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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have expected 'boyfriend' to not have made separate bills while at the bar

195 replies

msdjames · 02/05/2019 14:16

Went for lunch on break yesterday to a well known pub chain. I chose what I wanted (came to four pound). Gave the guy I've been seeing on and off for over a year ten pounds to cover my bill.

He came back and he'd made two separate orders. And then gave me my change.

We are currently not together due to personal issues that we are working on to make the relationship better. But he's says it's extremely serious and we will be together soon.

Me giving him the ten pound. And him using it means we are not at all serious imo. I'm not complaining at all btw. I just want to get a general consensus here. (Would work if the roles had been reversed too and I had been the one making separate bills)

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 02/05/2019 15:19

So you made it clear you didn't want any help or support from him financially

Then you went for lunch

He got seperate bills so it was clear who owed what/ possiy he could claim his

This is your proof that this is just a casual fling but he's still adament one day he'll agree to being in a relationship with you?

Ellisandra · 02/05/2019 15:24

The thing is, you’re not saying what these relationship blocking issues are. Which means I’m 100% certain that you know everyone would say - fuck that. You don’t want to be told that. Fine. But like I said - if the tenner thing is the sign for you, accept it - bin him off. Whoever is at fault or more at fault between you, it’s clearly not the right relationship for you.

Putthatlampshadeonyourhead · 02/05/2019 15:25

Ugh. I couldn't be with a guy who acted like this in a million years. Who wouldn't just cover the 4 quid for their partner, regardless of gender. Very unattractive.

They arent partners. And why didnt she just say 'get them both with that tenner'. Is she unattractive too?

LiverpoolVictoria · 02/05/2019 15:28

I'm still confused....

You gave him money to pay for your lunch.

He paid for your lunch with the money you gave him to pay for your lunch.

He then paid for his own lunch.

I don't get the problem?!

The fact you have told him you have financial problems just adds to why he didn't use your money to pay for his lunch?!

Did I get that right, or wrong, or right?!

Too early for gin.....? Gin

NCforthis2019 · 02/05/2019 15:29

jesus christ - are you 5 op?! why all the games? Decided to be in a relationship or not, either way - this is unhealthy for you both

Honeyroar · 02/05/2019 15:34

It all sounds very complicated and awkward - about as far away from a good, working, serious relationship as you can get. You're arguing about things before you've even officially got back together..

Meandwinealone · 02/05/2019 15:36

You sound fucking hard work. If I was him I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with you

I suggest growing up might be a good starting point

Mammajay · 02/05/2019 15:37

So if he'd got me bill and paid it and returned your tenner you'd be moaning too??

Meandwinealone · 02/05/2019 15:38

lunch came to £4

You’re prime Jeremy Kyle
Wink

RavenLG · 02/05/2019 15:39

Maybe he didn't want you to spend money on his food given this
I have some debt issues (not much) that he's found out about. And he wants to help pay. I said no thank you.

I know it's only a few pound but in his mind maybe he thought he was helping cut costs for you? (i.e. not spending money on his meal with the £10)

Reallyevilmuffin · 02/05/2019 15:41

You gave him enough clearly for yours only. If you wanted change 2 orders is the easiest way to get the correct change. Otherwise the next easiest thing would be him to pay both and pocket the tenner... YABU

Bluntness100 · 02/05/2019 15:43

This is the most contradictory thing I've ever read. Why are you talking about your future together if you're not in a relationship and you're not wanting one with him.

And why do you need proof it's casual? If you say it's casual, it's casual. You don't need his agreement. You don't need proof. And certainly not stupid things like who pays the bill.

You gave him a tenner to pay for your lunch. He did exactly that and gave you the change, it's completely normal Behaviour.

What's not normal is yours, it's all over the place. Your adamant he is the one who wants more when everything you write and want to guess at screams it's you.

lyralalala · 02/05/2019 15:47

So the fact he didn’t just assume it was ok to use your tenner for both meals is a sign that he’s not serious?

tbh i’d say it’s a sign he has manners. Especially given your debt problems.

happyandbusy · 02/05/2019 15:51

You didn't order a hotdog sandwich by any chance for lunch? Wink

NewMum19344567 · 02/05/2019 15:51

If I gave my husband £10 for my drink he'd prob spend it and pocket the change Blush

Lovemusic33 · 02/05/2019 15:52

I want to know where I can get lunch for £4 ?

You are overthinking thing, blowing it out of proportion. You need to relax a bit more or you will never make a relationship work.

Famalamaringwrong · 02/05/2019 15:54

Love music

Wetherspoons

Shoxfordian · 02/05/2019 15:55

I'm confused too.
Was he supposed to pay for his lunch as well? Did you say "I'll pay for your lunch". Its like one of those maths puzzles.

I don't think the sandwich has anything to do with how serious you are as a couple

goodwinter · 02/05/2019 15:57

OP, PLEASE TELL US, what did you want him to do with the £10?! This will haunt me for years.

What a confusing post!

Bluntness100 · 02/05/2019 15:59

It's just mind boggling. Why do you need proof he thinks it's casual when you are the one who wishes it to be casual.

Proper conundrum,. 🤣

SimonJT · 02/05/2019 16:00

You gave him £10 to pay for your food, he paid for it and gave you the change.

It has no reflection on whether or not a relationship is serious. Or are you suggesting that someone in a serious relationship is deserving of free food/drink.

MrsBailey2be · 02/05/2019 16:04

Maybe he wanted to pay on his card but didn't want his wife to see how much he'd spent in 'spoons Shock

Nickpan · 02/05/2019 16:04

so at the bar...he paid 2 bills? And gave you your change from your bill? Or he just worked out what your part was and bunged you a couple of quid change? How are you sure it was 2 bills, that's weird if, well, its just weird

Meandwinealone · 02/05/2019 16:05

WTAF costs £4

Meandwinealone · 02/05/2019 16:05

No drink???!!!

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