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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That a friend shouldnt do this?

213 replies

IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 30/04/2019 19:28

So I probably am being unreasonable.

But basically a few days ago, I told my friend I had found the car of my dreams but I couldn't afford it at the moment. She asked me what I wanted and what colour. I told her the colour choice was for a relatively sentimental reason.

She messaged me today to tell me shes bought a new car and us picking it up this evening. The car I told her I wanted, in the same colour.

I'm probably acting spoilt and bitchy but there was a reason behind my colour choice and I absolutely love the car.

What annoys me the most is the car wasnt even at the garage, she specifically went there and asked for that car in that colour.

It's not the first time shes done it, but it's always been with little things, not a bloody car.

She knows I've been feeling down lately and this has just stopped it all off.

OP posts:
isabellerossignol · 30/04/2019 20:47

You'll feel so liberated when you ditch her...

99ProblemsButAnItchAintOne · 30/04/2019 20:48

I would fuck with her for a bit. Say you want to buy certain awful clothes, a totally ugly haircut etc 😂😂😂😂

AWishForWingsThatWork · 30/04/2019 20:49

She's not your friend.

She sounds like the type who would get a dog and give it the baby hame you want to use if you told her what name you were going to use for your baby...

I'd step well away from her, tbh.

hotcrossbun99 · 30/04/2019 20:49

She'll be after your other half next! Xx

specterlitt · 30/04/2019 20:49

@IAmNotPatientOrPregnant You say "oh blimey, it really is the car I told you I wanted to get, and in the exact same colour - well I'd be damned. What made you choose the exact car I wanted so suddenly?"

Original poster
IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 30/04/2019 20:51

When her boyfriend left her she actually tried to convince me to leave my OH so we could be single together.

The more I think about the things shes done and said the more I'm realising how much of an idiot I really am.

OP posts:
PlinkPlink · 30/04/2019 20:52

Ah yes, the friend who pretends to be a friend but actually just wants to make herself feel better by dragging you down under her feet.

I think the best way here is to send a text saying you've had enough of her disingenuous behaviour, you've had enough of her weird definition of friendship and never want to see or hear from her again. Block number. Hide in house till she gets message.

You poor thing. At least you'll be able to recognise this kind of shitty behaviour in future and be less tolerant of it.

bobstersmum · 30/04/2019 20:53

She's a fucking loony! Block her and move on.

Lllot5 · 30/04/2019 20:54

Every time you update it gets worse. Comes into your house without knocking and trying to break up your marriage. She’s sounds nuts.

Jealous

SpeedyBojangles · 30/04/2019 20:54

Ok so the car on its own is snide and bitchy but after the updates I'm starting to think she's a bit of a ' single white female' type loon.

Matching tattoos and applied for the same job as you?

Yep, bonkers. Ditch her.

TeaForTheWin · 30/04/2019 20:55

Change your locks xD

I literally text dumped my 'friend'. Last straw was when she broke up with her bf (who had been my friend first and I realise now she probably only dated him because him and I were getting close) and right infront of me, used my internet to ask out the guy I had JUST had a date with. I was horrified! Her excuse 'oh I just broke up with my bf and need a man to talk to'. W.t.f.

So I 'text dumped' her a few days later like 'I just don't know how you can do things like this and think it is ok? I think we need to go her separate ways'. I think she knew it was coming tbh as she was just like 'ok'. But funily enough I felt her loss, I think part of me wanted her to fight for the friendship (after those 4 years as 'friends'). The odd thing is, I missed...having someone I was that close too. It felt like an empty space. But I met her a few years later at a mutual friends party and...she was just as horrible and pompus as I remembered. Definitely did the right thing getting shot, even though it wasn't easy.

I say do whatever you need to do to be free because...these sorts wait until the opportune moment to hurt you, it the most unbelievable ways possible. They aren't just sly, competitive and shallow...they are down right vile.

FancyAPint · 30/04/2019 20:56

Beachbodynowayready Tue 30-Apr-19 19:36:02
You need to apply a huge fake tattoo. Stand back and wait...

^this or something very similar!

Totally Single White Female!

You MUST MUST MUST call her out on this!

Original poster
IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 30/04/2019 20:57

Well.. I'm going to have to watch Single White Fe Male tonight now aren't I? My mums is disgraced I haven't seen it yet!

OP posts:
1Wildheartsease · 30/04/2019 20:58

It's not so much that she wants to be friends with you... she wants to be you and have your life. That is really odd - and a bit scary!

LordNibbler · 30/04/2019 21:04

She is seriously not your friend, in fact it sounds like she wants your life. I think you need to wake up and smell the coffee, where does it end? I'm actually surprised she's not made a play for your OH. You do know you should get rid of her right? Cos otherwise you'll have years of this and her upping the stakes every time. You don't need balls to do it, just a bit of self respect.

IvanaPee · 30/04/2019 21:07

She’s fucking unhinged!

How is she just walking into your house?!! Lock it while you’re inside!

I’d text back and say:

“Oh, congrats. We actually decided against that one so that’ll avoid any awkwardness when we get ours lol!”

Then a few minutes later send:

“No point. She’s crazy. Let her enjoy her little car 😂”

Then...

“Oh sorry. Wrong person! X”

But I’m a passive aggressive cow sometimes.

MollysMummy2010 · 30/04/2019 21:08

Just tell her it looks awful out of the show room when you can see the colour in the light. What a bitch.

EffYouSeeKaye · 30/04/2019 21:08

Ask her outright why she has done this.

Whatever you do, do not tell her your favourite baby names. Don’t tell her anything again.

Distance yourself.

Maybe fuck with her a little bit.

She is not a friend.

ButtonMoonLoon · 30/04/2019 21:10

I’d say ‘Oh, I can’t believe you bought it! I changed my mind after reading the safety data on it and have my eye on something much more suitable for us now’.
Then don’t say what you have in mind....

Original poster
IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 30/04/2019 21:10

maybe fuck with her a little bit

I love that!

OP posts:
washinglions · 30/04/2019 21:23

You could have a heck of a lot of fun spending all her money for her - all those things you could mention that you want, or are going to buy...

One of those boiling water taps
A massive rug
A giant wooden sculpture for the garden
Some rather expensive designer shoes in a horrid colour
Several cardigans from Bon Marche
A unicorn mural on your bedroom wall
A paella pan big enough to swim across
That emerald ring you always wanted
Tickets to the opera
A 10-foot monkey puzzle tree

So many things...

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 30/04/2019 21:23

For gods sake do not tell her any baby names you like,she'll probably call her cat it or some shit.

AlexaAmbidextra · 30/04/2019 21:25

I’ve always had to wait weeks to pick up a new car.

Weeks? I’ve always bought one weekend and picked it up the following weekend.

Yorkshirelady · 30/04/2019 21:27

Is she 12? FFS!!!!

Aeroflotgirl · 30/04/2019 21:31

She is no friend op, more like a frenamy. Just because you known her since you were 4does not make her a good friend. I would distance myself from her.