To think husband could be a bit more husbandly?

[ilovemycatmorethanyou]

This is a little lighthearted so please don’t let’s go all LTB 😂

Name changed as it could be a bit outing.

DH and I went out last night for a meal and drinks with friends, we don’t go out very often, maybe once a month.

When we arrived he bought me a drink and we sat down at the table. We weren’t in a round with anyone and the other girls husbands were going up to the bar to buy their drinks. My glass had been empty for a while so I got up to buy myself a drink, asked if he wanted one but he didn’t.

We have independent finances, always have had.

AIBU to wonder why I’m the only female getting up to buy her own drink? I felt a bit peeved by it.

Am I being a princess?

LipstickHandbagCoffee
you posts don't come across as written by a happy person. Your tone is very bitter and resentful, and very angry.

No one really cares how you split your pennies, your system is quite farcical but affects no one else. You obviously feel the need to be very angry and unpleasant towards others who live differently, doesn't sound like it's working that well for you. why are so angry if you are so happy?

I've seen lipstick comment on lots of posts and she definitely doesn't come across as bitter, resentful or angry. Just clear on what she feels is acceptable for her situation.

I think if you were truly happy and content about your finances then you would feel no need to be so disparaging and angry about other people's finances or lifestyle. You would just metaphorically smile and nod, secure in the knowledge that what you have is right for you.

So, to prove my point I'm going to smile and nod at you from now on, and wish you well on the rest of the thread

Pamela,you’re trying to be provocative.im not rising to obvious goading
How I manage my finances,and settle bills isn’t a conundrum.nor is it farcical

I go invisible when I go to the bar.

Irate, ranty feminists are just so tiresome. If I never lifted a heavy bag, or went to the bar, or changed a flat tire (which I know how to do, by the way), or changed a fuse, or never earned a single penny more, ever again, I would still consider myself the equal of any man

Cognitive dissonance. You don't want to recognise that it being thought a woman shouldn't go to the bar comes from the same place as thinking it's acceptable for women to earn less. It's all rooted in sexism but some of those sexist traditions suit you.

I don't know a woman who wouldn't consider herself the equal of any man. The fight is to get men consider any woman his equal.

By categorising other women as irate ranty and making feminist a pejorative term you’re severely missing the point

We are the beneficiary of other women getting irate,campaigning and getting legislative change

Irate and Ranty is what someone about gets about an inconvenience of no lasting consequence. Don’t associate irate and ranty with a legitimate ideological purpose

Wanting your heavy bag carried, wanting a man to go to a busy bar it maintains and reinforces a lil lady stereotype

And unwittingly sets up other women as irate ranty when they don’t their bag carried, or a man to buy their beverages ata busy bar

Coming back late to this but somewhere up thread it was asked why women wanted the men to get the drinks in. Obviously being lazy could be the answer but actually I do feel a bit uncomfortable there .... there are often mildly leery men and I'd prefer to avoid them. Anyway, it's not that I don't offer to do it, but if someone else (and that will always be a man) says, oh no let me, I'm not going to refuse them.

Ooh I love dealing with the leery ones

There are leery men everywhere.....don't let them stop you going about your normal life!

In a pub relatively local to me there are a group of leery men who position themselves near the ladies toilets so you have no choice but to walk through them to get to the toilet.
It doesn't stop me going and if they do or say anything inappropriate they get told in no uncertain terms that it's unacceptable.

It seems clear by the fact your DH got up for a drink 10 mins later it's to do with finances. He maybe 'owed' his mate a drink and didn't want to ask you to buy him it to then 'owe' you two drinks?

My DH and I share money and who goes to the bar depends on who brought a method of payment. We went out the other night and DH just had his phone to pay so only he could go to the bar but sometimes it's me who brought my card out so I go.

I've had to really think about this one. DH and I have a combination of shared and 'separate' finances, though even the separate ones are viewed as shared in reality. Ultimately it will all be spent on, or left to our kids one way or another so doesn't matter. But the act of going to the bar in a pub would always be done by him I think - he's quite trad in some ways I guess.