To ask if you can suffer from depression and anxiety despite holding down a job and appearing largely ok?

[fortunatelynot]

Genuinely interested in experiences...can it truly be depression or anxiety when you are still functioning pretty well?

Sorry X posted.

Yes but it will probably break you in the end if you don't get the right help.

Yes. It’s very very hard. Like pp, I continued to work whilst very ill and suicidal. It’s complicated - work contributed to the breakdown but in some ways maybe having to get up and get in every day kept me going. I don’t know. However it manifests itself, whether we can keep going or can’t, it’s shit.

Yes. And that's one of the reasons it took me so long to get treatment: I did not believe I was ill because I was surviving.

Sorry - I should have put that I was asking for myself - it is just that I was just sitting in the garden and suddenly posted before telling myself not to and I only put the minimum in.

I am certainly not doubting anybody who has depression.

Yes

Not for me- but then maybe it was the jobs made mine worse. I was in teaching which seemed to make things worse - also my degree took an extra year with the help of fluoxetine.

I am on ESA atm, but considering working in a different area in the future. maybe the type of work really makes a difference.

Have you considered trying a different SSRI? Although it’s really helped me, Fluoxetine (Prozac) is a bit old school now.

Yes, I think sometimes it’s work that keeps people going. Works the place I can go too and pretend to be ok.

Yes. You HAVE to get up, dress up and show up-if the roof over your head depends on it.

This exactly! I have no choice.

OP, go back to your GP. Try a different medication and stick with it if it works for you.

Thank you for all of your replies. I don't get how I can muster the energy to go to the gym and do housework but seem to have lost all part of my emotional and social identity.

I am thinking now though that these activities simply form part of a routine which is my safety net.

Are you struggling then, op ?

Everybody is different. Some people cannot cope with their employment, some clearly use it to just keep their hrads above water

I think I am in the second camp

Yes.
I think a lot of people have no choice. And I think it helps a lot of people to have something else to focus on. I've suffered with depression on & off for over 20 years. 3 years ago I had a breakdown & stayed off work for 8 weeks. My doctor encouraged me not to have too long off as she thought it was making me worse. I had a gradual return to work, & being back did help my recovery. I'm going through a bad period right now but I drag myself in every day & no-one at work would be any the wiser.
I know sometimes people find their depression so debilitating they cant get out of bed....but just because it's not like that does mean it's not real depression.

Yes you can.

Ah just seen your update OP, sorry you're suffering. Be gentle with yourself

I think it also depends a lot on how your symptoms manifest - I get a fair amount of depersonalisation and derealisation which can be hard to cope with but, on the plus side, can make working easier as I am totally disconnected and feel like I'm playing a part.

yes I am anyfucker, I have posted further up with more details, I can't believe how many people have posted so quickly. Thank you all and I am sorry to hear that so many of you are going through it.

When my ex left my already bad depression was crippling. I quit my job as a childminder and went to work in retail. I did the bare minimum to claim working tax credit of 16 hours a week. And I cried literally from leaving work on the Thursday afternoon solidly until I turned up again Monday morning. Even often crying for the full 14 miles drive to work. My face was permanently so swollen from crying they wouldn't have noticed the difference. Just probably thought that was my norm! But I used to get customers commenting on happy I seemed in my work and how refreshing it was to be served by someone who loved their job. When I left I wrote a card and bought a box of donuts. I said 'thank you for being a welcome distraction to the shit shower that is my life, I'll genuinely miss you all, and you'll never know how much you all helped me through the worst time of my life'.

If you're struggling OP then ask for help. Don't think that because you can get up and go to work everyday that you don't need it or it's not bad enough.

If it's someone else you're questioning, don't assume that because they're working they're not struggling every second of it.

Aww, I am sorry op.

Be kind to yourself and make sure that you are accessing all the support available to you

I would be very surprised if anyone didn't suffer from depression at some time in their life, in its milder incarnations it's inevitable.

Yes. Though considered by some to be unreliable/flaky, though not professionally.

applecidervinegar I just read your reply and burst into tears - that isn't normal is it??

I just don't want to go on medication again because of the side effects and I'm so pissed off because my diet, sleep etc is all in place. I take vitamins, I work out - I thought this would keep it at bay.

Me.

Pp is right though. Eventually you break. Right now, I am falling to pieces and in years at the thought of going in tomorrow.

I am going to ask for a weeks emergency leave. My best friend is off week next week and suggested me and the kids stay with her. Thinks it will do me the world of good.

You could try something like St Johns wort op instead for a bit maybe. It helped me when I came off prozac.

I am also wondering whether my crying spells are due to me coming off Prozac - but, it has been several weeks and I was on a low dose. I guess I am also worried about withdrawal if I go back on an AD.