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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have expected 'boyfriend' to not have made separate bills while at the bar

195 replies

msdjames · 02/05/2019 14:16

Went for lunch on break yesterday to a well known pub chain. I chose what I wanted (came to four pound). Gave the guy I've been seeing on and off for over a year ten pounds to cover my bill.

He came back and he'd made two separate orders. And then gave me my change.

We are currently not together due to personal issues that we are working on to make the relationship better. But he's says it's extremely serious and we will be together soon.

Me giving him the ten pound. And him using it means we are not at all serious imo. I'm not complaining at all btw. I just want to get a general consensus here. (Would work if the roles had been reversed too and I had been the one making separate bills)

OP posts:
Flobochin · 02/05/2019 14:17

Do you usually split bills?

DanielRicciardosSmile · 02/05/2019 14:19

Me giving him the ten pound. And him using it means we are not at all serious imo

Why did you give him £10 if you expected him not to use it?

IsYourGoogleBroken · 02/05/2019 14:20

I dont understand why paying for your own food means he isnt serious? (To be fair I am very old and antiquated)

Me giving him the ten pound. And him using it means we are not at all serious imo.

Did you expect him to hand the tenner back?

Expressedways · 02/05/2019 14:20

But you gave him £10?? That implies you are planning on paying for your own food. And you’re not serious, you’re not even currently together. Which I think is the actual issue not the bill and who pays for what.

Bluntness100 · 02/05/2019 14:20

I don't really understand, you're not together but will be soon and it's serious. Is that not like being a little bit pregnant.

You're either together or you're not. You're not. You cannot be serious and not together. That's simply tragic. So separate bills was fine.

Try to accept you're not in a relationship with this man. If that changes, then question separate payments.

joystir59 · 02/05/2019 14:20

Cannot make head or tail of this post sorry

Nicknacky · 02/05/2019 14:21

If you aren’t seeing each other then I wouldn’t expect him to buy you lunch.

WeShouldOpenABar · 02/05/2019 14:21

I think he made a point of saying he got separate bills to show he didn't use your tenner on himself ie he wasn't being a cf

Foxmuffin · 02/05/2019 14:21

Bit weird. But how else should he have used the £10 when it was more than the bill?

LEDadjacent · 02/05/2019 14:21

You were the one who made it seem like a ‘separate bills’ situation when you gave him the money for your order. Do you want it to be serious?

HBStowe · 02/05/2019 14:22

I don’t get the issue, sorry - did you give him £10 but expect him not to use it? Or were you trying to pay for his food too and feel rejected because he paid for his own?

HollowTalk · 02/05/2019 14:22

So yours came to £4. Let's say his came to £4, too. You gave him £10. Did he give you £2 back or £6?

AndOutComeTheBoobs · 02/05/2019 14:22

What did you actually expect him to do with it?

Famalamaringwrong · 02/05/2019 14:23

I think you have bigger issues than who paid for a Spoons lunch.

Original poster
msdjames · 02/05/2019 14:23

My point is we are not serious. I did expect him to use the ten pound hence why I gave it.

It's him that's claiming that we are serious. I just wanted proof they this is not in anyway going 'anywhere' at the moment. As I'm getting blamed for saying this.

Like you've all said. It's clearly very casual so you've made my point. Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
msdjames · 02/05/2019 14:24

Again. I'm not complaining he used my tenner. That's why I gave it! I don't think my post has really come off the way I wanted it too tbh.

But you have all confirmed what I wanted to say anyway.

OP posts:
Namechangedcositstime · 02/05/2019 14:24

Did you expect that £10 to be your contribution to both your lunches because you are a couple?

I agree it's weird to make 2 separate bills, did you question it at the time?

Jemima232 · 02/05/2019 14:24

In the name of God. What does this post even mean?

Bluntness100 · 02/05/2019 14:24

What do you mean casual. You're not in a relationship with him, it's neither casual or serious. There is no relarionship.

Honestly you both sound bonkers.

Nicknacky · 02/05/2019 14:24

I’m lost.....

DanielRicciardosSmile · 02/05/2019 14:24

How are you taking this as meaning you're serious or not? It seems a lot to extrapolate from buying separate meals at the pub.

BertrandRussell · 02/05/2019 14:25

Were you expecting to pay for his lunch too?

Original poster
msdjames · 02/05/2019 14:25

Yes exactly. It's the two separate bills thats the part where it shows we are extremely casual (which I'm happy with! He isn't)

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 02/05/2019 14:25

YABU, he's not your b/f, why would you expect him to pay for your lunch?

SilverySurfer · 02/05/2019 14:26

Why would you not pay for yourself, whatever the relationship? I bet he got separate bills so he knew how much change to give you.

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