To be narked that every weekend is taken up WITHOUT me

[treehousemaster]

Simply that ... every weekend over the last couple of months my boyfriend of one year is busy . Occasions such as a wedding( that I was invited to but not brought) to family big birthday parties to friends events and sports .there is no reason for me not to go to any of these but I simply haven't been invited or even seen him before or after . So for example, the sports event may be on Saturday afternoon so he says he isn't free on the friday night having seen him only once during the week ... or later Saturday evening as he is tired and so I may see him for the afternoon on Sunday. AIBU or am I being demanding

I remember years ago having a boyfriend who said to me he wanted to keep me and his friends ‘separate.’ It made me feel like I didn’t fully exist in his world. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship like that again.

He doesn’t sound that interested. Are you?

Oh, and I read your title as ‘To be naked that every weekend is taken up WITHOUT me?’

It doesn't bode well for the long term that you aren't being included in his life

Hahaha!!! Yes somebody once used the term compartmentalised . That's how it feels. I'm kept seperate to his life. Our relationship is very much us on our own when we meet .no reason why o could t go to his sports. His friends partners go to their celebrations , ive been to some family stuff . Starting to think he rolls
Me out for the big occasions. I'm
sick of it . Doesn't feel like a real relationship. Just fed up . And then just when o feel like giving up on him, he completely charms me . He is away this weekend with family and has turned his phone off!

Doesn't look good does it? I would bow out if I were you. It's not nice to not feel wanted.

It doesn't feel like a real relationship because it isn't. Not even close. It's time to move on and quickly.

If you lived together and spent loads of time together during the week, it would be understandable if he wanted to spend time at the weekend doing his own thing. Not bringing you to weddings he has a plus one for, would still be off though.

If you're only seeing each other once a week, and he can't make any more time for you than that, the relationship sounds really casual. Did you spend more time together when you first started going out, or has it always been like this? Does he expect sex every time he sees you, or can you just hang out and enjoy each others company?
Have you met any of family or friends yet? How did you get on?

Just dump and move on.

I had a bf like this once. I wasted a whole lot of time and energy on him, but looking back I should have just finished it. If he was that into you he wouldn't do this. You deserve better than this, dump him and move on.

He doesn't see you as his girlfriend. As PP said, it's definitely more casual.
If you're happy with this, great! But as you are not, move on. Find someone who wants to see you every weekend and devotes time to you.

Started a lot More casual than this believe it or not! Went from once every two or three weeks to once or twice a week. Had a night away on a hotel once , no holidays but says we'll go away this summer . Relationship isn't about sex as in he isnt jumping on me . I initiate normally.met his family. Get on great and met most of his friends now .. one by one... in isolation .

So your just there for when he has nothing better to do.

Sorry, it's a bit shit.

Maybe be a bit pro-active, and instead of waiting g to Friday to decide the weekend’s activities, discuss them before hand. Maybe, on Wednesday, suggest going to the beach/cinema/shopping,
. It gives him the chance to mention the sport/bbq etc and inviteyou along.

I would wonder if he has actually someone else, who he’s taking to all these parties and trips. Or maybe he’s secretly searching or gay etc Even if he doesn’t have someone else you deserve to be treated better than this. You sound more like a fuck buddy than a girl friend.

How long have you been together? I wouldn't bother with this, if he doesn't want you in his life fully, then he's not worth it. Unless you've only just started seeing him, that is - if it's only been a couple of months, then fair enough, but longer than that and I would think you should be included.

Cross post. Scrap the fuck buddy bit. But not the rest.

Dump this Clown, this isn't a relationship OP

I'm sorry OP but I would be very surprised if you are the only woman in his life.
I wouldn't put up with this and I think you need to move on.

He's just not that interested in you, but keeps you on the back burner for when he has nothing better to do.

His brief flashes of charm are just to lure you back when he thinks you might be about to leave him, so he gives you a taste of what he knows you want in order to keep you in line.

He won't change, the relationship won't improve. He will never be what you want.

Dump and move on.

You've posted about the wedding thing before haven't you?

Why are you with him?

No, he doesn't 'roll you out for the big occasions' does he? He facilitates your presence when it suits him.

If you think he's taking you to big occasions - from what you've posted - then your'e deluding yourself. You know that he's not as invested as you are, what will you do with that information?

Spare yourself from wasting any more time on him.

You've been together over a year and you're not going to any of these things with him? :/ When DP and I had only been together for 6 months we went to a wedding together!

It doesn't sound like he's that invested in your relationship. This is a good time to move on imo.

Where's your self esteem, woman?!

You are being treated like some sort of afterthought, waiting for him to throw crumbs your way when he thinks you might actually get fed up with his shoddy behaviour and move on.

Just dump him and move on.

Sorry - just found that you've been together for a year.
FUck that for a game of soldiers then - move on.