That a friend shouldnt do this?

[IAmNotPatientOrPregnant]

So I probably am being unreasonable.

But basically a few days ago, I told my friend I had found the car of my dreams but I couldn't afford it at the moment. She asked me what I wanted and what colour. I told her the colour choice was for a relatively sentimental reason.

She messaged me today to tell me shes bought a new car and us picking it up this evening. The car I told her I wanted, in the same colour.

I'm probably acting spoilt and bitchy but there was a reason behind my colour choice and I absolutely love the car.

What annoys me the most is the car wasnt even at the garage, she specifically went there and asked for that car in that colour.

It's not the first time shes done it, but it's always been with little things, not a bloody car.

She knows I've been feeling down lately and this has just stopped it all off.

Ps....what’s the colour??

And why?

nosy cow

Lost5stone
Brilliant reply. Yes. Do that definitely. Don’t lose your shit. That colour makes the car look cheap doesn’t it??

It's really weird behaviour. And normally I'm of the opinion that you don't get first dibs on something just because you said it out loud first. But quizzing you about the colour etc and then getting the exact same thing is weird.

How did she get it so quickly? I had to wait about a month for my car when I ordered it, and it would have been longer if I hadn't gone for the colour that was on special offer.

Don't know why anyone would slate you

Your 'friend' is a complete bitch, and she's absolutely not a real friend at all. You're someone she uses to make herself feel better.

Been there, distanced myself.

She's weirdly competitive and just plain mean. I'd be rethinking the friendship in your shoes. Life is too short for this sort of crap.

Can't you ask her why she's done that? It's so obviously deliberate. "So, Karen, what made you decide to get the exact car I want, in the exact colour I want?" You may also want to ask her if she has a mind of her own.

And matching tattoos? Fuck, no

This is such bizarre behaviour on her part. So much so that, could it be possible that she bought the car for you and is bringing it round as a surprise? Far fetched, but this behaviour is so odd that clutching at these unlikely straws seem a remote possibility!

Have you actually asked her what made her get the car that you told her you wanted in the same exact colour you also wanted?

Perhaps talking to her may give you some reasoning, or it may just at least give her a reminder that you did mention this to her.

It may feel rubbish now, but you'll get the car of your dreams when it's your time. Who knows, in a couple of months, you may decide you want something else entirely.

My post doesn’t make sense but you get the gist I’m sure

I'd just confront her and ask why she did that when she knew that was what you wanted - I'd also tell her that if I decide to stay friends with her, I won't ever confide in her again ... silly cow

This is what people with narcissistic personality disorder do. Especially in 'friendship' positions. They find out what (or who) you want and then they try to get it first.

Please don't dismiss it as insecurity. It isn't, it is competitiveness. It is something they do to keep you 'in your place' (beneath them). She's do it if you point out a man you fancy too.

I've noticed they are worse when they are 'feeling down' (aka: just broke up with someone) because narcissists...they see life as a game of winners and losers and they CANT deal with being the 'loser' so they have to make other people around them worse off, to address the balance.

I pretty much guarantee you she is one because stealing your hobbies and interests, flirting with people they know you like and buying things they know you want and rubbing it in your face are three very common indicators. These are also not things that real friends do.

She didnt really order it, it was at another branch so they just bought it down to that branch for her.

I feel like I'd get slated because it is such a first world problem. "Oh my friend has bought the same car I wanted boo hoo" type of thing.

But I'm pretty glad most agree with me now. Gives me a bit more courage to be straight up and ask her why.

I'd say, "Sorry, can't see you at the moment. OH and I are busy. We're trying and trying to think of one reason why you might end up with the exact car I told you I wanted, but the only thing we can come up with is that you're a complete and utter twat."

Would be the end of my friendship. I wouldn't trust her ever again.

I bet if you asked her why she'd done it she would deny knowing that you wanted that car. She'd say she had no idea you liked it and didn't recall discussing it with you.

Or else she'd say that you'd said that you couldn't afford it so she thought that you'd be delighted to get a lift in hers occasionally and she can't believe you're so ungrateful.

One way or another she'd probably try to convince you that you're being unreasonable.

The horse one is weirder. That two people would want to get a particular horse purely because of how it looks with no attention to ability, suitability to the rider, age of horse etc is mad.

I’d be so pissed off if this were me.
She sounds the competitive type. Has to have everything before you.

Not really what you want in a friend. May get stick for it but I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. This would surely annoy most people.

Has she done stuff like this before??

@hollowtalk
I like the way you think, it's similar to my dry sense of humour, I just dont have the ladyballs to say it out loud.

Haha I agree with PP you should say you're desperate for a full sleeve tattoo but cant afford it.... then laugh when she gets one saying you were joking ;)

She sounds like a psycho

You should go over to look at the car, tell her it's lovely, really suits her, then declare how relieved you are you decided against that colour! But then, I'm a bitch

That's exactly what I'd do, lol!
Seriously, it's not a normal thing to do, how bizarre of your friend (not to mention a bit mean when you 'd mentioned it but couldn't afford ot right now.
She sounds jealous of you, or competitive and insecure of herself. Weird thing to do.

@llly603 yes she does it a fair bit, but with smaller things. For example, I was waiting for payday to order a jumper I found and liked. She ordered it on the sofa next to me. Find your own fucking jumper. (That was really is unreasonable lol) but all the same, she just wants what other people want. She just doesnt have to pay any bills so has a fair bit of disposable income.

She applied for the same job as me. And got the job too. I was genuinely happy for her that time though as I was going for a career change (I'm professionally qualified) she was just working in a warehouse so it was nice for her to get something better.

This is not a friend, hard to dump her as long history but what she did was way off the charts weird ... of all the cars in all the town she got the one you wanted and sadly could not afford AND wants to come round to show it off , be more busy in future

OP, I probably wouldn't say it, but I would text it!

She's not really your friend, is she?