MIL demanding to have 3 month old overnight

[ClareSleepy]

Please help me reason with DH my MIL has set up her home like a nursery and has been pressuring to have DD at her place overnight practically since she was born. DH is manipulated by her and always tells me he feels so sorry for her. I've told MIL she can visit us and see her granddaughter whenever she likes but she whinges to DH and plays the victim that she can't have DD overnight at her place. I'm made out to be the villain for saying no and DH and I have just argued again about it it's getting me so down. What can I say to make them both back off?

buy her a dolly! she wants to play mummy.

You are the mum.
You know what’s best for your baby.

If my DH would pressure me over this, we would have a very serious talk.

Tell em to fuck of?
Why do people (mainly other women) feel the need to have to take others kids overnight without their mothers??
Tell DH she can have the baby overnight when you’ve divorced and it’s his night to have the baby.
Daft bastards.

To quote a mumsnet classic
“No” is a complete sentence. Don’t try and reason with them just say it’s not happening. And don’t give reasons or engage in any discussion about it.

Tell them you are not ready for overnight visits and this discussion is over. You have very big problems with your husband, I'm afraid. The fact that he sides with his mother over his wife and bullies you does not bode well.

Ffs. What is wrong with all these women???

When will you be happy to let MIL have your DD overnight?

Can you compromise and allow a stay of a few hours during the day for now? The goodwill of your family can go a long way. It would be worth keeping them on side rather than falling out, if you can.

Remldn dh she had her time to have a baby and now you intent to enjoy yours!!
Ask him if he would be happy thinking your dd would be crying for her dps and they aren't there!! Is he happy to prioritise his dm's happiness over the baby's?
My dc weren't out of my sight for about a year, and certainly never had bloody sleepovers!!

No way. Didn’t leave my DS until he was over 2 and was never pressured. If she wants to use the nursery tell her you’d all love to come and stay as a family.

Tell her no. She had her chance to have babies. And tell your husband to man the fuck up.

Who does your dh think he is pressuring you to leave your tiny baby overnight.
Why does his mother trump you?
This is your baby not hers, she has had her turn.

I would be furious if I were. Set your dh straight about this and dont ever feel guilty. She has no respect for you as a mother to even ask this let alone harass you.

Presumably you are still breast feeding anyway so it's not even a valid discussion. Your DH needs to give his head a shake.
Buy her a reborn doll?

Does your husband genuinely think you are being unreasonable or is he just trying to appease his Mum?

“I am sorry, I don’t want that to happen. When she’s older, maybe, but for the moment, it’s no.”

Don’t burn your bridges-in 6-9 months you night like a night off

Just say no it’s not happening. I would never allowed any of my babies to go away overnight so young. My youngest child is 2 years 7 months and has stayed with my mum twice. My 7 year old has maybe stayed 7 times in total including 3 nights I was in hospital giving birth to his sibling. I totally trust my mum but do not want my kids away overnight.

You can either tell her to fuck off and dh that you're going to go off him if he doesn't grow a spine..

Or you can ask her how she would have felt to be seperated at 3 months and that you think it might cause PND or something.

I'd personally go with option 1 but you might want to keep your MiL around.

Presumably you are still breast feeding anyway so it's not even a valid discussion.

My husband genuinely hunks I'm unreasonable as he often "feels sorry" for his mum. I'm getting to the end of my rope with the pair of them.

She is craving that maternal bond. She thinks she can get it by having your DC without you there.

You feel threatened by her. Your DC will be fine either way (unless you EBF). Your MIL is being unreasonable.

Just stand firm. Let her nursery go unused. But manage the relationship: all being otherwise well, your DC should benefit from a relationship with a loving DGM. The time will come when you might like to have DGM babysit.

Just go slowly and keep repeating that it’ll happen when you and DC are both ready. Unfortunately this is part of your job as a mother because you have a MIL (it’s also your DH’s job as a husband and father and son, but he sounds a bit like a wet lettuce).

I keep saying "when she's older" but they won't let it lie.

WTF, my DS hasn't stayed overnight anywhere yet and he's 6.

Ultimately your problem is your DH not your MIL. She's only being a pain in the arse like this because he lets her. He needs to figure out if he's a married a man or a little boy still attached to his mummy's apron strings.

I’d politely suggest that she’s too young at the moment and you will send her when she is older.

As mentioned above you way want a night off in 6-9 months and would benefit from the support.

Yep, buy her one of those baby born lifelike dollies.
Tell your husband to grow up.

His mum is not the baby's mum. Telling DH you're not comfortable leaving your baby anywhere overnight should be enough to silence him. Have courage, if you don't make it clear what your boundaries are now then things will only get worse.

Tell her it's going to be at LEAST 2 years old before you'll even consider it so stop asking.

I always like to have another house where my kids could settle in as back up though in case I couldn't be around for a bit for whatever reason. 3 months is a bit young if you're not ready.

Get your bloke told.