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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12

Original poster

To be narked that every weekend is taken up WITHOUT me

280 replies

treehousemaster · 25/05/2019 16:36

Simply that ... every weekend over the last couple of months my boyfriend of one year is busy . Occasions such as a wedding( that I was invited to but not brought) to family big birthday parties to friends events and sports .there is no reason for me not to go to any of these but I simply haven't been invited or even seen him before or after . So for example, the sports event may be on Saturday afternoon so he says he isn't free on the friday night having seen him only once during the week ... or later Saturday evening as he is tired and so I may see him for the afternoon on Sunday. AIBU or am I being demanding

OP posts:

crimsonlake · 25/05/2019 20:28

Since you are posting about this issue under different user names you are clearly very unhappy about the situation.
How many times do people need to tell you the same thing?
Why are you still with him?????
What's in it for you?
Stop being a doormat.

NotAgainKen · 25/05/2019 20:31

I remember you posting about this long before the other wedding thread. Not that there's anything wrong with that - post as many times as you like - but what are you hoping people will tell you? IRC, it's been pretty unanimous each time - he's not that into you, and you need to end it.

You're not being demanding or unreasonable. But you're also not in the relationship you think you are.

Orangeballon · 25/05/2019 20:43

I don’t thing you are his girlfriend, you are just a friend.

somecakefather · 25/05/2019 20:43

says he is too tired and I may not see him again until he is rested , Wednesday or even Thursday

Tell him to get stuffed. What exactly is it that keeps you hanging on?

WithLotsOfSprinkles0 · 25/05/2019 20:46

It sounds like you need to speak to a counsellor or a therapist of some sort.

As PP have said, you must have really low self esteem to put up with him.

It isn't a relationship, your a plan B, friend with benefits.
Turns his phone off for the weekend and then can't see you til Wednesday or Thursday?

WAKE UP!

Aquamarine1029 · 25/05/2019 20:49

Why are you still debating this, op? You can see he has zero affection or interest, surely? He's just using you as a back-up for his back-up plans.

BummyKnocker · 25/05/2019 21:04

he has never had a serious relationship before me . He is 33

To be frank, he isn't having one now .

AlexaAmbidextra · 25/05/2019 21:19

OP. Wasn’t one of your other threads about not seeing him over Christmas? If so, we’re now five months down the line and you’re still clinging on in desperation. Why do you keep posting if you aren’t prepared to free yourself from this ridiculous situation?

BarnabasTheMaineCoon · 25/05/2019 21:42

I once had a more intense relationship with a pen pal who didn't write very much English. He didn't speak much of it, either, but at least when we met he actually wanted to have sex and enjoyed it.

BumbleBeee69 · 25/05/2019 22:38

OP Wasn’t one of your other threads about not seeing him over Christmas? If so, we’re now five months down the line and you’re still clinging on in desperation. Why do you keep posting if you aren’t prepared to free yourself from this ridiculous situation?

aahhh yes it was Christmas, OP was excluded from all his Christmas activities, except allowing her to meet him briefly on route to another bash (10 mins) for her to hand him all his gifts from her?

DeeCeeCherry · 25/05/2019 22:48

You've posted several times. You don't want to leave him so find a way to put up with it. At the very least for now, find something to do with your weekend so you're not hanging around thinking about him.

Nobody respects a doormat they can walk over. It's not an attractive trait.

Original poster

treehousemaster · 25/05/2019 23:05

Thanks everyone . The annoying thing is that he brings me to all of the family occasions and involves me hugely with them , but as a couple or even as a couple in the company of his friends, there is little else happening . So if I go to an event with him, he literally drops me home the next day and I won't see him for at least three or four days despite living within easy distance and even then it's only for a few hours In The evening after work and I sleep there . He says he needs loads of personal space .. that's why I feel wheeled out and I wonder why he does this .

OP posts:

PatriciaHolm · 25/05/2019 23:08

Head/Wall....

BumbleBeee69 · 25/05/2019 23:11

cause he's really not that into you OP

joystir59 · 25/05/2019 23:14

YOU ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!

Honeyroar · 25/05/2019 23:15

Lots of people have told you why he does this!

TheFaerieQueene · 25/05/2019 23:16

So what are you going to do, OP? You have posted before I believe and had sensible suggestions (dump his sorry arse), but you seem to be going round in circles.
If he gave you 1/10th of the head space you give him, you might stand a chance in this relationship, but as it is, I don’t think so.

Ruru8thestars · 25/05/2019 23:24

Leave

bluebell34567 · 25/05/2019 23:30

he wont change. you want to spend your life like that or meet someone better?

Original poster

treehousemaster · 25/05/2019 23:35

So am I being completely ridiculous to think that by him inviting me to all his family celebrations/ home etc , that there is some interest on his behalf because the overwhelming advice is to get rid and I really do feel like I'm nearly there but then when he involves me so much with his family , I perhaps think I am special to him . There's a massive contradiction there or am I being stupid ?

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 25/05/2019 23:43

Well...

All of MN “ LTB”

OP “ But, but but...”

What do you think?

PatriciaHolm · 25/05/2019 23:44

So am I being completely ridiculous

yes.

Overmaars · 25/05/2019 23:44

Please don't think because he involves you in family events that he has intentions to deepen the relationship. There are no signs of that. No plans for the future. No dropping other parts of his life so he can spend more time with you. No making his friends fit in around arrangements with you. It's still the other way round. You're always the option when others are the priority to paraphrase a previous poster.

It will hurt you to finish it, of course it will. But that's nothing to the damage to your self esteem and future if you stay with him.

For whatever reason it's convenient for him to spend time with you. But that's it.

Sparklesocks · 25/05/2019 23:48

He doesn’t see you as someone he wants to share every aspect of his life with. You deserve better.

AdaColeman · 25/05/2019 23:48

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