For not wanting to holiday abroad?

[chocolatelog]

Myself and 4 out of 5 of the children haven't been abroad. We don't even have passports.

Dh and the 3 oldest all want to go on holiday this year. Dh has found a holiday for 10 days in Spain and is pressuring me to go but I've got zero interest. My eldest (17) has been with her friends family so she's got the bug and is begging me to go.
A part of me feels like I should go because before long the kids will be older and won't be interested in going with us, but I just can't be bothered with it all. I filled in one passport form and that was enough to make me go 🙈 it took 5 attempts at getting it wrong, so the thought of filling in 5 people's worth is enough to put me into an early grave!

The two youngest are 5 and 2 and I feel like it won't really be an enjoyable experience for me, dh is very hands on with them but I'm a stress head and get into rage pretty quickly 😬

Plus the money for passports and the actual holiday for 7 people makes me think we could use it for better things, we both need a new cat each and I'm thinking I'd rather those than a pissing holiday 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't know if my attitude to it all is because I've never been abroad, I'm quite happy to spend a week in Cornwall or Dorset or anywhere else that this country has to offer. The thought of flying and watching the kids like a hawk just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. Is it a case of what you've never had you never miss? Or should I just put my happy face on and agree to going?

How about north coast of Spain or France? You can drive there via the ferry so much cheaper than all flying and you'll have a car to go out and about it. I particularly like the Vendee in France or Gijon in Spain. Spanish motorways are much quieter than ours too

You’re being hugely unreasonable. The majority of your family
Would love to see other cultures and have great experiences abroad. So pull yourself together, fill out the forms and go.
I think you’re being selfish tbh. Going abroad is a wonderful experience for children.
If filling out the forms is making you anxious, maybe you actually need a holiday?!

Going abroad as an adult is quite possibly even more disappointing than going as a child.

that makes no sense at all. "Abroad" is not one place, abroad is literally the rest of the world as opposed to our tiny country. Some you like, some you don't, some you fit in, some you won't. Until you try and have been pretty much everywhere, you can't have an opinion about "abroad"!

OP, you truly sound miserable. It is so unfair on your dh and children that they have to keep missing out on what could be some amazing family experiences due to your laziness. Tell you Dh you will go if he helps you with the forms.

How exactly can you say you have no interest in "abroad" when you have never been? You do realize that the big, wide world is full of diverse places that have their own cultures, attractions, food and scenery? Not everywhere is just lounging by a beach. Part of my love for going abroad is the culture and sightseeing. If you don't like sitting around then wouldn't sight seeing appeal to you?

YABVU and I think you should go. Your children would benefit from seeing the world (even just Spain) and you know, it may even help you loosen up a bit and be much happier, because you honestly sound like you need it!

You actually sound very selfish. It sounds as though your happy with Cornwall etc so everyone else in your family should be. Your husband has presumably gone with you to ‘your’ idea of a holiday for years so maybe now it’s time to suck it up and do what he and the rest want to do.

Going abroad with children is really no harder than holidaying in the UK.

Do you generally have anxiety & are a nervous, fearful person ? You don’t want to go because you’re afraid of pools & passport costs ? These sound like flimsy excuses to not go.

If you don’t want to go overseas then why can’t your DH take the older kids to experience Spain while you stay home with the little ones? Travelling is something that many people enjoy & just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean your family should be denied.

Being Italian Aussie & having done overseas travel & 2 years working holiday in London, can’t understand choosing to not want to experience any of the amazing cities Europe has to offer. America, take it or leave it...But UK & Europe...(insert wistful sigh here)

You should push yourself but only if you can keep an open mind otherwise you will spoil it for everyone. Tell the older kids and DH that they need to help out with keeping young ones safe and not expect to sit around all the time. Make sure there are places to walk to from your Villa and you can still cook and clean and supermarket shop if your heart desires... What do you do on holiday in the UK when you go? Do you enjoy UK vacations? In my experience Spain is often cheaper and less faff than some places in the UK.

Your holiday experience can be the same or better ( it's not the moon, most people speak English, and the weather is better) and just think about how exciting it could be for you all, with the right attitude of course. I haven't taken my 2 year old on holiday overseas yet due to anxiety about travelling with a toddler and I feel guilty about it. If you can afford it, your family deserves this.

When did your DH last go on holiday abroad?

If everyone else wants to go then you’re going to have to go. They won’t thank you for spoiling their fun.

