MIL demanding to have 3 month old overnight

[ClareSleepy]

Please help me reason with DH my MIL has set up her home like a nursery and has been pressuring to have DD at her place overnight practically since she was born. DH is manipulated by her and always tells me he feels so sorry for her. I've told MIL she can visit us and see her granddaughter whenever she likes but she whinges to DH and plays the victim that she can't have DD overnight at her place. I'm made out to be the villain for saying no and DH and I have just argued again about it it's getting me so down. What can I say to make them both back off?

if she want a baby overnight let her to have your DH overnight...he's the big baby here.

^This

My MIL has never had my DC on her own, let alone over night, and this is one of the reasons why. She didn't have any respect for our wishes and thought she had some unspoken right to have my children when ever she demanded so. Baby has sleepovers when you're comfortable with it and not any time before! End of discussion!

Errrr you could give your 3mo to your mil overnight while you go on a date with your DH? Perfect opportunity she has a nursery set up for her which I think is lovely

Errrr you could give your 3mo to your mil overnight while you go on a date with your DH? Perfect opportunity she has a nursery set up for her which I think is lovely

I think the OP shouldn’t ignore her instincts which tell her to be next to her newborn baby, just because it’s possible for her to go On a date. When will we actually allow women to behave how they’re comfortable especially when they just ripped up their bodies and gave up their sleep and comfort for that little being.

I would have issues trusting a MIL that is pushing me beyond my comfort to accommodate her, as a very vulnerable time in my life. And if I don’t trust MIL, there is no way it’s fair to keep my baby with her even if I was even ready to do that with someone at all - unlikely at 3 months postpartum.

Hell I wasn’t even ready to leave my baby with DH for few hours until he was 9 months and until now, 15 months later, I still cannot part with my baby overnight..

I would accept suggestions that I need to get over my anxiety whatnot... but as far as I’m concerned, I’m the primary carer and no ones instincts comes before mine when it
Comes to my child.. so they better all realise that I’m him mum for a reason and not dismiss my comfort as a mother at the expense of their luxuries.

MIL does not come before mum and baby. She is important but the moment she elbows mum into babies life, that baby Needs her to step back. Babies need their mommas..

If MIL was suggesting baby stays without food for a whole night, that’s just as bad in my eyes as her suggesting baby stays without his mum for a whole night.. for absolutely no justifiable reason.

I think it's a bit like how grandparents can go to court for access, the sort of grandparent who would do that is 9/10 going to be the last sort of grandparent you'd want your child around. A grandparent who bullies a mother into an unwilling separation from her newborn is similar.

There's no way I would have been ready to hand my DS over for an overnight stay at 3 months.

I couldn't have done it anyway due to feeding but I wasn't ready till about the 6 month mark, everyone is different though.

She's set up a nursery at hers, that's nice but I'm sure you didn't ask her to. I also think it's a waste of money to do something like that for occasional sleepovers but that's just me. We find a travel cot and highchair shared between both sets of grandparents works perfectly fine.

I wasn’t ready for anyone to have mine overnight until around 6 months, 3 is very little!

Errrr you could give your 3mo to your mil overnight while you go on a date with your DH? Perfect opportunity she has a nursery set up for her which I think is lovely

Errr the OP doesn't want to though, setting up a nursery for occasional sleepovers it's bizarre and a waste of money.

OP is taking the change in her life and embracing it and doesn't want to date night or leave her baby. Fine for some but not for OP, she's entitled and right to say no!

She sounds a bit too keen and it's creepy.

I’ve let my mum have my babies overnight but not my mil. My mums wonderful with them, my mil wouldn’t be able to cope. It’s your choice entirely op.