To ask if you can suffer from depression and anxiety despite holding down a job and appearing largely ok?

[fortunatelynot]

Genuinely interested in experiences...can it truly be depression or anxiety when you are still functioning pretty well?

I came off AD last summer and became like a pressure cooker, I'd get outraged very quickly - didn't realise notice it but others pointed it out so i restarted on a low dose (previously on max dose). Looking back I think it was bordering on personality disorder. I'm much calmer on it, so I'm going to stay on it.

Yes, especially if you’re following a treatment plan.

We aren’t all just sat rocking in a corner.

meant to add i'm a m
nicer person on it, so for the sake of others/my relationships etc I started again and I'm happy that I did although I was very disappointed initially.

Yes that's pretty much me.

Yes. I take medication. Mostly I’m okay but I go through periods when I don’t know how I’m getting through the day.

I’ve been particularly low recently, various reasons. Not even my dh knows how bad things are sometimes. There are a few people I trust implicitly and know what to say, and when.

Most of the time though it’s something I battle with alone.

Yes

Yes.

Work is the one thing that distracts me from it and I appear not to have a care in the world

I do. I do it spectacularly well on the outside, but deep inside, I'm being tortured.

Yes. I suffered horribly with anxiety and depression for 8 months. Weirdly, the only time I felt almost normal was when I was in the busy office surrounded by people. I was totally exhausted and everyday was like climbing a mountain. My symptoms were: sleeplessness, visual hallucinations (when I got really tired), suicidal feelings in the evenings, almost constant panic. I forced myself to go to work, because I was terrified of losing my income, my job, my self worth. I gradually got better with counselling and anti-depressants.

Depression and anxiety affects people differently.

I really am sorry to hear all of your stories. It's horrible isn't it.

I mask it pretty much all of the time, although it can break through under certain circumstances. I can talk to my DP but try not to unless it’s getting too much. I have not found it helpful to talk to other people about it so generally don’t, except for professionals - I have had good quality talking therapy twice and it really helps. I wish it was more easily available for everyone who needs it.

What else helps... routine, no alcohol, healthy eating, exercise, working hard on my personal and professional boundaries, using mindfulness and CBT techniques, being kind to myself and to others. Noticing the small pleasures and happinesses, trying not sweat the small things. Have to work at it constantly but if it ever got really bad again, I’d go back on the medication without hesitation. Well, not much hesitation.

Just a question to everyone suffering on here.
Do any of you get aching joints and muscles and restless leg syndrome. I've read it from tensing so much it that it causes the aches? It's one of my symptoms.

Yes.

My therapist said I was very highly functioning, and that's my saving grace I guess.

Newyearbollocks try magnesium supplements. They’re recommended for restless legs and they help with sleep.

can I ask - has anybody found anything else useful for depression that are not ADs?

I've suffered from depression for 30 years. I've only taken AD for approximately 6 weeks over 15 year's ago and I couldn't stand the side effects. I'm generally ok and I'm not on any meds, but when I feel a depressive episode coming, these things help me:

diet - cutting out red meat & processed foods/ready meals and cut out sugar. I cook everything from scratch, drink more water and eat loads of fresh fruit and vegetables.

Outdoor exercise - I go for a walk/jog in the woods or the park

Journal - I keep a journal of how I feel and what has triggered the feelings etc.

Clean house - I go into a cleaning frenzy and my home is spotlessly clean.
The combination of these have a very positive impact upon my mood.

Yes - that's me!
Am working on it though - anxiety is very severe at the moment.

Yes, of course. I have cyclothymia, anxiety and anorexia but have nearly always been able to work.

It's only the most severe cases that cannot work at all in my experience.

However, I think it's very dangerous to say things like 'yes, because I have to.' or 'yes, because there's no choice.' A lot of posters have said this and it makes it sound like they are stronger than those who can't work and that, if circumstances demand it, anyone could push their MH condition aside and just cope.

That just isn't the case. Depression and other mental healthy conditions do not respect the fact that you are a single parent, need rent money, need to care for other family members etc. At a certain severity of illness a person will break down regardless of the need to keep going. That isn't their fault and the consequences can be horrendous (homelessness, children going into care etc).

Just because you think you have to keep going doesn't mean you have the physical ability to. It's not superior strength, it's luck/less severe illness.

Severe mental illness isn't limited to those with the time, money and freedom to succumb to it.

OP I haven't read the whole thread but read one of your updates and please believe me when I tell you that drugs aren't the answer: therapy is.

Yes. People ask me if I'm fine but they've no idea. I feel useless and worthless most of the time.

No, not always. I haven't managed a great employment record TBH. I've mostly had quite basic jobs despite having a postgrad degree. Some of the time I haven't even managed that. Yes, of course I've had medication, therapy etc. But I've also learned the hard way over the years not to rock the boat too much.

Yes and have done for most of my life.
It’s called high functioning depression or medically, dysthymia.
Or as my dad would say: shut up and get on with it!

user11011 - did you access therapy privately?

Yes. But I have postgrad qualifications and am in an entry level admin job. Have had depression for most of my life, ADs on and off for about 25 years. Two periods of 6 - 9 months not working because I couldn't. I mask well enough that when they found out I was on long term therapy colleagues usually say they didn't realise I was ill.

Working was actually the thing that kept me going when my anxiety was at its worst; if I'd been sat home with my thoughts, I'm almost certain that my panic attacks would have been far more frequent. Not everyone has that experience, though, and I can appreciate that. I've been on medication for several months now, and it's helped me tremendously.

University student doing STEM, 3 kids. Single. ADHD. Severe depression and anxiety. Medicated up to my eyeballs. Was a SAHM for 9 years prior. It’s hard as fuck but at least I’m not bored to tears any more.