You show a bit of an odd lack of curiosity about seeing other countries and experiencing other cultures. I totally get that the UK has some amazing holiday destinations but your kids will gain so much from seeing another country.

Tell your husband to fill in the passport forms.

How about north coast of Spain or France? You can drive there via the ferry so much cheaper than all flying

I've never been on one, but I understood that it was dirt cheap to fly on crappy airlines on shorthaul flights. Is it really going to be "so much cheaper" to drive, taking a ferry, each way than going by Easy jet / Ryan Air?

@WaitedForGodot I haven't filled out any passports forms? You mean for my daughter? That was last year and I kept filling them in without using capital letters (I struggle with that) then there was a blue pen instead of black. Then I messed up with her dad's details. I wasn't deliberately trying to mess up her form I was excited for her to go but I had a deadline and I was panicking and having never done one before I found it really difficult.

(on another note @WaitedForGodot love your username!)

Oh for goodness sake OP don't be so selfish and give your kids opportunities.

I only went abroad three times (short haul)when I was growing up (single parent on the breadline), I was so jealous of my friends who got to go abroad all the time.

I feel sorry for your kids, not even the going abroad thing but saying you've never taken them away longer than a weekend. Poor kids.
I never went abroad as a child. I'm not one for lying by a pool all day but there's some fabulous culture and cities or mountain walking etc in Spain that you and your kids are missing out on.

Babachuk I meant, if the OP is happy at home and knows what she likes, chances are she won't like this, as she feels strongly about it.

I have been "abroad" and yes of course, places vary. But OP clearly wants to stay in England and I really don't know why some people refuse to understand that.

I'll spend the holiday hating him it won't be fun

Good God! Well of course if you go in with that mentality you will! Who the hell sits there and plans to make their holiday miserable for everyone? Maybe you should consider a new mindset. Its not fair on your family otherwise, and yes you do need to consider them because currently you are being very selfish.

@GreytExpectations see I'd be all up for walks and sightseeing but the other 4 wouldn't. They would sit on a beach all day and be in the pool and that's so boring to me. It wouldn't be an enjoyable experience because no one would be on the same page. Their holiday is different to mine.

Frankly, you need to get a grip.

The only valid point you raise is about the villa with a pool; but you could check whether or not the pool is fenced and choose somewhere else if it is unsafe.

You have written the whole of the rest of the world off as not worth seeing and seem determined to limit your children's horizons. "Losing your shit" and engaging in slanging matches are choices. You could adjust your attitude, do some research about where might be interesting to visit and try to enjoy yourself.. That way you will not spoil everyone else's holiday.

The only reason you are struggling with the forms is because you want to find an excuse not to go

You can go on walks while they sit by the pool - presumably this is what you do in Cornwall anyway?

*I meant, if the OP is happy at home and knows what she likes, chances are she won't like this, as she feels strongly about it.

I have been "abroad" and yes of course, places vary. But OP clearly wants to stay in England and I really don't know why some people refuse to understand that.*

Because its ignorant to assume that you'll dislike something as big as going to another country until you have tried it. It is also incredibly self centered to make her family stay in England and go to Cornwall or Devon year after year when they all want to go to Spain. Her children and DH deserve to have fun, different experiences. They have been doing it her way for up to 17 years!

When did your DH last go on holiday abroad?

September he went to Vegas. Before that was last may to turkey.

Wow. What a small world it must be to you and such a limited life? You really have no interest in seeing other counties?

Don't restrict your kids from travel and make them end up like you. If you really can't be bothered to step outside your comfort zone, encourage them to go without you.

Another one who thinks that ‘abroad’ is not just a pool in a villa.
Actually you have never been away for a week? Your children haven’t even been to other parts of the UK? So just Cornwall and Devon for a weekend?? I think it’s importanf (within financial reason) for my kids to see the world. But then I am ‘forrin’. Eating different food, experiencing different cultural norms, seeing magnificent architecture and learning to interact with people who just not like them is for me a vital part of their upbringing. It sounds like your parents restricted you to a ‘safe space’ and you are in turn doing that to your children even though they don’t want that.

Op I'm sure it must feel a little daunting if you've never been abroad before, but try to imagine your children running around in the sunshine and having a lovely time swimming - children love that free feeling of glorious weather, not having to wear lots of clothes and being outside. Try and focus on what it will give them maybe? Also you may suprise yourself and enjoy it!

Cant you go for walks etc on your own..

I get some people are homebodies but I think the OP needs to suck it up given she has never taken them abroad before, and has never given them a week holiday ever.