To think husband could be a bit more husbandly?

[ilovemycatmorethanyou]

This is a little lighthearted so please don’t let’s go all LTB 😂

Name changed as it could be a bit outing.

DH and I went out last night for a meal and drinks with friends, we don’t go out very often, maybe once a month.

When we arrived he bought me a drink and we sat down at the table. We weren’t in a round with anyone and the other girls husbands were going up to the bar to buy their drinks. My glass had been empty for a while so I got up to buy myself a drink, asked if he wanted one but he didn’t.

We have independent finances, always have had.

AIBU to wonder why I’m the only female getting up to buy her own drink? I felt a bit peeved by it.

Am I being a princess?

Did you buy him a drink? Do you have mobility issues that prevent you from safely going to the bar and bringing a drink back?

A little bit princessy- I’d have probably nudged DH to get me one if it was his turn.

However he earns double what I do so often pays for the meal, and I’d buy a couple of drinks after.

The other couples may share finances so didn’t really matter who went up to order.

Or was the issue that you didn’t physically want to go up to the bar?

I offered him a drink but he turned it down. He got up about ten mins later to buy himself and his mate a drink. No mobility issues.

The only people at the bar were men. No women were getting up. I just thought it would be nice for him to do the same.

Sound like Hyacinth Bucket waiting for Richard to open the car door. Buy your own drink!

Then YABAPrincess

It's not very gentlemanly.

I never go to the bar if I am with my dh, you don't buy a dog and then bark yourself.

TBH in this situation DH would buy me one and if he didn’t I’d ask him to.
On holiday and often on evenings out too I don’t carry money/ card. DH pays on the joint account.
Fully admit to being a princess though

I don't see what's wrong with going to the bar and buying your own drink

I’m a fully paid up feminist but no way would I go to the bar when DH is there!

If I’m out without him, I’m on first name terms with the barman but when with him he does the fetching. It wouldn’t occur to him (or me) any other way.

I’m a fully paid up feminist but no way would I go to the bar when DH is there!

Would you trip over his penis? What an odd attitude. I get served quicker than DH because I have sharp elbows!

I don't understand being married, an actual contract, and having separate money. So what do I know?

Do the other couples have joint finances? We do, so usually DH goes to get them but it makes no material difference who actually goes and we both pay.

This is like a whole new world to me.

Why wouldn't people go to the bar themselves? It's never even occurred to me that DP should go to the bar over me. We just take turns. Or whoever is getting up goes. It's really weird, what makes a bar so special that you can't go yourself?

I can't understand anyone claiming to be a feminist who has her husband going to the bar as a matter of course. Do you lose the use of your legs when he's there?

I wouldn’t buy my own drink if I was out with my ex or on any other sort of date.

There’s loads of good reasons to have separate finances, even when married!! I don’t understand the attitude that just because you’re married you should give up all financial independence, but what would I know.

I’m just off to adjust my tiara.

I'm with the tiara wearers.👑

I don't understand married couples without shared finance, but whatever works for you.

DH tend to drink faster than me, so order more often than me and would always ask me, but if I want something and can't be bothered to get up, I would just ask him. Why didn't you?

Quite a few unwilling to get up and expecting men to dance attendance on them then. Obviously possession of a vagina means you have an entitlement to table service.

I am really struggling to understand this. When you arrived your DH bought you a drink? You wanted another one and he didn't and yet you expect him to go and get you another one?

Would you trip over his penis? brilliant. 🤣

I’m a 51yr old woman and it would never have occurred to me that my DH was to fetch my drinks. It was a case of, if he or I were finished our drink, we’d nip up, get a drink for ourself and our other half. 🤷‍♀️ I’m more surprised that there were so many women in the same group that were incapable of getting their own drink.

I'm no princess and I don't spend much time in pubs but if I did, I would expect my partner to go up to the bar for both of us, not leave me there with an empty glass.

It's not about 'tripping over his penis', what an odd thing to say? It's about being treated as the partner I am/he is.

I get you OP.

Eh? Women don't go to the bar when there's a suitable man present? Since when??

It's 2019. Get your own drink, buy your own flowers, open your own doors and tell him what you actually want.