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Original poster

I left a sanitary towel in my knickers...

218 replies

happygoluckylucky · 21/05/2019 20:43

Okay. As the title suggests... (also name change!)

Maybe this is gross for some? But for me I don't think so at all!

I have just started my period. It's very, very light, so I've just been wearing a panty liner.

Anyway cut a long story short, I was really poorly yesterday and had to come home form work with a migraine. I got changed in the bathroom and had a shower. I just picked up all my clothes and threw them in the laundry bin when I got out. Obviously forgetting to take my liner out of my knickers to dispose of.

So, today I'm back at work and receive a shitty text from my dp about it. Saying how disgusting it is and 'what the hell ' etc. I felt mortified!! So embarrassed. But at the same time, when I got home, he'd left all my clothes in the laundry bin, and I obviously took the liner off straight away to dispose. There was barely anything on it- I mean perhaps a ten pence piece of a very light cycle.

Am I being U?? It was a mistake and not like I leave them lying around everywhere. It's just a period for goodness sake, it's not like I've got the plague!! It's made me feel really shit about myself?! But why!

OP posts:
DowntonCrabby · 21/05/2019 22:22

He sounds like a precious wee flower!!

Praiseyou · 21/05/2019 22:22

He probably over reacted but for those saying it's a natural bodily function, well so is defaceating but if this was a thread about a woman sorting out laundry and coming across her dh's skid marked underwear, I think she would get loads of support and be asked why was she doing his washing in the first place.

The cries of ltb and misogyny are ridiculous.

escapade1234 · 21/05/2019 22:23

Well I’m all for being respectful on the one hand (not sticking used pads to the wall for example) and understanding on the other (not freaking out if they catch sight of a used one in the bin) but fgs, husbands rinsing out their wives used washable pads??? That seems to cross a boundary of...Idk...normality?

Original poster
happygoluckylucky · 21/05/2019 22:25

Mmmm I did think it was a bit of a dick move. Not really like him either.

He didn't remove the towel pp, he just left my knickers with it on in the laundry bin. Just carried on and did his washing. I wouldn't expect him to take it out but on the other hand it's not like it was going to give him the plague. Maybe because I'm not squeamish I don't see what the big deal is.

I'm not sure I'm going to worry about our relationship regarding this, as this isn't what he's like usually! So unsure if he's just had a bad day at work. I will confront him about it though! As it's not nice to feel embarrassed about something so natural! Fair enough he doesn't have to agree to having to see it. But it's a one off. I think he's being utterly ridiculous and needs to grow up.

No, not planning on having a baby with him don't worry haha.

OP posts:
Flippedout · 21/05/2019 22:26

Tell him to grow up x

Trebla · 21/05/2019 22:27

Oh my Gosh. My OH puts my cloth pads through the wash. Its blood not poison.

justasking111 · 21/05/2019 22:27

My partner has always been funny about womens bodily functions, does not want to see or know about anything. He grew up in a house full of boys so never knew what went on with girls. I was the first female he lived with.

fifipop185 · 21/05/2019 22:28

What an arse. DH has seen me give birth, helped to change my sanpro after birth as I wasn't very mobile, and doesn't flinch when our now teen DD leaks over her bedding and pants on occasion. DH sees it as part and parcel of caring for those you love. In return, I dare to wash his toxic waste socks Grin

Trebla · 21/05/2019 22:28

He has no right to shame you about it in that manner either. He needs to check himself. This has made me irrationally cross on your behalf. I probably need to check myself now Confused

mrssoap · 21/05/2019 22:29

What an idiot. He didn't have to say anything let alone be so immature about it. I agree with others that this would be a red flag for me

mollpop · 21/05/2019 22:30

Sorry, but he's being an immature twat.

KnittingForMittens · 21/05/2019 22:32

Oh tell him to grow the fuck up. I accidentally left a sanitary towel in the bathroom with blood on it and my "D" husband told me to get in there and pick it up.... basically looking at me in disgust! Told him to grow the hell up and it seemed to have worked because when I did it again a few months ago (again my accident), he didn't say a word and just put it straight into the bin! They whinge about it but yet they don't find it disgusting pissing all over the toilet seat, the floor and leave shitty skid marks down the pan! Hmm

disneyspendingmoney · 21/05/2019 22:39

My tween DD started her period yesterday.Fir transparencies sake, I'm a lone parent with full custody and a bloke.

