I left a sanitary towel in my knickers...

[happygoluckylucky]

Okay. As the title suggests... (also name change!)

Maybe this is gross for some? But for me I don't think so at all!

I have just started my period. It's very, very light, so I've just been wearing a panty liner.

Anyway cut a long story short, I was really poorly yesterday and had to come home form work with a migraine. I got changed in the bathroom and had a shower. I just picked up all my clothes and threw them in the laundry bin when I got out. Obviously forgetting to take my liner out of my knickers to dispose of.

So, today I'm back at work and receive a shitty text from my dp about it. Saying how disgusting it is and 'what the hell ' etc. I felt mortified!! So embarrassed. But at the same time, when I got home, he'd left all my clothes in the laundry bin, and I obviously took the liner off straight away to dispose. There was barely anything on it- I mean perhaps a ten pence piece of a very light cycle.

Am I being U?? It was a mistake and not like I leave them lying around everywhere. It's just a period for goodness sake, it's not like I've got the plague!! It's made me feel really shit about myself?! But why!

DP sounds awful. I left a pad in my pants just last week - DH did the washing and it got washed ! When I went to put the underwear away, he'd carefully taken the pad out of the pants and folded it up neatly on top of them. It was very clean ! When I asked him about it he said that he thought it could be used again . No wonder I like him so much - nothing fazes him.

Don't feel crap OP.

With three menstruating women in our house you occasionally get the odd pad left in pants etc. My DH has never once even bothered about it. It's his problem, not yours. I would be telling him to deal with it.

No, you're a beautifully, healthy, normal woman x

I needed towels on my last period so text my OH a photo of what I wanted. They happened not to have that brand with wings I stock. This resulted in him chatting with a male employee (who happened to be deaf - the wing mime being especially funny) and a lot of chat about acceptable alternatives. They finished with a mutual smile about bring able to maturely discuss such a product. No nonsense. I'd like to think if my OH say that product used while emptying the bathroom bin he'd be ok. Because that's what they are and that's what they're for. Please don't feel embarrassed, you e done nothing wrong and gave nothing to be ashamed of x

I couldn't have sex with anyone who tried to shame me like this.

Just came flying in to say do not, under any circumstances, run a boil wash to clear a rogue sanitary towel left in the laundry.

I mean,it’s not pleasant but these things happen. And he is a childish fuckwit. He really, really is.

He sounds thoughtless and selfish.

My DH has binned pads which I've left in the bathroom by accident. On the numerous occasions I've miscarried he's put a towel down on the bed in case of an accident and told me to just go to bed and if there's a leakage it's not the end of the world and he'll deal with it in the morning.

With that kind of attitude I wonder if he's selfish and thoughtless in other areas too.

What did he say when you asked him about this OP? X

What else is this inadequate prick having go at you about?

@disneyspendingmoney someone mentioned painkillers in a purple box helping them, I think they might mean feminax. They are the only painkillers that help me with period pain, so if your dd hasn’t tried them it might be worth seeing if they help her.

Op yanbu, of course it’s not pleasant for him to have to remove a used sanitary towel from your underwear, humans are pretty unpleasant and full of all kinds of stuff that comes out of them 🤷🏻‍♀️ You just deal with it and move on.

Oh for goodness sake.

He sounds like a decent enough bloke in general. We are all allowed an off-day. I won’t even tell you the petty nonsense I ranted at my husband about today. Because I was tired and stressed by work and mildly irritated with him.

I do the washing here (he does the ironing). If I picked a pair of his boxers out of the washing basket and they were covered in poo or jizz I’d be leaving them for him to deal with.

And yeah I’d probably roll my eyes at him too.

I use washable pads..so there is a lot of menstrual activity in the wash basket. Can't imagine my DH being a knob about it.

Sigh, it's just really pathetic isn't it, by which I mean he is pathetic. It was going to be washed for God's sake . I just couldnt be bothered with a man bloody telling me off and attempting to degrade me over a forgotten sanitary towel in my own wash bin- and I'd have asked him who the hell he thinks he even is to comment too. I don't like it OP; he's setting a tone that it is ok to speak down to you and you will take it and take it to heart and suggests he has some issues with menstruation being disgusting that belong in the last century. It's not actually ok is it.

