To try for a baby with partner of 3 months

[broody19]

I am 39.

Is this madness?

Erm... we didn’t even try but fell pregnant within four months! Five years on and baby number two due.

Do what you feel is right, but be aware that it may not go to plan.

I was very frank when I fell pregnant and offered him and out, but he was in and supportive. Said that if we didn’t work he’d still be there etc. I didn’t know him long, could have been spinning me a line, but I just went with the flow and took each day as it came.

Good luck.

If you’ve known them for years but have only just become partners then it’s different to having only met them 3 months ago.

Dh and I knew each other 5 years prior to commencing a relationship. We were colleagues, and I finally realised I loved him, thankfully feelings were mutual. We had a big talk about our future and how we both only wanted something serious, otherwise it would affect our jobs and we both wanted to start a family. we decided to try immediately for a family as it took my parents 5 years to conceive. We conceived pretty much straight away, all our family were a bit stunned by the speed of our relationship but we are still together 8 years later. I knew him well mind, I knew who he was, I sat next to him for years. However none of my family knew him and not many of my friends either and they were bit worried things would go wrong.

But no I wouldn’t advocate doing same with a perfect stranger you met only 3 months ago.

What does your partner feel?

If you’re both on the same page, and fully acknowledge the relationship might not last then why not?

We need mkre details about him and your relationship history. Im huessing you dont have children and are in a panic about time.

How would you manage as a single parent? Would you be able to share the child with someone you barely know

I would be worried that a man who wanted this actually wanted a woman trapped.

Hold out for marriage. Men respect you more for it.

Oooh also massively agree with @angrybird
Look at how many peoples relationships turn to shit after decades together because suddenly they do not know their partners behaviour. You cannot ever guarantee - but given yourself a good chance to find any massive red flags seems sensible when you’re talking about a child.

I'm 36 and have been with my partner for 4 years. I'm still giving it another 18 months before considering adding a baby to the mix.

If you broke up would it affect your desire to have the baby?

I think it depends a bit. How long have you known each other? For longer than you've dated or not? Do you have mutual friends? Does he or do you already have children? How would you feel raising the baby alone? Have you seen his credit file? (Yep I'm serious with that one.)

Yes sounds crazy but, I was only with my partner for 3 months and we got pregnant. Sort of on purpose we just knew. Nearly 11 years later we have now 4 beautiful children & happy as the first days, I'd say only you can make the decision 🥰

YAB so U. Having a baby is the hardest thing I ever did and I couldn't have done it unless I had 100% trust and faith in my husband which you cannot have at 3 months. This man is still a stranger to you.

“Hold out for marriage. Men respect you more for it.”

^ 🤮

Biggest load of bollocks I’ve read on MN and there’s been a lot!

mad but depends

1. is he onboard or if your trying for a baby stopping the pill without telling him?
2. are you prepared to bring to the child as a lone parent?

if he is on board and you are clear how to bring up the baby in case the relationship doesn't last then go for it. otherwise you would be completely unreasonable!

You literally have only scratched the surface of getting to know this person. Why on earth would you make a lifelong commitment to a complete stranger??

YABU and slightly insane.

Yep. Sorry but that's way too soon. I'm genuinely not being condescending (lm 39 and trying for a baby so l know you're feeling some urgency). How well do you really actually know each other? Yeah it may take time (lm currently trying for the 11th month in a row) or it may happen straightaway. No one knows. I knew my partner for a couple of years at work before we got together and still waited over 2 years before trying for a baby. Even though l was sure from quite early on

If you don't feel you know someone well enough to commit to marrying them, you certainly shouldn't have a baby with them.

Sounds bonkers. Have you discussed the nitty gritty? Ie his views on parenting roles / finances / his input and ideally had an std check?

Oh it will be so lovely to have a baby and share your Christmas traditions...oh that's right, you have no idea what they are, so you?

YAB extremely U.

A baby is a human being, not a doll or a fashion accessory, not even just a much wanted element in your life - no matter what your age. I think you know this, else you wouldn't be posting on MN.

Slow down. Get to know each other properly. Find out what he's like in January ffs before you even think about binding yourself to this man in the most decisive, lasting, profound way possible.

I know someone who had a baby with someone after 2 weeks.

They are still together now.
I

Hold out for marriage. Men respect you more for it.
😂😂😂😂😂

I’ve got to say the early days of our relationship getting to know each other as partners not colleagues, buying a home, getting pregnant, planning a small wedding whilst in that bubble of the early months of a relationship were just magical. We never had time to fall into a rut or let things drift.

Yes I think that would be crazy. Although your biological clock may be ticking,it would be reckless to deliberately try for a baby with a virtual stranger. Do you live together? Have joint finances? Do you have similar views on childrearing, childcare, marriage?

You would be better off looking st sperm banks because if you end up alone at least you wont have to give access to someone else, deal with child maintenance and defer to him if you want to move house or anything.

Madness. You barely know each other. Neither of you can be sure the other is the perfect person to co parent with after just twelve weeks.

If it will break your heart to never have children, and he’s ok with it, then go ahead. Many people end up single parents, either through design or bad luck. It’s hardly uncommon nowadays. There’s no guarantees you will get pregnant anyway tbh, so at least by trying you know you tried, iyswim? Many on here seem to have a meltdown if the father goes out for one day when they have a baby! But, in the real world, plenty of women manage fine alone.