To think tokophobia isn't a phobia but a normal reaction to the horror of childbirth

[TeenTitans]

And that the classification of it as a phobia is another symptom of society dismissing women's valid concerns as hysteria?

Even the most straight forward birth is still objectively awful. It's a large object being forced out of a small vagina. There are people who say they had a great birth but I highly doubt it would be up there with a romantic meal out, a good book or riveting film on anyones list of "fun things I'd like to be doing later".

Being afraid or repulsed by it seems very logical and classing women as mentally ill for voicing this isn't okaym

I haven't read the entire thread but for health reasons I am not going to have any more children. One of the hardest things for me to accept is that I am not going to give birth again. It is hard, is it nerve wracking but I did love it. I didn't even have "easy" births.

I know that doesn't help anyone who hates it but it's the truth. And I am grateful to feel this way. To desperately want a family but to be terrified of childbirth would be awful. I feel for everyone who experiences this and I hope if the fear is debilitating that you can have support or counselling.

If tokophobia was a normal and rational reaction to childbirth, the human race would probably have died out eons ago

It's only recently (compared to how long humans have been around) that we've had reliable means of preventing pregnancy. And of course, in the past many women wouldn't have survived their traumatic labour. I probably would have died 100 years ago so wouldn't have been around to develop a fear of being pregnant again/giving birth. As it is I think my reaction is quite rational, why the hell would I want to do something like that again? The pain was beyond agonising and there was no break at all, just that would have been bad enough, without the complete disregard for the fact I am a living, breathing human being and not just an incubator and the various complications.

What @TwitterQueen1 said. It is a real thing.

GrolliffetheDragon absolutely. In years gone by I’d have died with my first birth so wouldn’t be around to feel frightened (rationally) about my second.

Ehh I genuinely enjoyed labour and birth (apart from the last 10 mins), albeit mainly because I was off my face on the epidural. I don't think that acting like women 'should' be frightened of their own bodies is any better than dismissing their concerns as hysterical. I don't think that there should be any stigma attaching to anxiety about childbirth, but to say that women should be concerned (and so implicitly that there is something wrong with them if they are not) isn't going to help, and will probably just increase anxiety levels overall.

I'm not scared of giving birth, at all. Then there are those wyo are naturally scared and within reason. Then there ae thise who have a phobia. It's not the same.

It's perfectly reasonable abd logical to be afraid of heights - we dob't have wings, we were never meant to fly, falling from a height would entail pain or death. Yet there is stikl a distinction msde between a normal appreciation of the dangers of heights, and a full-blown phobia of them.

Look how many men won't get a vasectomy. They won't talk about it.

I think that is because their is a stigma towards vasectomies in men - emascumating etc

Same as there's plenty of stigma around different ways of birthing, or not having kids at all as a woman.

That's not phobia fear though is it... Simply worrying about the right way to birth etc

A phobia is different. I think some people can't cope with giving birth. For some people it's the thought of intimate examinations that they can't deal.

I've had 4 vaginal births. Childbirth is incredibly painful and scary but I'd still choose it over a cesarian. It is a phobia for some people.

It is a phobia

I think I have a phobia to a cesarean. My baby was breach last year and the idea of a section made me absolutely sick to my stomach. And people who had them (very kindly) kept trying to convince me that it would be fine and I couldn't cope with it at all. I genuinely used to think people were off their head to want one electively. I wasn't so bad that I'd have considered insisting on vaginal. But I think before I was faced with it I would have thought my reaction was rational and I just had a preference to vaginal birth. In retrospect I have a phobia because (although in my head everything I think is still 100% logical) I now appreciate that I was a little bit tunnel vision.

Agree. Women saying they have a phobia just want to seem 'special' they think they will have a harder time of it or previously had a hard time of it. No one could have gone what they want through.

This is disgusting.

They are two very different things. Also not everyone thinks childbirth is awful. I’ve had three children and while it was tiring, overwhelming at times and decidedly painful I wasn’t frightened at any stage.

After developing PTSD after having ds, my immediate request was to be sterilised. Thankfully I never had another pregnancy to term & now I honestly think I would not have coped mentally with another pregnancy. The happiest day of my life was the day I had a hysterectomy because I knew then that the days of worrying about pregnancy were over.

Most people without an acute phobia cannot understand what it's like to have one, which is understandable, many people misuse the term to describe rational fear

Doubling down on that position though, in the face of people who do suffer a phobia, not so understandable

I has awful experience, tried to kill myself twice while giving birth because the pain was so much... My muddled brain didn't realise you can't suffocate yourself with a pillow, you just pass out and breathe again. Honestly it was that bad with one of them. I don't know how I made it... But I did and I did it four times in total so definitely no tokophobia but a healthy respect for the horror that childbirth can be and how dangerous it can be (clearly especially in my case when I became a danger to myself!). That said there are clearly people that gave phobias so I don't see why not a phobia of this.