I have a chronic illness and this stuff happens all the time my DP has literally never even commented, he would comment more on a split drink than a bit of period blood I think so as not to embarrass me in fact (not that it would)

Puffkin Tue 21-May-19 23:47:48
Any man who would seek to shame you over a non event like this is fucking vile.

Out of all the PPs on this thread, this is the one single, soliitary post that says it all succinctly.

The only other thing I can think of, is that when he changed your catheter, he was expecting urine. Probably when he was doing the laundry, he wasn't expecting to grab a used pad, so he was caught off-guard.
But he still shouldn't have mentioned it in the manner he did so; especially as you had never left one before.
I know if that happened here, my husband would have texted me to be sure I was feeling better, rather than to reprimand me!

One thing I've realised us that men aren't taught how to communicate about periods. Male language surrounding it is wrapped up in euphemism, confusion and disgust, because it's foreign to us and from childhood it's never spoken to us about it. It's not normalised and it is normal.

For example, on Monday when DD was doubled over with cramps and vomitting and I'm trying to find out what's wrong I don't know what to say. First I have no idea the last time I had stomach cramps or even if hers match my experience of this type of pain and where it comes from.

In many respects, I understand where OPs DP is coming from because men don't have mechanism to talk reasonable about it, but I don't feel I would have handled it that way either. So, while I'm not asking to be forgiven for twatish behaviour, no body has taken the time, since I was a teenager to actually tell me how to communicate about it and I'm only discovering that now. But then I've never asked until now, mostly because it really has never been on my radar.

My advice is to get together with someone who grew up on a farm. DH is totally and utterly laid back about periods etc (sometimes more than me, I think).

I hope you do tell him how upsetting you found his reaction.

My husband is a star. Ive had leaks on the bed sheets. It's not fazed him. I had an emergency operation he packed my bag with underwear and feminine hygiene products. Real men aren't fazed by mother nature, its natural and sometimes accidents can't be helped.

Break the taboo ladies. It's just blood

He's being a twat. I've done this with panty liners at the end of my period before. Less likely to do it with a full on pad. He needs to grow up

‘D’p is a prick, has he never seen blood before or something? Is he unaware that women have periods?

Idiot.

I also want to say you definitely shouldn’t even consider having children with someone like this. If he can’t handle the sight of spotting on a pantyliner, he definitely couldn’t handle the blood loss during and after birth!

Massive over reaction by so many posters

The poster who thinks you should apologise and confirm it was a mistake is a loopy-loo.

However he should apologise for texting you in work about it.

Women have periods; occasionally women slip up on the ridiculous sanitisation and hiding of every aspect of our periods; a non wanker would be understanding and stoical about that.

If he doesn't want any evidence that he's in a relationship with a real, live, functioning woman - perhaps he should go gay or get a sex doll (apparently they're getting better and better all the time).

My exH told me, when I was having VERY heavy periods and blood almost pouring out of me as I sat on the loo, that he found it offensive when I left the toilet with blood in it and would I please check its clean in future. For context, the blood would be a blob about the size of a 10p piece on the bottom of the loo if there was a lot of blood and one (or two) flushes wouldn't clear it away properly. No he didn't clean the loo or wipe up after using it so I cleaned away all his wee marks and poo stains without comment .

By contrast, early on in relationship with current boyfriend we had sex in his bed and I discovered that my period hadn't finished two days earlier as I thought and I bled all over his (white) duvet! He was an absolute angel about it and calmly stripped bed, put duvet cover in machine and duvet in the bin! Not phased or anything! He's so lovely

Your DP is an arsehole.

If I'd done this my DP would just peel it off and put it in the bin. He washes the reusable ones. He helped when I was flooding through 2 at a time on holiday with it running down my leg (we were indoors thank god). We dtd during shark week.

Your DP needs to grow up.