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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not wanting to holiday abroad?

486 replies

chocolatelog · 24/04/2019 10:28

Myself and 4 out of 5 of the children haven't been abroad. We don't even have passports.

Dh and the 3 oldest all want to go on holiday this year. Dh has found a holiday for 10 days in Spain and is pressuring me to go but I've got zero interest. My eldest (17) has been with her friends family so she's got the bug and is begging me to go.
A part of me feels like I should go because before long the kids will be older and won't be interested in going with us, but I just can't be bothered with it all. I filled in one passport form and that was enough to make me go 🙈 it took 5 attempts at getting it wrong, so the thought of filling in 5 people's worth is enough to put me into an early grave!

The two youngest are 5 and 2 and I feel like it won't really be an enjoyable experience for me, dh is very hands on with them but I'm a stress head and get into rage pretty quickly 😬

Plus the money for passports and the actual holiday for 7 people makes me think we could use it for better things, we both need a new cat each and I'm thinking I'd rather those than a pissing holiday 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't know if my attitude to it all is because I've never been abroad, I'm quite happy to spend a week in Cornwall or Dorset or anywhere else that this country has to offer. The thought of flying and watching the kids like a hawk just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. Is it a case of what you've never had you never miss? Or should I just put my happy face on and agree to going?

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolatelog · 24/04/2019 11:03

No, don't go. You wouldn't enjoy it, and would probably spoil it for the others. Any chance your DH could take the DC on his own?

I know I won't. I suggested to dh about him taking the kids but he wasn't having any of it 🙈

OP posts:
skippy67 · 24/04/2019 11:03

So stay at home then, and let your DH and DC go.

skippy67 · 24/04/2019 11:04

cross post!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 24/04/2019 11:04

My parents have never been abroad and my siblings only went once they were married, so it's not like I was brought up by holidaying parents.

That's exactly why your kids need to go, with or without you. You don't just go away to lounge around - I'm not good at that either; and it'd be a crying shame to go away and spend the whole time lounging, in my opinion. But having no interest in other cultures and countries means that your world is a much, much smaller place; and I genuinely think my life would be significantly worse if I hadn't travelled.

Can DH take the older ones and you stay with the younger ones? Or would DH be able to manage them all?

Witchofzog · 24/04/2019 11:06

Well more of you want to go than don't. It's not fair to deprive the whole family for one person. You don't HAVE to lounge around the pool all week. You could go to the beach, explore the town's, castles, sites of local interest etc

Original poster
chocolatelog · 24/04/2019 11:11

@RocketSurgery yes that was meant to say car lol I had a child climbing over me when I was typing that out lol.

Dh wants me to go,I've suggested him taking them and I'll holiday at home in peach and quiet 😊

I just wish I could find the enthusiasm but I just cba. And those forms were a nightmare and the cost of 5 passports alone is ridiculous.

OP posts:
Babuchak · 24/04/2019 11:11

Most kids go abroad nowadays, it's usually cheaper to go to Spain or Italy with a package! It would be a shame for your kids to miss out. When the kids turn 5 at school, there's a flurry or passport renewal requests, people travel.

Flying on such a short flight is fun for the kids, it's a bit different. I can't imagine an adult never having been abroad, we live in such a small country, how can not go somewhere else!

Don't be childish and petulant about the passport application forms, they really are very easy. You just need someone to sign the photos, but if you are able to access MN forum, you can apply for a passport, it's just as hard...

Baloon · 24/04/2019 11:11

@chocolatelog. There are water survival courses for young children. They teach young children how to float until they are rescued if they fall into water.
They are not swimming lessons so you would still need to watch them but may be reassuring as an extra precaution.

Babuchak · 24/04/2019 11:12

How do you know you don't like "abroad" if you've never been?

Shoxfordian · 24/04/2019 11:13

You should give it a go, you might surprise yourself and have a good time

DrMadelineMaxwell · 24/04/2019 11:14

Dh won't go abroad. Not at all interested.
But he doesn't mind that I take the DC with me and go without him. I feel he's missing out but he would rather poke himself in the eye with a sharp stick than get on a plane or holiday abroad.

