Teacher shouted at me

[Millie2018]

Dropped my DD off at nursery and walk round past the junior school building to get out. I’m pushing a buggy, which has my 1yo asleep in. A teacher opens her door and starts shouting at me. I can’t hear so walk closer to her and say pardon and she shouts at me “we are trying to do a test in here”. I’m confused and look around and say ok? Then another parent comes over and picks up her nursery aged child who had wondered over to the classroom window. The teacher obviously thought the child was mine. I’m pretty shocked. Firstly, when did it become ok to shout at parents on school grounds? Secondly, you're shouting at the wrong parent. Thirdly, it’s nursery pick up time and your window is on the pick up route (there’s no alternative). Would I be unreasonable to drop in the office on my afternoon run to mention it? Or is this just the norm now?!

Ahhheteitgoes where are all the extra imaginary classrooms going to come from to appease a few self entitled parents who think the world revolves around their toddlers?

Surely leaving the classroom during a test and shouting across the playground like a loon then huffing back in to the room is far more disturbing for the children than you just walking past, also why is everyone jumping on you over the random kid literally not your child not your problem, and where else really we’re you supposed to walk if that’s the way in and out of a morning? Fly over the roof? Stop drop and roll? I mean honestly 🙄

She was far more disruptive than you were to be honest.

Massive overreaction on the teachers part sats or not, and whilst I wouldn’t complain officially I’d certainly go and have a conversation with her about it.

Get the school to put up signs - lots of signs. I work in HE and we have exams at all times of year. If the signs are up we are of course extra quiet. Shouting will not help the innocent parent or indeed the children taking the test!

TBH I bet there are posters up everywhere and it will have been in the newsletter and letters home and every kid in the school will know, because SATs are a huge big massive deal. You'd be forgiven for not knowing about it if you're eldest is still in nursery. But you would still be an arse to complain, or to be upset in anyway at someone mistakenly asking you to stop a child from disturbing a class, exams or no.

@my2bundles I'm thinking more about the SATS takers than any parents or toddlers. If it's on the route to nursery some noise is inevitable. Perhaps they could swap with another class.

They also really should have a sign up as parents of young children may not be aware it's SATS week.

I don't think I'd have a problem with it at all though I may think they were ignorant for not saying a sorry wrong child. But not everyone reacts and feels the same way.

Some people seem to think it's a minor detail but I would be fizzing over the injustice of it.

you are an adult, you really need to get over yourself!

Get over myself? Because being blamed for something I didn't do makes me feel injustice? Perhaps you could explain how that is not an adult response? I realise it's an extreme reaction to this particular situation, but it's an adult reaction to blame.

If you are an adult you need to work on your communication skills.

OP you haven’t made it clear whether the nursery has a separate entrance. It sounds as though the primary weren’t expecting nursery parents to be wandering around school during SATS, should you have been in that part of the school grounds?

Oh goodness, rude - absolutely. Nonetheless, I'd let it go and get on with life. It's not something that deserves further mention. I do not understand this new culture of wanting to report every little thing, sometimes things like this are not worthy of the hassle. We're all human, the teacher made a mistake but it's something that you can overcome and get over.

Our school put up signs banning you from walking past the SATS classrooms, so maybe your school should have done this, or if thats not possible, they should put up signs asking for silence. But this happens every year, so you would think they would have a routine by now.....

Ahhhereitgoes. It's not as simple as shopping a classroom. In my son's school doing SATS this week his year group of 60 have been split into smaller groups to spread them out and placed them in 6 different rooms across the school which have been freed up. They need 3 times amount of space during exams so it's not as simple as sloppy g rooms to avoid noise. Others need to be respectfull during tbe exam week.

I hope whoever’s toddler it was can read the signs and adjust their behaviour accordingly

I think this is about resilience. Sure it is an injustice, but an incredibly minor one. The kind that a resilient adult should be able to quickly put behind them.

SymphonyofShadow there’s only one way in and out for the 11.30 and 12.30 pick ups and drop offs.

coffeegrounds
no, go for it, make a huge scandal because you are a bit miffed, be that person.

