For not wanting to holiday abroad?

[chocolatelog]

Myself and 4 out of 5 of the children haven't been abroad. We don't even have passports.

Dh and the 3 oldest all want to go on holiday this year. Dh has found a holiday for 10 days in Spain and is pressuring me to go but I've got zero interest. My eldest (17) has been with her friends family so she's got the bug and is begging me to go.
A part of me feels like I should go because before long the kids will be older and won't be interested in going with us, but I just can't be bothered with it all. I filled in one passport form and that was enough to make me go 🙈 it took 5 attempts at getting it wrong, so the thought of filling in 5 people's worth is enough to put me into an early grave!

The two youngest are 5 and 2 and I feel like it won't really be an enjoyable experience for me, dh is very hands on with them but I'm a stress head and get into rage pretty quickly 😬

Plus the money for passports and the actual holiday for 7 people makes me think we could use it for better things, we both need a new cat each and I'm thinking I'd rather those than a pissing holiday 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't know if my attitude to it all is because I've never been abroad, I'm quite happy to spend a week in Cornwall or Dorset or anywhere else that this country has to offer. The thought of flying and watching the kids like a hawk just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. Is it a case of what you've never had you never miss? Or should I just put my happy face on and agree to going?

I think you should go. The majority want to and the little ones would love it too so it's just you who doesn't fancy it. You don't know you won't like it unless you try it and like you said, the oldest ones won't want to come soon so it will be lovely to all spend time together. Get your dh to do the passports and enjoy it

Why would you have to watch your kids like a hawk in Spain any more than you would have to in Cornwall or Dorset?

Tbh it does read like you are just trying to find issues not to go.
It's only Spain, not the dark side of the moon.
And if you've never flown, you might find it absolutely magical too.

if you genuinely can't afford it all, that's one thing. But if you are just trying to find blockers to stop the rest of your family from going, then that's more on you, sorry.

can't your dh fill out the forms.

I never went abroad with my parents as a child, and can remember always feeling desperately jealous of friends who did. I always felt I was missing out.

Now I travel loads and slightly resent the fact that my parents spent thousands on unnecessary home improvements but I didn't have many experiences as a child.

Why would you have to watch them like a hawk in Spain as opposed to in England?

I can completely understand your feeling apprehensive if you’ve never been abroad before - and the flight itself may seem daunting but I don’t really understand why they’d need any closer supervision in Spain than in Cornwall.

I think it's a bit sad you could take them but won't because you can't be bothered.

Because he's found a villa with a pool. I'm terrified of pools with small kids.

Put on a happy face an go. I love going abroad and have been fortunate enough take my two abroad since they were babies, it was hard when they were little but they love to travel just as much as we do now, and we go even further afield these days.

Passports once they are done they are done.

Aren't passport applications on line now or is that just renewals? I did dh and dd renewals online last year and it was quick and easy.

If you are not confident though get your dh to do it or do it together, no reason you should have to be responsible for passports.

Other than that I am not sure what you have against Spain, depending on where you go there are lovely beaches, food, wine, towns, countryside, culture, music and enough English people to stop you feeling out of place. I can't think why you would need to be more vigilant than in the UK and I get you are not bothered but 4 of your family are.

Taking a plane is not very different to taking a coach / bus ride. You queue up, show your ticket, take your seat, spend an hour or 2 slightly bored and cramped then you arrive at your destination and get off. You also have enough leverage with your dh I reckon to make him sit with the 2 youngest so you can sit with the older ones and read your book

It's worth a try op you might love it, you might not but at least you will have given it a go for your family

The good thing about a villa with a pool is that it will only be your kids in the pool so easy to keep an eye on. The doors to the villa should have child proof locks and you just need to ensure you tell the eldest ones to always keep the door closed. Or alternatively find a hotel with a kids pool

No, don't go. You wouldn't enjoy it, and would probably spoil it for the others. Any chance your DH could take the DC on his own?

Most family targeted villas with pools have a gate or fencing, is not fair on your children or husband to say no foreign holidays because you can't be bothered, they've fine it your way for at least 17 years, it's their turn to have what they want now and your turn to support that

It’s significantly easier to look after small children in the sunshine at a resort designed for holidays than in the rain in England.

Don’t you have any interest to see another country, even a really tourist bit of it

Never going abroad is deeply limiting. You don’t see how other people live, other cultures, languages and other ways of doing things. You miss out on different landscapes, heritage sites, cultural events and a wealth of experiences which are not available in any one country. I can understand that not everyone can afford to travel abroad which is fair enough, but if you can afford it and choose not to do it you are limiting your children’s lives.

@skippy67 she won't know if she will enjoy it unless she actually goes

@witchhofzog it sounds like she's already made her mind up not to...

Not to enjoy it, I mean.

You have to get a cat each? Is that a typo?

If you don’t want to go abroad don’t go. Depending where you’re travelling from it’s just as easy to get to Spain as it is to get to Cornwall though. If your dh is determined to go just get him to fill in the passport forms.

Can't be bothered to fill in a passport application? Yeah, that is kinda lame.

YANBU - what about climate change? By not flying you are doing the planet a favour :)

I'm like you in that I mostly CBA with the stress of traveling, but once there, the kids do have fun so I think it's something you sometimes just have to do (money permitting). It's hard if you think the money could be better spent though.
I'd definitely get DH to do all the passport forms though - if he is the one driving it, then he ought to put the work in to make it happen and not dump it on you

@skippy67 well yes that's true. But hopefully she will. I didn't go abroad until I was 30. I was always sceptical of sun holidays and felt apprehensive before I went. But I loved it and have been all over now - city breaks, sun holidays and one memorable jungle holiday. It's such a shame to deprive the whole family for the sake of one person

I've no interest in seeing other country's. I don't like sunbathing I can't relax. I went on a spa day once and laying around the pool did my head in. I can't stitch off and am not one for laying about.
I hate being like this but it's just the way I am, I'm used to being busy.

My parents have never been abroad and my siblings only went once they were married, so it's not like I was brought up by holidaying parents.

Is the pool gated at the villa?