To tell you all about my morning poo?

[myuncomfypoo]

Name change because ya know......

I am not bunged up or anything and eat loads of fibre, fruit and veg etc
But........
This morning I had the most uncomfortable 💩 in my life

I was sitting on the loo and I swear it was like birthing a baby just from the other area. It must have been (or felt like) twice the size of the opening.

I started pushing and thought to myself ' do I really want to push this sucker out?' It was hard and uncomfortable and wide ( auto correct wanted me to type unconstitutional 😂😂) but decided that it's better out than in. So I pushed away until it came it. It was huge with a bit of fresh blood. My word I hope that never happens again.
I can't mention this to dp or ds ( even though at 6 ds finds 💩 and anything to do with 💩 hilarious) as I want him to have good habits. He has already thought dd2 to say 'bum bum' and that's bad enough. I never have anything to post on AIBU so just thought id share this with all you nice people on MN 😉🙂
Thanks for reading.

Thank you for sharing

Is this a poo troll post

You should have had a coffee to help things forward.

Well done OP.

Sometimes they just come out sideways.

for your bumholey

I was constipated for ten says due to medication. I took movicol and it came out like a giant Easter egg,

Hello!

Just stopping by because (inevitably) we've had a few reports about this thread from people asking if this is our resident poo troll...

The answer is, nope, it isn't. The OP's a long-term member of the site and has indeed changed her username for this thread.

'Tis a shame it's lunchtime and this thread's going to keep on popping up in the Trending box, eh?

Were you asking for an epidural?

Let's be honest here, you can't beat a good poo

Let's be honest here, you can't beat a good poo

As they say there is nothing so over rated as a bad fuck and under rated as a good shit.

Congratulations OP. Was it a one flush job?

You are 🤮

That's a shite story...

Ooh.....did you have to use a poo knife??

I can't mention this to dp or ds

Yet you (wrongly) felt you could share it with MN. What an honour.

Have you ever considered a diary, instead of the internet? Who knows, you could be the new Bridget Jones, only instead of talking shite you’re just taking them.

There's a resident poo troll? 🤔🤔

It just goes like that sometimes. Bet you feel a bit lighter on your feet now .

I have never been so happy as the moment just now when I realised that there's a poo troll on MN. Happy days!

OP you need to drink more water. Constipation and massive poos are often easily resolved by 4 litres of water.

Is it still sore OP? Sometimes straining can cause a fissure which is really painful - if so I would get some lactulose or DulcoEase to help with the next few!

I only clicked on this to say POO TROLL but apparently you aren't...AIBU to really want OP to have a NC fail in the style of UCM?

MN has a poo troll!?!? 😯

DoneLikeAKipper and yet you felt you had to both read and comment.

If it wasn't a ghost poo then I am not interested.

Big poo that vanishes....there is your headline.

There's a poo troll (not op) on Mumsnet??

The mind boggles!

LAXIDO is your friend OP!