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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell you all about my morning poo?

135 replies

myuncomfypoo · 08/05/2019 12:34

Name change because ya know......

I am not bunged up or anything and eat loads of fibre, fruit and veg etc
But........
This morning I had the most uncomfortable 💩 in my life

I was sitting on the loo and I swear it was like birthing a baby just from the other area. It must have been (or felt like) twice the size of the opening.

I started pushing and thought to myself ' do I really want to push this sucker out?' It was hard and uncomfortable and wide ( auto correct wanted me to type unconstitutional 😂😂) but decided that it's better out than in. So I pushed away until it came it. It was huge with a bit of fresh blood. My word I hope that never happens again.
I can't mention this to dp or ds ( even though at 6 ds finds 💩 and anything to do with 💩 hilarious) as I want him to have good habits. He has already thought dd2 to say 'bum bum' and that's bad enough. I never have anything to post on AIBU so just thought id share this with all you nice people on MN 😉🙂
Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
ilovebronn · 08/05/2019 16:34

Oooo there is nothing like a good clear out that makes you feel a stone lighter !

StuckInsideAnEcho · 08/05/2019 17:32

If I was to actually make posts about the stuff in my life, I'd be labelled a troll ten times over.

Original poster
myuncomfypoo · 09/05/2019 17:17

The struggle is real and today it continues. It's like trying to pass a load of fused together gravel.

The Greggs sausage roll and chilli cheese bake for lunch probably didn't help .

Beans and salad for dinner today Smile

OP posts:
LakieLady · 09/05/2019 17:24

Feel so much better for it, even my three day headache has finally lifted hmm

I wonder if that's why I have a headache that just won't go away? I've been having a couple of codeine most days and my poos are like bunny droppings. Strong coffee and a fag first thing tomorrow, that should sort it.

Who'd've thought your arse and your head were so closely connected?

NameChangeNugget · 09/05/2019 17:28

Thanks for the update OP.

I’ve got Gravel Pit by The Wu-Tang Clan stuck in my head now Grin

LakieLady · 09/05/2019 17:29

Do you like real ale, OP? That has a laxative effect.

In the days when I could have a "proper" drink, the morning after a few pints, my morning dump was like a flock of starlings taking off.

Sadly, my tolerance for alcohol seemed to disappear at menopause, so all it would do now is give me a 48 hour migraine.

DulcieRay · 09/05/2019 18:02

Dried figs, lactulose, strong coffee and lots of water, plus a long walk. That should see you reet in future. HTH

myumcomfypoo · 10/05/2019 18:15

@Dotty1970 yes but I like to poke fun at myself . At least I'm not poking the 💩 though 😂😂😂😂

myumcomfypoo · 10/05/2019 18:18

@19lottie82 lol is nice to speak to a kindred spirit

myumcomfypoo · 10/05/2019 18:19

@mimibunz now why would you take down my 💩 story? It's funny 😁 I like poking fun at myself, but I don't poke the 💩 lol

myumcomfypoo · 10/05/2019 18:20

What is a poo knife?

CarcerDun · 10/05/2019 18:31

Poo knife was used by a poster to cut up poo so that it could flush down properly....

myumcomfypoo · 10/05/2019 18:36

@skybluee I feel your pain . I was on some pretty hardcore medication a few years ago and could not crap 💩 to save my life. Damn that was rough. Prune juice helped a lot though

myumcomfypoo · 10/05/2019 18:38

@JoMumsnet sorry about your lunch hour. I did not know there is a mn 💩 troll GrinGrin

myumcomfypoo · 10/05/2019 18:39

@DoneLikeAKipper 😂😂😂😂💩💩💩💩😂😂😂😂😂💩 damn that made me laugh. I've never watched Bridget Jones diary

myumcomfypoo · 10/05/2019 18:40

@InTheEndgameNow floatey mcfloat face sounds good 👍

myumcomfypoo · 10/05/2019 18:45

@Onescaredmuma you're welcome 😉

myumcomfypoo · 10/05/2019 18:46

@SummerHouse completely natural. No epidural/laxative needed

myumcomfypoo · 10/05/2019 18:48

@LakieLady nah, can't afford booze . But if I could I'm a vodka lady at heart 💓 😉

myumcomfypoo · 10/05/2019 18:52

I should take a leaf out of littlest dds book and eat my weight in blueberries. But that would give me dark blue 💩.

GreyGardens88 · 10/05/2019 18:54

This happened to me once a few years ago, the pain was unimaginable passing the stool and I must have been on the toilet 20 minutes passing it. I then looked in the toilet bowl and it was like a cube, must have been 3 inches wide, along with a small amount of fresh blood. So strange Confused

MaddieElla · 10/05/2019 18:56

My 12 year old described hers just as you have. She was shaking afterwards. Grin

But I've had to play her with everything to soften the blow for next time. Poor thing.

IkickedtheBigC · 10/05/2019 19:00

Try having your first pooh a week after half your colon was whipped out and the ends re-joined. You darent push or strain but you need to get it out.
Absolute torture.

Looobyloo · 10/05/2019 19:01

Mine are bloody huge sometimes! I've even taken a photo then realised noone would want to see it. I did think about showing the doctor Hmm

DuffBeer · 10/05/2019 19:09

My husband did the most enormous turd yesterday and the buggered off to work until midnight.

I found it when I came back from work and despite repeatedly flushing the loo, it was going nowhere.

This morning I insisted he cut it up with a knife. Still took a few good flushes to get rid of the bigger though.