DP angry because I looked attractive last night

[ThisIsCheese]

Not stealth boasting, this is genuinely what happened.
We went out last night, I made an effort and I’ll be honest I think I looked nice. Nice make up, my hair had gone just how I wanted it to, new outfit etc.
Met up with DP’s friends and there were a few couples I’d not met before. I’m 12 years younger than DP and there were a few jokey remarks of “you’ve done ok for yourself mate”.
Anyway we were having a lovely night until we were in one bar, the men had gone to get the drinks and I was approached by two men who were a bit drunk and were trying to chat me up. I didn’t respond and said I was there with my partner, I was stood with two of my DP’s friend’s wives who were finding this hilarious because they were using cheesy lines and trying to buy us all drinks. I laughed it off and carried on with my night.
Later on in another bar another guy tried to talk to me whilst I was stood with DP, I said I was with him and he shook his hand and left.
DP then got furious with me, said I was courting the attention (not sure how? I was just fucking stood there?!) and said I go out acting “like candy”, he then called me a slag and left.
We haven’t spoken since. I’m ignoring his calls because I’m so hurt by his behaviour.
We’ve been together for 4 years, we’re engaged and I’ve never given him any reason to think I’m interested in anyone else.

For what it’s worth I was wearing a full length jumpsuit so I wasn’t dressed with everything on show or anything. Not that it should make any difference, I should be able to wear whatever the hell I want.

AIBU to think this is a massive red flag? He sent me a text saying he’s sick of it and it happens whenever we go out and he’s fed up of “my behaviour”.

What do I do now?! I’m ignoring him for now but I’m not sure I can move past this. He’s never been like this before but he’s obviously been judging me for a while if that’s how he feels

Yes, a massive red flag. That would be it for me. Glad that you've found out now before you've married him.

Sounds like he doesn’t trust you and wants you to be old and decrepit before your time. As he gets older, he will only get worse so I’d move on from him.

It’s a red flag. Your “behaviour”?! He is insecure about you simply existing. Get the hell out!

Tell him to fuck off and your relationship is over.

Sorry

Yeah, huge red flags. Don't marry him, whatever you do.

We’re still relatively young. I’m 31.
I still enjoy going out with friends and usually with DP too.
I honestly can’t think what I’m supposed to have done wrong other than have made an effort with the way I looked, which by the way I did because I wanted him to think I looked pretty.

He’s jealous and that is a red flag, IMHO.

Red flag. Once you are married, he will try to stop you going out at all. Then he will suspect you are sneaking out behind his back. Just don't go there.

Thank goodness he showed you his true colours before you married him!

Being called a slag would be enough for me to end the engagement. That must have been bloody horrible. He must be very insecure and that could be a prerequisite for being controlling if you stayed with him.

Do you feel happy to end the relationship?

You'll have no problem meeting someone new, just wear that jumpsuit!

I’ve have never given him any reason not to trust me. I’m a very loyal person and I love him very much

Bin! Please!

Do you feel happy to end the relationship?
No I’m utterly heartbroken

Dear God don't marry him

Yanbu! How awful. No, this is not acceptable behaviour from him. He should be proud that people admire his girlfriend, if anything.

Get rid. Man's an idiot.

Red flag, he is controlling and called you a slag which is a hideous word at the best of times.

You did nothing wrong.

Sounds like he is the sort of monster person who thinks women who get date raped are "asking for it". At the very least you need to have a serious think about your future with him and a big, honest conversation about his attitude.

Honestly I'd ditch him, I don't see how he would be able to change his opinions, if he even wants to. But I know that's easy for me to say when I'm not the one doing it!

I think I'd give him one chance to properly understand that the problem behaviour was that of the other men and not yours (because our society is rife with the myths that women do this to men on purpose and men can't help themselves - and you should give anyone to the chance to challenge their inbuilt prejudice before giving up on them) but if he can't/won't get it then just ditch.

I'd never want to be with someone who blamed men's bad behaviour on women.

I think you know the answer to this already.

Sorry to say, but yes - massive red flag.

If I were in your position, DH would have found it hilarious rather than act the way your fiance did.

Horrible behaviour. Cant believe he hasn't sent many grovelling messages this morn. Even then I would not be able to put up with that.

Be heartbroken for the relationship you thought you had, not the one you clearly do have. He's a jealous arse, and he will make your life hell.

I dont think I have ever said this on here. But please leave him. He is showing you who he really is, and later on he will blame the alcohol and say he is sorry but it will happen again and again until you dont go out anymore.

It will hurt like hell now as you love him, but you are strong and can and will do better.

You didn’t do anything wrong. Shocking behaviour on his part!

This will continue to happen, for your own future happiness please please get rid.

RUN RUNRUN! You can still get out of this. This is massive red flag fora propensity for abuse. You can bet your arse that if you have kids and become dependent on him/even worse become a SAHM and become financially dependent he will abuse his position. Just leave him immediately. Don’t even bother breaking up. Ghost him.