I've come to terms with the fact that blokes know absolutely fuck all about periods, really fuck all. I thought I knew something,, read a few articles and books about it, nah! It doesn't prepare you for the realities of heavy periods and associated stomach stuff.

dds pain was do bad she threw up,I have zero idea of what the stomach cramps must be like or the back pain. I've bought her OTC cocodamol cos I'm worried about the amount of paracetamol she wants to take.

Also having to deal with all the different sorts of tampons, towels etc. Wilko's has been an eye opener. I ended up making the conscious decision that it was going to be towels as it looked easier to explain. Plus given some of the dumb shit in the instructions the packaging is well and truly designed not to offend some fellas sensibilities if they accidentally come across a pack.

Also, and this is just plain lazy of me and I do expect people to ( vigorously) disagree with me, I buy £3 multi packs of knickers from Primark and throw away the messed up ones cos the washing machine just doesn't sort them out. The bed sheets I just out on a boil wash and that's made things worse.

I know I don't have the right to comment on this but it been a steep learning curve and a eye opener.

But I will say that I can now shut down any woke bloke just by talking about emptying the bathroom bin and doing the washing. Us dudes really need to learn the realities of this.

And again sorry if I've trodden on toes or offended or over stepped the mark, but I have no one to talk to about this.

Gatesgate · 21/05/2019 22:40

Tbh I don't think it's crime of the century to be a little grossed out at a used sanitary towel amongst a pile of washing unexpectedly

Nobbish to make a massive deal out of it but I would prefer not to have blood stained pads against my clothes too

If it's a one off - really no major deal other than a mention. I have been in homes where it's not an odd occasion but a norm to leave lying around and that does gross me out as a female quite familiar with my own anatomy (work)

Itsnotme123 · 21/05/2019 22:46

He obviously doesn’t like his steak rare !

mollpop · 21/05/2019 22:48

@disneyspendingmoney

Boiling the sheets will just make matters worse, it effectively sets the strain. A cool wash is much better at removing blood stains Smile

mollpop · 21/05/2019 22:49

Obviously meant stain not strain!

Itsnotme123 · 21/05/2019 22:53

disneyspendingmoney ask the pharmacy about good pain killlers. I remember a purple packet of paracetamol type tablets, they were excellent. But I can’t remember the name of it exactly. Hot water bottles are good too.

ScrimshawTheSecond · 21/05/2019 22:53

That's a pretty childish reaction from him. My partner washes my towels, first time he found one in the wash he just asked what temperature they had to go on at.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 21/05/2019 22:53

@disneyspendingmoney- soak offending bloody items in warm water with sea salt in it to loosen the blood before washing with stain remover.

Itsnotme123 · 21/05/2019 22:57

disneyspendingmoney and Vanish Pink stain remover is your friend when it’s washing time 😉

recrudescence · 21/05/2019 22:57

Your OH has behaved very badly and should apologise.

Honeyroar · 21/05/2019 22:58

@disneyspendingmoney perhaps you could reccomend a book about how the female body works for the OP's boyfriend. He clearly needs to learn a lot!

Lockheart · 21/05/2019 22:59

I actually don't think he's as awful as everyone else is making out.

I get annoyed if I'm doing the laundry and have to pick old tissues out of pockets, for example. It shows carelessness and a lack of respect for whoever's turn it is to actually do the chore. Old tissues are pretty disgusting, I don't care how much I love the user!

I'd be annoyed if I had to pick old sanpro out of laundry too.

If it was truly a one-off I probably wouldn't have mentioned it. But I don't think he is BU to be annoyed.

myhamster · 21/05/2019 23:01

disney hi, I have been on other threads with you. As a male and lone parent, then yes you need to be able to talk to DD about this without any embarrassment. I get that it is an embarassing subject for some people. My dad would never ever discuss "womens problems".

PS. Have you ever seen the film "Blended" where Adam Sandler is trying to buy tampons for his DD, it's hilarious Grin. Good old Drew Barrymore has to help him out. If you want a chat about anything, start a thread in LP and I will check it out. (My DD 11yo recently started).

OP I can see why your OH would be grossed out, I think it is quite a normal reaction, I would be if I came across it in washing I was doing for somebody. But also, if he is happy to swap bodily fluids with you, then he shouldn't be too grossed out by it !

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