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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That a friend shouldnt do this?

213 replies

IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 30/04/2019 19:28

So I probably am being unreasonable.

But basically a few days ago, I told my friend I had found the car of my dreams but I couldn't afford it at the moment. She asked me what I wanted and what colour. I told her the colour choice was for a relatively sentimental reason.

She messaged me today to tell me shes bought a new car and us picking it up this evening. The car I told her I wanted, in the same colour.

I'm probably acting spoilt and bitchy but there was a reason behind my colour choice and I absolutely love the car.

What annoys me the most is the car wasnt even at the garage, she specifically went there and asked for that car in that colour.

It's not the first time shes done it, but it's always been with little things, not a bloody car.

She knows I've been feeling down lately and this has just stopped it all off.

OP posts:
Holidayshopping · 30/04/2019 20:37

Pale blue Fiat 500?!

Honestly, OP-I’d stay in bed eating chocolate. What a horrible friend she’s been Sad. Don’t tell her anything important ever again.

TeaForTheWin · 30/04/2019 20:38

My npd friend actually did that. I mentioned I was thinking of getting a tattoo, the next day she comes in and says she has booked herself one xD she got it too! Never told her what I wanted though but she just HAD to get a tattoo first.

Then there was the time I mentioned thinking about doing stand up comedy to her, the next week a mate tells me that she told him SHE is going to do stand up and we should go watch.

Then there was the flirting with my uni crush and flinging herself at anyone I so much as said was cute on nights out xD

Then I got a job at a company and she asked me if they were 'hiring managers?' (aka: 'because im better than you')

They are flipping mental. So glad I realised what was before she fucked up my life because it was starting to go that way. They get darker and darker as time passes.

Original poster
IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 30/04/2019 20:38

@jux

No. But how do you bin off someone without creating bad blood?! :(

OP posts:
Original poster
IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 30/04/2019 20:40

Not a fiat 500 lol.

Not pale blue, not pink.

Its weirder because it's not even a really flashy car, me and DP are trying for a baby so I've kept convient, 5 door and big boot in mind. It's not something she would go for on a normal day. .... unless she is now trying for a baby (she hates kids)

OP posts:
TeaForTheWin · 30/04/2019 20:40

She applied for the same job as me. And got the job too. I was genuinely happy for her that time though as I was going for a career change (I'm professionally qualified) she was just working in a warehouse so it was nice for her to get something better.

haha just read this! Did you see my post about the wanting to be my manger? xD

Definitely has npd op. Please please run for the hills.

OurChristmasMiracle · 30/04/2019 20:41

I’d say “oh having looked into that car make/model i decided that for the money there’s better cars on the market” Grin

LimeKiwi · 30/04/2019 20:41

For example, I was waiting for payday to order a jumper I found and liked. She ordered it on the sofa next to me. Find your own fucking jumper. (That was really is unreasonable lol) but all the same, she just wants what other people want

She's a cow, sorry. You;re not BU, she is. Who does that?! I usually hate confrontation but I don't think I'd have been able to help myself.
"Have you done that so that when I buy mine, you want us to be going round in matching jumpers like twinnies? I don't think so, Susan!" Grin

Kaddm · 30/04/2019 20:41

You do it gradually

Betsy86 · 30/04/2019 20:41

Oooh what a cow!
What i would do is be like wow that car sounds nice... im such a idiot the car i meant i wanted was ‘xyz’ im always getting names mixed up. Not sure how as i dont like the other one but atleast you got it in a nice colour!

Original poster
IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 30/04/2019 20:41

@Teaforthewin..

I'm a little scared we have the same crazy friend!

OP posts:
Baloonphobia · 30/04/2019 20:41

She created the bad blood by being like this. Just gradually withdraw. I'm busy, I'll call you etc.

PirateWeasel · 30/04/2019 20:41

I had a 'friend' exactly like this through secondary school. Got rid of her by simply getting harder and harder to keep in touch with until she gave up trying. Might not work so well if you live in the same town and share all the same friends though...

Lllot5 · 30/04/2019 20:42

Well of course this is all about her insecurities she is jealous of you.
Decidedly odd. When you see the car say something like oh I’m glad I didn’t get it know gone right off that colour. Or ignore it and just ease her out.

Original poster
IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 30/04/2019 20:42

I cant exactly make up that it's not the car I wanted and I'm confused about names and me and OH are quite into our cars so it would be weird for me not to know the ins and outs of what I want car wise Grin

OP posts:
PirateWeasel · 30/04/2019 20:43

Also, you haven't told her you're trying for a baby, have you? I can see that turning into a really hellish situation given her track record!!

isabellerossignol · 30/04/2019 20:43

Even if you create bad blood, what have you to lose? She's making you unhappy anyway.

TeaForTheWin · 30/04/2019 20:43

I'm a little scared we have the same crazy friend!
ikr xD

I think they read the same textbook at least!

Baloonphobia · 30/04/2019 20:44

Getting rid of a toxic 'friend' is the best feeling ever.

Original poster
IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 30/04/2019 20:44

I could never fully get rid of her.

She just turns up at my house all the time, walks in without knocking ect.

She on occasion even waits in my garden for me to get home from work.

My OH is sick of her for this reason.

OP posts:
Kaddm · 30/04/2019 20:44

She sounds like a stalky weirdo and I’d definitely be backing off from her and her antics.

You could say, no I don’t want to see your new car. You are aware it’s exactly what I wanted, you had expressed no interest in it prior to me describing it and so you coming to rub my nose in it is not on.

Or you could message, oh you bought the exact car I told you I wanted. Is it a present for me?

cuppycakey · 30/04/2019 20:44

YANBU she sounds weird.

Why are you worried about binning her off and upsetting her? You don't ever have to see here again. She doesn't give a shit about your feelings.

She is bound to try for a baby now you are. She is NOT a friend.

LimeKiwi · 30/04/2019 20:45

I cant exactly make up that it's not the car I wanted and I'm confused about names and me and OH are quite into our cars so it would be weird for me not to know the ins and outs of what I want car wise

When she shows up with it then kind of screw your nose up at it thoughtfully and say "hmm, do you know, I'm glad you got it as it's not really as nice in the flesh, is it? Think I want to get something else." Then for the Love Of God don't tell her what car or anything else you're going to get again

isabellerossignol · 30/04/2019 20:46

I cant exactly make up that it's not the car I wanted and I'm confused about names and me and OH are quite into our cars so it would be weird for me not to know the ins and outs of what I want car wise

Maybe not, but you could play mindgames with her and pretend that you never said you liked those cars and pretend that you have no idea where she got the idea from that you were planning to buy one Wink

Having said that, it's not worth stopping to her level and you'd be better being busy every time she wants to meet up.

Original poster
IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 30/04/2019 20:46

Some really great ideas here.

Next question: how do I grow a pair to say and do all of this!? Someone lend me your balls for a day!

OP posts:
1Wildheartsease · 30/04/2019 20:46

You could look in wonder at the car and shake your head:

'Wow! I never realised that I had so much influence over you. The car is lovely... but I'd have taken more care in singing its praises if I realised that you were thinking of following my advice so closely!'

Or just take to talking longingly about things you would hate to own or to do, (holidays you know are the very worst) etc. BAD - but fun :)

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