What do you really think of people who are quiet?

[mouse5]

I am very quiet and have always received negative comments about it mainly from family.
Awkward/ disinterested/ gormless are some of the "nicer" things that have been said to me.

What do people really think about quiet people? Do you really think that it's awkward if we end up sitting next to you at a wedding? Do you think we're being rude because we aren't speaking much?

I'm a literal waste of space as a human

You're not, Goldilocks. I'd bet my bottom dollar there are things you could talk about (you say yourself you babble on when you do meet someone!)

I bet you're interested in films, or sport, or books, or art, or the news, or something that you could talk about and people could ask you about.

I nearly lost a job as new team leader put down I was quiet as appraisal. They and several other had to go and have serious talks with the manger to get me off the redundancy list.

Their view of quiet was I was competent - if they asked for something to be done it was, I didn’t like some argue about tasks like some, I got on with everyone even the difficult characters, I showed initiative and didn't expect a huge hoopla about that, I was approachable to newer employees and was unofficially mentoring them rather than more senior people having their time taken up.

I learnt from that I needed to make more noise about what I was doing.

Wow, I wonder why the introvert in Weary’s family doesn’t want to engage with her?

I tend to find many quiet people, one on one with a prompter and good listener .. will actually chat the ear off you. So I never believe anyone is truly quiet until I've spent a good bit of time one on one with them and found out what they're interested in.

I'm trying to think of examples that didn't turn out that way to see what I thought .. and I can't actually think of any.

I think sometimes quiet people can make others uncomfortable because the social platitudes, full the quiet/empty 'space' with chat doesn't happen easily or at all. It's part of our culture/development to communicate and be social to bond and make each feel comfortable socially, and when it doesn't happen many people feel tense and uncomfortable and perhaps dislike being around the person.

Of course one in one egotists and the self absorbed love quiet people!

*fill

My DH is a quiet introvert and often gets criticised for it at work appraisals etc. He says he needs to formulate his thoughts in his head before he speaks them out loud, but often by that time the conversation has moved on or someone else has started speaking. When he does speak, people are often very rude and talk over him, or ignore him and then make the same point a few minutes later and receive the credit for it. Its very frustrating for him.
I love him for it though. Because he thinks before he speaks, what he says is often quite well-thought-out and meaningful unlike me who spouts loads of inane drivel as I sort through my thoughts by saying all of them out loud
He's incredibly clever, funny, and well-read, with excellent problem-solving skills, and gives very perceptive, on-point compliments about aspects of your personality that most people haven't taken the time to notice because they're too busy talking But many people will never know that about him because they write him off as "shy" or "boring" or "hard work".
IME it's so worth putting the effort into getting to know an introvert. As a talkative extrovert I really admire and envy the ability to listen well and filter your thoughts to distill the ones that are worth sharing.

I have met quiet people who give one-word answers and don't make any attempt to communicate but most quiet people will join in conversations.

I'm described as quiet but come across as approachable though people do seem shocked when I am assertive, always politely, and firm – I’ve come across a few people who think because I’m quiet that having those characteristics is odd.

Seriously this thread is a perfect example of how we all see the world through our own perspective. Quiet people feel picked on and that the world is against them and chatty people never get negative comments from others, I am chatty I have spent a lifetime being told how talkative I am (negatively meant) being made to feel like I annoy other people, and there is no difference in brain power, competency or kindness between quiet or loud people, some are some aren't. So rather than pit quiet against chatty how about we are all different and thank God for that, and we all have good and bad responses to our personalities, from others and we can all be thoughtful, intelligent and kind or not and it has nothing to do with how much we talk.

Excuse the errant commas hope it makes sense