To be narked that every weekend is taken up WITHOUT me

[treehousemaster]

Simply that ... every weekend over the last couple of months my boyfriend of one year is busy . Occasions such as a wedding( that I was invited to but not brought) to family big birthday parties to friends events and sports .there is no reason for me not to go to any of these but I simply haven't been invited or even seen him before or after . So for example, the sports event may be on Saturday afternoon so he says he isn't free on the friday night having seen him only once during the week ... or later Saturday evening as he is tired and so I may see him for the afternoon on Sunday. AIBU or am I being demanding

I could have wrote this myself a long time ago. He didn't change, only seen me when it suited himself, went away on holidays and switched phone off etc. He never changed. I would just try and find someone else if I was you rather than waste years like I did.

He’s not interested in you I’m afraid. Keeping you on the back burner so he can amuse himself when he’s bored. Dump him

Are you sure he hasn't got back with an ex or took it further with the best friend and told everyone he's finished with you?
Sounds like you are now a bit on the side incse the other plan falls through.
I'd dump his arse as he's just not that invested in this relationship, like you are.

You aren’t a priority to him. Do you want to continue like this?

He's just not that into you. Move on op

I wouldn't even bother to see him again. Just send a text that you're done and then block.

It all sounds a bit shoddy. you can definitely do better.

Stop wasting your time on this part timer and find someone who wants you to be part of their life. End it now.

A wedding you were invited to but not brought to? Okay time for the heave ho.

Or not even bother to send the text message

I’d be busy
Out with friends etc
Make yourself unavailable and if he chases you then see how that goes
If he doesn’t move on and meet someone who wants to spend time with you

Why are you with someone that doesn’t want to spend time with you? He should want to take you out to parties and family get together, sounds like he hasn’t told anyone he’s even with you? You deserve better, someone that’s proud to take you out, someone that makes time to be with you.

oh dear, he is in love with his best friend and you are his fall back.

Walk away and put yourself first - then you'll meet someone who adores you. This guy does not. Sorry,

He doesn't even take you when you're invited? You know he's treating you low on his list of priorities, dump and move on.

This sounds very much like a "relationship" I had. I was one of two it turned out. It went on for 18 months before I figured it out. A waste of my life.

You know that quote

‘Never make someone a priority, when all you are to them is an option’

That.

We are you letting someone treat you like a placeholder? He’s treating you like something to fill the nights where he’s got absolutely nothing else to do. I wouldn’t have made it past a couple of months like this, but the lack of socialising with his friends in groups etc would be a big red flag to me.

Sounds like his best friend who he probably has hopes of a proper relationship with is probably at most of these events and he doesn't want to spoil his chances! Sorry, but that's how I would read it.

This!!!! Seriously OP - he has a female BF you haven't met after a year and you don't see him at weekends???

OP, you are effectively a hobby that he does when he's a bit bored.

Also, he has feelings for his best friend.

Run like the wind, Bullseye!!

Absolutely nothing going on with his friend . She is in a very long term relationship with kids . I have been at family events and at family home lots of times . I get on well with them and they like me a lot too . I do tend to fit in to his life though which annoys me . When he does go away at weekends and comes back on sundays, I tell him I'm free to drop Int see him despite living 20 minutes away but he says he is too tired and I may not see him again until he is rested , Wednesday or even Thursday. I did wonder if he was ashamed of me with his friends .. not physically but he is a high flying professional and I am a low paid skilled worker from a dysfunctional family, well
Known in our area . The way I sometimes see it , is that he loves the idea of having a girlfriend but doesn't really want to put in the hard work . Plus, he has never had a serious relationship before me . He is 33

This doesn't sound like it will make you happy in the long run and I don't think he'll change if it has been a year.

I had an ex who was like this and I wasted 2 and a half years. His plans always came first, I never went anywhere with him and his friends even when all the other gfs and bfs were going. Everything was separate, no holidays together.

I don't know why I clung onto it for so long but was so glad when I ended it. I think you should find someone else who wants to share their life with you.

Take the hint, he is just not that into you. You deserve better, move on.

Have you posted about this before? It sounds very familiar.

you're his friend with benefits OP, nothing more sadly

33? i thought u were going to say about 20-hes using you op-why wouldnt he take you to a wedding youre invited to