To ask what to say to my mum? I've upset her.

[incogneto]

I've just told DM that I just want it to be me and DP at the upcoming birth of our DS.

It's what I wanted all along anyway but felt pressure to tell her she could be a birthing partner as family just assumed that anyway. I really want it to be a private experience just me and my partner.

She's very upset and didn't say anything except "okay". She then went to ask had someone tried to change my mind

I told her no, nobody had said anything (they haven't) and this is MY decision and my decision only.

Now she won't speak to me and I don't know what to do! I can't help but feel guilty for telling her she can't be there but it is up to me after all..

It’s totally understandable you just want your DP there, l would be same. She needs to respect your wishes and give you some space. Both now and after your baby is born

I have a feeling I won't even make it to Saturday. The pains down below are very painful, it feels like lightening bolts down there

So sharp and sudden.

Are you timing them?

Could it be the head engaging and trapping nerves?

@Weenurse no I was too busy walking round the front room trying to get the pain to wear off it slipped my mind.

Next one I will!

@LightDrizzle this is what I'm thinking it is also, I think he's dropped even lower and this is what's causing the pain!

The pain is in the pelvic area mainly

Phone your midwife.

Good luck OP

Good luck 💐

No pain atm. On the sofa downstairs with blanket and propped up with pillows. I feel really comfortable.

Wondering whether to still call?

Hold off at this stage.
I was told if pains continued at rest then it was real labor, if they went away, they were practice contractions.

It sounds as though you are getting ready for labor, rest while you can.
I presented for induction with DD2 already 4cm dilated and only needed half a dose of induction gel to get going.

I really don't blame you for wanting just you and your DP - I was the same. I think my DM had presumed she would be there but I just didn't tell her until it basically the baby had been born. I've just had my second and this time there was no presumption and we just got on with it - my mum did look after my other DC though so i think she felt involved enough!

You probably should have been honest with your mum from the start, she is obviously disappointed but I'm sure she will get over it in a few days. I would just perhaps message and apologise again and wait for her to come round!
Good luck with the birth

Hope all is well this morning OP.

"shooting pains up my vagina and bottom at this stage?"*

Both my labours were pains around my bottom that initially would make me jump up if I was sitting down.

No period type pains/cramps at all.

Hope all is going well, Op.

what is it with these mothers? I was there when dd gave birth simply due to circumstances that were beyond my control and both her and my son in law needed me there, dear god! I was totally traumatised I never ever want to do that again, I never planned to be there, dd never planned for me to be there and I would never have wanted my dm with me when I was giving birth. (im not going into details as op appears to be in labour and it goes against the sisterhood to tell)

next time I would like to be presented with a washed, nicely dressed baby, handed over by a tired but proud mummy who has had time for a cup of tea and a cuddle with said baby while proud daddy looks on with delight! (after having had some time alone as a new family)
I will then be a happy skivvy for the next week and make sure food is provided and washing done while mummy and baby bond!

good luck op, the prize is worth the effort!

btw, my dgs is the light of my life!

even though seeing him 'crowning' was not my most happy memory, I saw more of my dd than I ever needed to

Oh your updated gave me more anxiety! I hope she respects your wishes, and you get the birth you want. Certainly hope I do!

Also someone’s update about their mother barging in immediately after birth and getting first hold - that’s my biggest worry! Sorry that happened!
Good luck OP, hope you got some rest overnight!

Hope you got some rest. My vote is still not to tell anyone you've gone in.

Hope it's all going well!