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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a third child just to have a girl?

179 replies

Calltheguards · 21/05/2019 19:42

I know I'm being completely ridiculous!

I dream of having a daughter. My mum and I used to collect dolls and say I would pass them down to my daughter (it was more my mum's thing than mine but I liked the idea of it). I get so jealous when I see little girl clothing. We have boys and they're lovely but I really, really want a girl.

AIBU to have us try in hopes that we get a girl?

OP posts:
Fiveredbricks · 21/05/2019 19:43

How would you feel about a 3rd boy... Or what if it was twin boys?

HoneysuckIejasmine · 21/05/2019 19:43

That's why my husband has two younger brothers instead of one.

Fwiw, the youngest knows he was a disappointment from the off.

TheFatberg · 21/05/2019 19:43

Would you be happy with a third boy?

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 21/05/2019 19:44

YABU. Would you have a fourth, fifth, sixth etc,?

TheFatberg · 21/05/2019 19:44

Cross posted with fiveredbricks... Great minds.

Bollockwort · 21/05/2019 19:44

Unfortunately there's no guarantee you wouldn't have another boy!

Would you consider fostering/adoption?

Liverbird77 · 21/05/2019 19:44

Not unreasonable at all as long as:
You are prepared for another boy and won't resent him and you wouldn't favour a girl over your existing boys

Alwaysgrey · 21/05/2019 19:44

What happens if you have another boy? I often wish my children didn’t have disabilities and look very jealously at typically developing children.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 21/05/2019 19:44

I went to primary school with a girl who ended up being the middle child of seven daughters, their parents were open about wanting a boy, where would it still stop OP?

ferrerorocherlover · 21/05/2019 19:45

Well 50% chance it could be a boy, I'd do it if I could afford those clinics in the states where they is a way to choose the sex but even that's not 100% I was like you at one point as I have two boys, but I stopped caring and craving like i had done before

Orchidoptic · 21/05/2019 19:45

You could spend years and years pregnant, trying to get a girl and each time its a boy, the disappointment is that much more. Cherish what you have, not the dreams of whet you don’t.

SajeW23 · 21/05/2019 19:46

We had two boys and then a girl :)

So far she seems more rough and tumble than the boys and much prefers hot wheels over baby dolls 🤣

I only had a 3rd bc I wanted a baby girl sooo bad. My vote is go for it :)

MoreSlidingDoors · 21/05/2019 19:46

Friend of my mum’s was desperate for a girl that she could cuddle and dress up. She had 6 boys before getting her beloved girl. Who has a shaved head and plays rugby for Wales.

negomi90 · 21/05/2019 19:48

If you got a girl (and you're equally likely to get a boy) there's no guarantee she'll be interested in dolls or willing to let you dress her up beyond the 1st year.
Have a third child because you want one. Not due to hopes you'll get a specific type of a specific gender.

SoyDora · 21/05/2019 19:50

YABU. Have another baby if you want another person in your family, not because you want a gender stereotype.

SoyDora · 21/05/2019 19:51

By the way I have three. We had two girls first. I wouldn’t have had another if I had had any hint of a preference, as it wouldn’t have been fair on the baby.

Ullupullu · 21/05/2019 19:51

Why can't your sons play with your dolls I don't get it?

Chocolatepeanuts · 21/05/2019 19:52

I think there's slightly more than a 50% chance it'll be another boy considering you already have 2. Something about your body favouring male sperm. Could be tosh but i read it somewhere when i was expecting DS3. It was right for me. When i was expecting him i did imagine what it would be like if he was a girl, but i never actively wished he was. If I had I wouldnt have bothered TTC again. Its unfair on the child. 3 boys are great imo!

DeathyMcDeathStarFace · 21/05/2019 19:54

As long as you cherish a third boy as much as you would cherish a girl if it turned out you had another boy then I don't see a problem as long as both you and the prospective father want to have another child. (Unless you would go for anonymous donor etc)

Just keep it in mind there is the chance of having a girl, but also an equal chance of having a boy. We have 4 boys, so didn't have boy, boy, girl like you are hoping for, so there is a chance you would not get a girl, we didn't.

bert3400 · 21/05/2019 19:57

I have 4 boys ....I always wanted a girl bit I didn't . I absolutely adore my boys and am just grateful they are all healthy and happy. Please don't have another baby with the hope of a girl, have a baby because you will be adding to your already lovely family

pigsDOfly · 21/05/2019 19:58

You're already putting a huge amount of pressure on this female child and you're not even pregnant.

What if you do end up with a little girl and she isn't the way you think a little girl should be? Would you then want to then try again to get the sort of little girl that you want, a little girl who wants to have your mother's doll collection and wants to be all the things you think girls should be?

Not all little girls are pink and fluffy and love dollies.

I knew a couple who desperately wanted a boy, they gave up after the fourth girl, but were clearly disappointed. I loss touch with them before their daughter grew up but I often wonder how it affected their relationship with them.

YouBumder · 21/05/2019 19:58

I know I'm being completely ridiculous!

Well, you got that bit right, given your reasons for wanting to create a new living breathing human being are to to have a 50% chance to pass on dolls and buy clothes.

I’ve got no time for all this nonsense. It’s all this kind of thing that causes gender stereotyping and associated grief

KinderSurpriseBump · 21/05/2019 19:58

You reminded me of my brother who wanted to try for a girl after two boys. They ended up having twin boys. They stopped trying for a girl and now feel complete with the 4 boys.

Sparklybanana · 21/05/2019 20:00

Statistically, it will be a boy. each time you have a child of the same sex, the likelihood that you’ll have an opposite gendered child reduces. Have a third child if you want a 3rd boy but not if you want a girl. That’s not to say you won’t have a girl, but it’s less likely than you think..

RagingWhoreBag · 21/05/2019 20:02

My mum and I used to collect dolls and say I would pass them down to my daughter (it was more my mum's thing than mine but I liked the idea of it). I get so jealous when I see little girl clothing

Hmm Confused that's why you want a girl?! To play dress up and dollies? Maybe its best you don't then.