It works for us for me to take the kids while he stays home.

RosaWaiting · 24/04/2019 11:15

I hated my parents taking me abroad as a kid. Rest of the family loved it. At 16 I put my foot down and said "never again".

if you don't want to go, don't. I would suggest that DH takes the older DC if they want to.

for some reason, it's seen as awful if you don't want to go abroad nowadays.

Omzlas · 24/04/2019 11:15

Sounds more like you CBA with forms, for what could potentially be an amazing holiday. A villa with a pool? I'd be all over that like white on rice. You don't have to want to investigate other countries, go and chill out. Be that sunbathing or inside with a book. Sounds like you've already decided that you don't want to go though. And asking your partner to take the kids and leave you at home is just cutting off your nose to spite your face. And self absorbed. How would one person cope with all the kids by themselves, when they don't have to?

Original poster
chocolatelog · 24/04/2019 11:15

Don't be childish and petulant about the passport application forms, they really are very easy. You just need someone to sign the photos, but if you are able to access MN forum, you can apply for a passport, it's just as hard...

I'm not joking when I said it took me 5 forms until I'd got it right. I'm no good at form filling 🙈 then there's getting all the photos finding someone to sign them and finding the money to pay for them all. How much would 5 passports cost?

OP posts:
HBStowe · 24/04/2019 11:15

I think if you tried it you would find that you loved it, and I think it’s mean for you to stand in the way when everyone else wants to. Give it a try, there’s nothing like going abroad!

NoSauce · 24/04/2019 11:17

You can do the passports online OP.
You sound a bit me me me I’m afraid.

DefConOne · 24/04/2019 11:18

If your DH took responsibility for all the passport applications and booking the holiday would you go? You sound quite anxious about it all. Your DH is the one who wants to go so he should sort it out for everyone.

Original poster
chocolatelog · 24/04/2019 11:19

You sound a bit me me me I’m afraid

Yep Cos it will be me me me doing everything. I'd rather have a car and see where my money's gone.

OP posts:
Babuchak · 24/04/2019 11:19

5 passports is not cheap, I give you that.

For not wanting to holiday abroad?
Babuchak · 24/04/2019 11:20

It is cheaper to apply online btw, the "post office check service" is a rip-off too, you don't need to pay for that either.

Honestly, take your time and breathe, if you are on MN, you can do it!

CarolDanvers · 24/04/2019 11:20

Yes you should go and show some enthusiasm too. Sounds like you’re putting a right dampener on their excitement.

WaitedForGodot · 24/04/2019 11:21

Honestly sounds like you're deliberately doing the passport forms badly because you don't want to go.

YANBU to not want to holiday abroad (although I agree with other posters that your reasons seem kinda weak), YABU if you're stopping the rest of the family from going.

RosaWaiting · 24/04/2019 11:22

OP it will be you organising everything?

that's bonkers. If DH wants to go, tell him he has to organise everything.

Going abroad as an adult is quite possibly even more disappointing than going as a child. I think you have a strong sense that you don't want to go. It's a bit like telling a child to try broccoli because "they might enjoy it". highly unlikely.

how much is a passport? £80? Your DC can go when they are older if they choose to.

NoSauce · 24/04/2019 11:22

But it would be you do everything whether you’re in Spain or Devon.

Original poster
chocolatelog · 24/04/2019 11:22

If your DH took responsibility for all the passport applications and booking the holiday would you go? You sound quite anxious about it all. Your DH is the one who wants to go so he should sort it out for everyone.

I'm very anxious about it all. I'm a homebody I like being at home with all my comforts. We've only had long weekends away. We've not even had a week away 🙈

I get stressed, I lose my shit, and dh and I will have a slanging match. I'll spend the holiday hating him it won't be fun 🙈

OP posts:
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