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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell you all about my morning poo?

135 replies

myuncomfypoo · 08/05/2019 12:34

Name change because ya know......

I am not bunged up or anything and eat loads of fibre, fruit and veg etc
But........
This morning I had the most uncomfortable 💩 in my life

I was sitting on the loo and I swear it was like birthing a baby just from the other area. It must have been (or felt like) twice the size of the opening.

I started pushing and thought to myself ' do I really want to push this sucker out?' It was hard and uncomfortable and wide ( auto correct wanted me to type unconstitutional 😂😂) but decided that it's better out than in. So I pushed away until it came it. It was huge with a bit of fresh blood. My word I hope that never happens again.
I can't mention this to dp or ds ( even though at 6 ds finds 💩 and anything to do with 💩 hilarious) as I want him to have good habits. He has already thought dd2 to say 'bum bum' and that's bad enough. I never have anything to post on AIBU so just thought id share this with all you nice people on MN 😉🙂
Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 08/05/2019 14:38

I feel ya OP. I did one a few years ago after 18 hours of plane travel, it was the size of 2 of those old fashioned cans on shaving foam, stacked on top of each other. I actually went blind for a moment after squeezing it out. Grin

Persimmonn · 08/05/2019 14:38

Hmm. Well, I hope you don’t have an anal fissure now. But thanks for sharing.

SkintAsASkintThing · 08/05/2019 14:41

I had a corker this morning too.........swear to god my arse trap felt baggy afterwards. Feel so much better for it, even my three day headache has finally lifted Hmm

Bunbunbunny · 08/05/2019 14:42

Just get a squatty potty and keep a note of any future breeding

BossyPurples · 08/05/2019 14:48

My husband had one of those the other day. Could hear him struggling from the other end of the house. 😂

MargotLovedTom1 · 08/05/2019 14:49

"Went blind for a moment..." 😂

QueenOfTheTofuTree · 08/05/2019 14:51

That's a lovely story OP Smile.

mimibunz · 08/05/2019 14:53

Just because it’s not from the resident poo troll doesn’t mean it can’t be taken down. Confused

73kittycat73 · 08/05/2019 14:57

Flowers for your bumholey

Lol! Grin
Hope you're recovering nicely Op. Grin

skybluee · 08/05/2019 15:07

i often have ones like this, they're like diet coke cans. i hate it. nothing i try works at all. people say movicol but the long term effects of that are not great - it's linked to neuropsychiatric events for a start and long term is horrible for you. i try more fruit, veg, fibre - that makes it worse. GP said low fibre. they just consolidate into massive clumps and i don't know how to cure it as it's been like this for years and is truly horrible. it seems to go opposite to a lot of the advice online. the only thing that seemed to make a good difference was more salt. i never used to put salt on anything - think a salt pot lasting 8 yrs. i guess salt draws water into things so maybe it was that, i don't know.

if it was bleeding i'd make sure you have a shower with some fragrance free body wash and keep it dry. sorry you had the poo from hell.

a bit worried about the mention of 'poo knife'... Shock

fblake · 08/05/2019 15:09

Careful you don't get piles! I've been there, not pleasant ☹️

Notsoaccidentproneanymore · 08/05/2019 15:11

I get this sometimes if I’ve drunk a few ‘real’ coffees and loads of green veg (not at the same time).

It always makes me feel a bit weird for a few minutes afterwards too.

DoneLikeAKipper · 08/05/2019 15:14

@Ginger1982, firstly I’m not sure why you’re being so curt with me, it’s not my bowel movements being described in great detail. Secondly, as with about 90% of this thread I assumed it was the poo troll. I wanted to see what variation of their story they had before I reported. Evidently, I was wrong on that count.

Don’t be so arsey dear Wink.

Porridgeprincess · 08/05/2019 15:14

I have never experienced anything like the pooing when pregnant. Good lord above, it is lucky I trapped my man before he knew what I was capable of !

EyeDrops · 08/05/2019 15:24

Happened to me once. Twas enormous. Couldn't sit down for hours SadSad Massive pile resulted, was sore for weeks.

I now take great pains to avoid anything similar happening again!!!

bibbitybobbityyhat · 08/05/2019 15:37

Yabu.

SummerHouse · 08/05/2019 15:45

Was it a natural delivery?

mouldyhousemouldylife · 08/05/2019 15:46

Ok thanks, nice.

InTheEndgameNow · 08/05/2019 15:48

Congratulations! Have you decided on a name?

Onescaredmuma · 08/05/2019 16:18

I'm really sorry for your pain op but you and some of your replies have given me a laugh on a truly shite day thanks Grin

TessieVanKendre · 08/05/2019 16:18

Now go and weigh yourself. You'll be surprised 😂

Tinkerbellisnotafairy · 08/05/2019 16:21

Just be thankful it wasn't twins...

Morgan12 · 08/05/2019 16:21

Why couldn't you tell your DH though? He knows you shit.

ALongHardWinter · 08/05/2019 16:26

Were you asking for an epidural? Grin

LoopyLou1981 · 08/05/2019 16:26

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours
This happened to my toddler about a month into potty training (when all poos were inspected and high fives given!). He was beside himself that it had disappeared! 😭

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