But then, do make sure you are doing every single thing by the book, and never ask the school for a favour and a bit of help because it works both ways. Also pray that your kid will never be in that teacher's class.
If you are certain you are always 100% perfect, on time, and your kid's behaviour is immaculate, yes, go for it complain.

A suggestion that signs be put up is a good one, and maybe one on the nursery door to remind parents that they need to ensure their children keep away, as much as is possible, from the particular classrooms, so hopefully that would ensure parents would hold their child's hand rather than letting them wander off and disturb the test taking children.

what @claire said ^

And it is this degree of minor pettiness that makes me glad that I no longer work with the public.

Millie I think your suggestion of an email reminder to the nursery parents is excellent.

It's not ideal for her to have shouted or not apologised when she realised she had the wrong parent, but frankly I can't imagine what life must be like for the teachers in the run up to and during SATs, so I wouldn't judge at all. I know what I'm like when my nerves are frayed.

I've had a couple of occasions when a bad mood has resulted in me being unreasonably short with someone, and although they only see my black mood, I quickly feel guilty. If the feeling lingers I often return to the person later to clear the air with an apology and say I was in such and such a mindset when I behaved unreasonably. Not everyone would do that but I can see this as being one of these occasions and probably she's feeling bad inwardly.

Meh wouldn't worry about it, next time you see the Stasi agent of whichever state indoctrination education facility that you send your child to, say to her Schild und Schwert der Partei. She will be your comrade from that point on 😁👍

I probably would have loudly said 'I beg your pardon? Who do you think you're shouting at?'

But I am an arsey bitch. My advice is probably not the best on this thread...

I like your idea of suggesting a mail to all parents to inform them that it's SATs time and to be quiet around the school grounds during the day - at least that way something productive has come out of this

OP as it's SATS, I think this was the best way to deal with it. I would cut the teacher some slack, and leave it this time. (But if i ever happened to be chatting informally to the teacher, I would definitately have to explain that it wasn't my child.)

Until MN, I didn't realise people got worked up about things like this. This is the kind of thing that I probably would not even remember to tell DP about when he came home. Honestly, forget about it. It is such a minor thing

Some people seem to think it's a minor detail but I would be fizzing over the injustice of it

Maybe I’m a bit sensitive, I was actually quite upset by it. It was just a bit of a shock.

I think it's fine for you to be a bit upset or put out by someone shouting at you for something you didn't do and can't control OP.

I'm one of the ones who does get upset about this kind of thing. I can lie awake at night in tears because of it. It's the school setting which sparks the anxiety.
If it happened any where else in my normal adult life I'd brush it off, but in school I struggle.
I know I still need to heal from my own school days, but when I'm in the DC's school and see how adults and kids behave it just sparks all my anxiety off.

(Still fuming about being told off for sending my child in with a waterproof coat in reception, he's 13 now. Still not sure what was I was supposed to have done in the situation)

There is nothing wrong with shouting to be heard. The teacher could not leave the classroom and walk into the playground.

holidays I can understand getting upset about things if it reminds you of your own schooldays. We all have things that disproportionately upset or anger us because they remind us of something that happened in our past. But we have to own that and try and not let it influence what we say or how we act with others, at least as much as we can.

Until MN, I didn't realise people got worked up about things like this. This is the kind of thing that I probably would not even remember to tell DP about when he came home. Honestly, forget about it. It is such a minor thing.

I agree with this and am truly amazed that so many people are saying they would complain. Can't you just let it go, rather than causing someone else stress at work? Be kind, like we're forever telling our children.

Bearing in mind that the nursery children clearly walk past this classroom every day, I doubt that the toddler was causing any disruption to the class at all. The children will be used to the sound of them and filter it out like they do every other day of the year.

The teacher getting stressed and yelling at parents is much more likely to make them anxious and affect their performance, especially as it's likely this stress has shown in other ways too.

Lots of us have stressful jobs. It's generally only teachers whom MNers consider should be allowed to shout, snap, call children names, etc as a result of their stress. Everyone else seems to be expected to behave professionally.

The teacher should just have arranged for signs to be up and perhaps a letter home to nursery parents asking them to try to minimise disruption for this week. I think it's a great idea for you to call into the office and ask them to do that for her.