To ask if you can suffer from depression and anxiety despite holding down a job and appearing largely ok?

[fortunatelynot]

Genuinely interested in experiences...can it truly be depression or anxiety when you are still functioning pretty well?

For the people working do you have any tips for making it work- part time / full time, having a job which does not take over your life perhaps?

It was the taking over everything and responsibility of teaching which broke me. I would maybe prefer something I could leave behind at the end of the day.

Yes. I even know some depressed people who say they go to the other extreme when depressed i.e. appear to be larger than life. Another friend who says she seeks out excitement when an episode is coming on so she'd probably also appear to be the opposite of depressed.

I think some of us build a kind of infrastructure for ourselves which we use to prop ourselves up, so the working, the chit chat at the school gates, the day to day getting the bread from the shop type thing. I was back at work with all 3 dc after 6 months mat leave and crippling PND. No one at work would have known, I was being promoted all over the place but the minute I walked back into the home I was in pieces. Maybe because it's a safe place.

I now have "just" general depression and have twice recently had what used to be called nervous breakdowns and again my work carries on as ever, the play dates happen, the kids get their vaccinations, the dinner is made etc, it's after everyone's in bed that it hits, or early on a weekend day when I can't quite compute how I'm going to get from that point to bed time .

some depressed people who say they go to the other extreme when depressed i.e. appear to be larger than life. Bipolar perhaps?

Yep. Because you have to.

Yes a routine is meant to be good for depression isn't it, so like that I suppose.

I'm bloody brilliant at routines.

Actually, I do sometimes laugh at work as well although it is stressful.

I just feel so weird in any of my close relationships.

Yes and nobody other than my immediate family are any the wiser.

Yes. I hold down a full time job because I have to. There is no other choice, I have to work or I have nowhere to live. Truthfully I would probably benefit from a stay in hospital but I cannot afford to be off work as I work in commission based work. It's very hard because I won't get any help unless they know I need it but if I let them know exactly how bad things are, I will get sectioned, probably lose my flat due to not earning. So I have to mask it all extremely well. I've gotten very good at doing makeup in my car mirror after a breakdown.

I think it depends on how bad it is and how it affects you. I've had it and I couldn't think straight, couldn't remember anything at all, was very angry all the time and kept getting into arguments at work.Also I didn't give a tiddly toss about anything because I was too far gone at this point.
I wouldn't take tablets and didn't see the point of counselling. It was my job that caused the depression because I hated it and begrudged every minute spent there. I feel lucky to be here really and I'd say get help OP before things get really bad.

Yes. I've suffered from depression for years. I've had suicidal thoughts many times. And I've felt guilty because Ive no reason to be depressed - lovely dh, kids are sorted, we have no money or health worries etc.

I've never missed work because of it, and socially I'm bright and chatty. It's all an act. I think my friends would be really shocked if they knew how I really felt.

2 years ago I was so depressed and suicidal that I eventually went to the GP and since then have taken Citalopram which has really helped.

Please do go and talk to your GP.

Yes I've been doing it on and off ( the illness) for 10 years or so. Who are you are this person appearing ok to?

Sorry posted too soon... You can appear fine to even your partner let alone colleagues and friends.

BuildBuildings - it is me, I have posted since with more info.

thesnapandfartisinfallible - I am so sorry to hear of your experiences.

Can I ask - has anybody found anything else useful for depression that are not ADs?

It may be worth trying a tricyclic antidepressant rather than those in the SSRI / hybrid family? DH is a GP and a number of his patients have found amitriptyline helpful at low dose (and others haven't - I think it's a matter of trying and seeing what works for you). Obviously you might not want to be medicated at all and that's fine too!

I started a thread the other day about coming off Prozac, I was only on 20mg but got horrendously vivid and traumatic dreams so ive stopped taking at as of Tuesday last week.
Getting concern grief from family who don't agree with my actions, which isn't helping at all! Be kind to yourself OP

I’m very good at hiding my anxiety. Even my partner who I live with often doesn’t know when I’m feeling horrendous (which is 90% of the time) as I’ve learnt to put on a front. I feel drained all the time having to act normal around everyone

Yes and eventually it cost me my professional career. However I’m currently in a different job and the difference is amazing. I’m coming up to a year medication free (I was on the max citalopram), I had a wonderful counsellor for a short time and that helped. I still have down days and I find weekends and holidays more difficult as they lack structure. It’s an ongoing battle but I’m better at identifying when I’m heading down the black hole and I’m better at self care.

I have no answers other than; you are not alone, it is not some kind of character flaw.

Sorry, cross-posted ... ignore my suggestion if you don't want ADs!

Yes

Mindfulness practice is proven to help with depression and anxiety as well as helping people cope with chronic or severe physical illnesses. It’s now recommend by the NHS and in some places you can be referred to it by your GP. There are also ways of accessing it via books, apps, YouTube videos etc. as well as face to face courses or coaching.

Here’s the NHS information: www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mindfulness/

This book is good and comes with a CD of guided meditations: www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X/ref=sr_1_1?s=gateway&crid=3OLTJRC3II8TB&keywords=mindfulness+a+practical+guide+to+finding+peace+in+a+frantic+world&sprefix=Mindfulness%2Caps%2C148&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1557679527&sr=8-1

I did for ten years. It took its toll though.

Yes!
I have complex PTSD, servere anxiety and depression. My symptoms can get really bad. Hot and cold sweats, Itchy red patches on palms, pins and needles, eye twitching, rapid heart rate and exhaustion. I work a full time job, am a full time student and have 4 children. I have to keep going because if I stop it gets worse. My sleep pattern is awful and my hormones are even worse. I'm an expert at putting on a front and don't show it to most people. Its absolutely possible.
I used to take medication, but it made me feel like a zombie so had to stop and now try to manage it solo. It's hard work! Really hard work.

Thank you onlypostinemergencies

I will take a look.

I am not against ADs as such but just worry about side effects.

Yes
Not a soul knows what I am struggling with. An entirely silent battle which gets harder every day. The constant pretense of normality is exhausting.