Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say very few women would be interested in this man as a long-term option.

182 replies

brokenpromisesorlies · 14/05/2019 20:41

I walked away from the man I loved because I just couldn’t cope with the following list! Before I tell you the list he is very attractive, financially stable and incredibly intelligent! Can I ask if you, as a woman could forge a life with this man;

Complex sexual practices to include delivering pain, bisexuality and exhibitionism.

Workaholic

Unable to empathise/ display compassion. I would go as far as to suggest he might be a sociopath.

He didn’t buy me as much as a birthday card/ cup of coffee in a year of dating.

Periods of severe depression and suicidal ideation.

Constantly compared my looks/figure to other women and talked about ‘beautiful young men’! I have been left feeling very unattractive and low, despite him frequently telling me how beautiful I am.

Sometimes unnecessarily unkind and would create issues to be able to verbally chastise me/ ignore me.

He would gave actual, childlike tantrums!

All decisions re; telephone calls, catch-ups had to be decided by him, he never agreed to see me/ speak to me if I made the suggestion!

He has no social network. He doesn’t make an effort to stay in touch with family and friends, never married, no DC etc at almost 50!

Most of his relationships ended before 12 months!

He constantly told me he wanted me, wanted to settle down but his actions, attitude and behaviours meant that there was absolutely no way that I could stay without becoming completely broken!

I miss him! Tell me I’ve done the right thing and nobody would have been able to make that work! Sad

OP posts:
lastqueenofscotland · 14/05/2019 20:43

He sounds fucking awful.

StealthPolarBear · 14/05/2019 20:43

Could cope with workaholic but would end it for most of the others on their own

randomncftw · 14/05/2019 20:43

I’m not really sure what you miss about him tbh 😬

crackofdoom · 14/05/2019 20:44

He sounds horrible, and must really have messed with your head.

Dollywilde · 14/05/2019 20:44

Jesus op!

Have to say the first thing on your list wouldn’t throw me too much as am of the same persuasion (not that you should have to be!)

But everything else... crikey, you’re well shot.

pigsknickers · 14/05/2019 20:44

He sounds fucking awful and dangerous, you've definitely done the right thing! Be kept me to yourself x

NabooThatsWho · 14/05/2019 20:45

Did he have any good points?

HollowTalk · 14/05/2019 20:45

Why on earth did you stay with him for 12 months? He sounds absolutely awful.

ConkerGame · 14/05/2019 20:45

What is there to miss?!? I think you just miss being in a relationship. Not being in a relationship with him!

brokenpromisesorlies · 14/05/2019 20:45

I have been no contact for almost three months and it has been awful,
I miss him and tonight, more than ever I want to contact him! I know that I can’t though.. that would make me ridiculous and his behaviour towards me would I’m sure be even worse if we tried again!

OP posts:
Mokepon · 14/05/2019 20:46

Honestly? He sounds like a complete wanker. Do yourself a massive favour and don't waste any more time thinking about him unless it's to get yourself some therapy to learn how never to get involved with someone like that ever again.

gublercullen · 14/05/2019 20:47

Could cope with the sexual aspects, workholic trait, not buying coffee/birthday card etc, short relationships & if in love with said person wouldn't necessarily end things because of mental health issues but other than that he sounds like an arsehole.

EvilMorty · 14/05/2019 20:47

He sounds like a barrel of laughs, what on earth could you be missing except a life of imposed misery.

OctoberOrchid · 14/05/2019 20:47

Actually made me feel a bit sick reading that knowing there are men like that out there Shock

Laiste · 14/05/2019 20:48

How on earth did you ever come to be in love with him in the first place??

IAmTheChosenOne · 14/05/2019 20:48

Christ. What were the good bits ?

mbosnz · 14/05/2019 20:48

12 months? Um, try 12 minutes.

Spray and walk away.

Not having read the books, he sounds very much like I imagine the male in 50 shades of grey!

ballisticcyclistic · 14/05/2019 20:48

Oh my god OP - he does sound sociopathic.

There was a reason he had never had s social network, marriage it DC - and it certainly wasn’t anything to do with you!

You can’t help some people.

Good for you for walking away.

Never go back to that. He would have ruined your life and you only live once.

gublercullen · 14/05/2019 20:48

A lot of things on the list aren't a big deal to me, sexual side of things, workaholic, mental health, not paying for things, etc. But other than those he sounds like a bit of an arsehole.

Looobyloo · 14/05/2019 20:49

No way! He sounds like a sociopath, you are better off out of it!

Samind · 14/05/2019 20:50

You are well rid of him. Keep reading those negatives when you feel yourself having a wobble.

titchy · 14/05/2019 20:50

Christ work on your self esteem woman.

MissBPotter · 14/05/2019 20:51

It was a no from me after the first point about his sexual practices. Yuck. You’ve done the right thing.

EvilMorty · 14/05/2019 20:51

Whenever you feel like calling him, think to yourself - do I want to hurt myself today. All you would be doing by contacting him, is picking a scab.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 14/05/2019 20:51

Not having read the books, he sounds very much like I imagine the male in 50 shades of grey!

Same here.