Without meaning to sound like a dick, I seem to collect a friend in every job, including one of my oldest friends who I met in my first job after graduating, which we both lasted about five minutes in.

You say you are friendly with work people, but no-one that asks you to go out - could you ask someone to grab a sandwich at lunch, a coffee after work, or whatever, and see what comes of that? I used to be really friendly with a woman in my current job, but we never saw one another outside work, until one day I asked if she fancied lunch on a Saturday when I knew she was dropping her DC at an activity, and had time to kill before collecting them - we now meet regularly outside work.

Sorry if that’s coming across badly, I realise just how hard it is to meet new people, but sometimes reaching out tentatively to an acquaintance can make a big difference. (And don’t think about people’s ages - one of my good friends is in her 60s, another late 20s. I’m mid-40s.) I also know that I have had work friends who haven’t transitioned well when one of us left, and it turned out work really was the only thing we had in common.

I'm the same, I have a big gap between my DC so I did make friends initially when i had my first and they have all gone now for one reason and another which I think is very sad

I lone work, too, which doesn't help.

Totally get you. I feel like this a lot, I've moved a lot in my life, I'm recently separated & have very little family, my parents have never been involved in my life. I'm going on holiday alone next month when my ex takes our little one away with his family, although I can't wait for a relax in the sun I'd much prefer a friend to go with, I'm always alone for bank holidays and holiday seasons, xmas etc, I don't know what to do about it.

@jessicawessica a no friends friends group would be great! I'm trying to make more of an effort with acquaintances and people I used to work or study with but it is emotionally draining at times and sometimes it's nice just to have a natter with someone

I’m the same too. Made a really good friend from my DDs school - our children were friends and we just connected. We became really close, our husbands met socially too, spent time together with our families. It was lovely. Then they moved to the other side of the country, 7 hours away. It broke my heart (dramatic, eh?). We still speak regularly and have visited but it will never be the same and I mourn the loss of our friendship.

I'm in the same boat, trying to pluck up courage to go to 'meet up' events or join Thelma and Louise etc, but would rather not go alone !!! Catch 22 😕

There was a mumsnet Facebook page for meeting friends, I joined got chatting to 2 local ladies then they just stopped talking/disappeared, another failure
I’ve tried making friends at work, offering lifts, asking them out for a drink, didn’t work, another failure
There’s only so many times you can try and fail and after 30 years of trying it’s starting to wear thin
Believe me I’ve tried, I’ve tried hard (maybe it was too hard) so I tried but not as hard and I tried not trying, nothing works

Interesting thread. I have some good old friends it really struggle to make any new friendships. Would love to make some local good friends

Or rather not the loss of our friendship (we’ll always be friends) but what it was..

Same boat. Maybe we should have a thread where we post a bit about ourselves and see if we can get some friendship matches on here?

@RuffleCrow great post!

I've joined some meetup groups.
Went out for lunch a couple of times, came home, went back to normal.
To be honest though, I'm not really up for 'girly' shopping trips and club nights.
I just yearn for someone to have a cuppa and a chat with - put the world to rights type of thing.

Me too OP.

If I didn't have my boyfriend, I'd have no one at all. I often take long breaks from social media because seeing groups of friends posting about all the fun things they do together makes me feel so lonely.

I've tried making new friends, but nothing has led anywhere. It's knocked my confidence a lot, to the point I just feel like I'm destined to never have friends

I’m the same. I’ve started slowly to gather less than a handful of friends. It’s taken me a very long time to figure out how to make them. I’m late 40’s so it is possible. I’m disabled and don’t get out much. These are parents of dds friends and from dds hobbies btw.

As a child of about 3 I remember feeling very stupid because I didn’t know how to join in and socialise at playgroup. I know I had friends, who liked me growing. But I never really knew how to handle difficult situations such as when my friend decided she preferred another girl at school. Then when my father died they all turned away from me being children they didn’t know how to handle it I suppose.

Be kind to yourself.

I am in this boat too! I have one old school friend who I see once every few months, but no one else. I am a bit shy and awkward, but I have tried really hard to find friends, especially when the dc were smaller, but never really succeeded. It does really knock your confidence to try again!

I’m the same. Never went to university or had children, that seems to be how many people make lifelong friends.

I don’t have many friends either.
I had one really good friend and then we had a major falling out over something I can’t forgive her for so that ended.
I have another friend but she is a single parent working full time and it’s hard to find time to meet up. So it’s occasional chats and text messages only.

Dont have any real friends either everytime i try to befriend someone it either doesn't last or fizzles out. I also have trust issues. Im an intorverted loner at heart really. Sometimes i wish i had mates then other times im happy i dont have the drama! Ive got my 3 month old daughter to worry about so dont have time for a social life atm.

Me too! I'm friendly with ALOT of people but I have no true friends. No one I can talk to or ask to go out somewhere with. I'm not a loner either but I have no friends.

And I'm a really nice, warm and friendly person if I do say so myself! I

I hear you op and other posters.
I had loads of friends at school and through uni but life took us all in different directions. I keep in touch with my oldest friend but only via WhatsApp, she messaged me last week to say she was off to NY with the girls and I felt really hurt.

I have social anxiety, I'm always worrying about making small talk so find it easier to avoid social situations unless absolutely unavoidable.
I'm a nice person, just quiet!
Its only really my DH and family that I speak to nowadays, as I no longer work.

Anyone in NW who wants to start a mn friendship group count me in!

I am in the same boat. I am 32, 2 children and one of my best friends lives on the other side of the world. My other one lives 3 hours away, other than that I have work friends but never socialise with them because I don’t necessarily want to go out and get drunk which is the default outing, plus we all have children of different ages so it’s not even an option to do something with the kids.
It’s hard when you realise things like there’s nobody to call if you’re at a loose end and fancy a day at the shops or someone to have a coffee with.
I’ve tried really hard to make some friends with my oldest son’s friends’ parents, but I’m so much younger than them we haven’t really clicked.
I know I should probably find a hobby, but it’s so hard when working full time and parenting.
I’m sorry I have no constructive advice, but just know you’re not alone.