To ask if you can suffer from depression and anxiety despite holding down a job and appearing largely ok?

[fortunatelynot]

Genuinely interested in experiences...can it truly be depression or anxiety when you are still functioning pretty well?

Yes if anything I need to work to help me otherwise I'd have too much time on my hands and find I sinker deeper into my anxieties when I'm off for longer periods

For me, getting up & going to work is essential for my mental health.

Yes I have suffered from depression and anxiety for most if my adult life and have got qualifications and held down a job pretty much the entire time. I can go into work most days even when I have had periods of being suicidal. I do a lot of masking.

Every so often it all gets too much and I have to take some time off. This can vary from just a day to a few weeks (the latter being extremely rare). Most if the time I just keep going.

I often find work gives me something else to focus on, and some social contact, which actually helps my mental health.

God, yes!

My dh best friend at work has recently committed suicide. He had suffered with depression & it all unfortunately got too much. Nobody knew or suspected anything. We were all completely shocked. I think people, especially men hide it well.

I've had good experience of Amitriptyline too. They don't often prescribe Tricyclics as a first line AD but will if SSRIs and SNRIs aren't working. Tricyclics are known for side effects but I've had nothing but mild dizziness for the first week or so and a dry mouth. The dizziness doesn't come back if I up the dose or anything though and the dry mouth has mostly subsided at 6 month in. I'm not better by a long shot but I'm more stable with them than without them so I guess that's something.

Amitryptilline can be extremely sedating though although that wears off. I am finding St Johns wort similar, without the sedation. Surprised it seems to work.

@Ohgodtheresaspider I'm very sorry to hear that your poor husband and his friend.

As someone who works, and suffers, I have learned to hide it well. I sometimes go through periods where I cry all the way to work cry all the way home, but look great all day in front of people.

Mine is recurrent psychotic depression and the psychosis worsens with stress...so advised not to work and get ESA (support group). I would like to try one day though. ESA have basically written me off, even their assessors say little chance of any return to work. Which is a bit depressing. I can't tolerate the antipsychotics either or their side effects.

Sorry to hear you are suffering OP, and I really hope you find relief soon

My answer is yes. I’ve struggled with anxiety for many years and depression in the last couple. I find work really helpful because of the routine, company, getting out of the house. But it’s a pleasant job with lovely colleagues and not too pressured. My sister has been signed off for mental health before but she has a different job and felt it was a contributing factor. So different strokes I guess. Some people need interaction and distraction when they’re going through it, some people need rest and peace.

**can I ask - has anybody found anything else useful for depression that are not ADs?

I’ve been having therapy for a couple of years, since having PND very severely (but have had some form of anxiety and/or depression for 20 years). It has helped me enormously, I feel like with it I have emotional support in place to help me deal with specific situations and also to talk about problematic things from my past.

It is really hard work but worth it.

The thing is, I’m in a fortunate position and have been able to pay for it privately. So that’s once a week for a year, twice a month for 6 months and monthly for the last six months. And I’m still needing those monthly sessions. So as good as it is, financially it is challenging best and sadly prohibitive at worst.

GP is a good start though, regardless of which route you take, seeking help is the first hurdle.

A long time ago I had severe depression of the suicidal ideation variety (came quite close actually) and as i was working as a contractor with no sick pay or job security I HAD to keep working.

I'd wake up and cry and want to kill myself
Drive to work and cry on the way there and want to kill myself
Park the car and put my game face on
Sort of shut it off for the working day
Get back in the car and cry and want to kill myself etc

I didn't miss a days work but I was as depressed as I'd ever been and really shouldn't have been working by most people's standards

Luckily I did go on to make a full recovery

So yes you can be suffering a lot and still work and look ok

Yes. I find swearing in the staff room helps.

I have done it for years.

Trigger warning - suicide

The lowest point was when I started to hang myself in the toilets at work. Someone else came in, so I stood up and went back to my very demanding job. Two months later I was found in a hotel room by the police during another attempt. Turned out that I had rung a crisis line and I was so drunk and drugged that I told them where I was. I have no memory of that day or several days afterwards.

Yes I work - my depression came on when I separated from my abusive ex. It’s brought up a lot of childhood abuse. I felt 20mg citalopram was great and really helped initially, however more recently my mood has began to sink again. It’s due to my divorce coming through and feeling very negative about my future. I have a lovely son and am fortunate in many ways. It doesn’t help the low moods though.
Probably excercise would help me.

Yes, I had a mini-breakdown at one point, was suffering from severe anxiety and panic attacks (in private) - but I was still plastering on a smile and going to work.

Luckily, I realised this miserable situation couldn't go on and went to the doctor's. After counselling and ongoing medication, i'm so much better.

So to answer your question, yes, you can muddle through when ill and come out the other side. The main lesson I learned is to admit that there's a problem and get help. Don't wait for other people (like family) to help you either, take control of the situation and speak to your doctor.

Yes I do ,I suffer from depression anxiety , depression and ptsd and I work full time nightshift run a house and look after my kids

Yes. You HAVE to get up, dress up and show up-if the roof over your head depends on it

I think that's quite naive. My roof depended on my job, however my mental illness was too severe for me to work, so my home was repossessed. It isn't always as simple as getting on with it because you have to. It depends on the severity of the illness.

Yes, but putting on the act of being "normal" at work drains me physically and mentally and so I am fairly reclusive out of work. I am married but my OH knows that after a long day I'm not going to be able to communicate much. My job has a very set routine, so during bad periods I go onto autopilot. During holidays and annual leave my depression nose-dives, I think because the routine stops.

Can I ask - has anybody found anything else useful for depression that are not ADs?

I was terrified of ADs and refused them for many years. I tried all sorts of talking therapies. Some helped a bit. But what helped the most was ADs and CBT at the same time. It's as if I needed the chemical imbalance in my brain to be treated before I could really apply the new skills learned through CBT, and I needed to live the CBT way in order to support the chemical rebalancing of the ADs.

Yes.

Yes. I've been forging on through sheer willpower for the longest time. It's only now that I'm relatively well that I realise quite how ill I was and for how long. I was simply determined that my abusive exH wouldn't get the better of me and luckily I had/have a fantastic support network who helped me out when the going got really tough.

@crazycatnerd I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you are in a better place now? I lost my job and ended up in arrears and I’m currently paying them back. Meantime I’m working a minimum wage job and relying on UC. Times are tough. I’m forever counting pennies and praying I’ll keep a roof over my dd’s head. It’s shit.

Yes, entirely possible. It feels awful to say it but I’m actually relieved to have found this thread tonight. Although it’s really upsetting to read how many others are suffering, I’m in a similar position and just feel so alone. Currently working, studying and raising DCs... I muddle through the week on autopilot but can barely function at the weekends (my DH and DM basically have to take the kids out as I often can’t get out of bed or stop crying). Neither my friends, colleagues, uni mates/supervisors or other parents at school would ever know, as I hide it well, but I’m completely exhausted, I hate almost everything about myself (even though I have a lovely life on paper) and some days I just wish it would all stop. I hate my job and wish I’d never started my degree, but without these things I’d be alone with my thoughts too much, which is a scarier prospect. I can’t see my situation improving as I lack the energy, motivation and self-worth required to change things for the better, so for now I’m just trying to get through each day at a time for my DCs’ sake. It’s fucking hard work.