Yes, you are. For so many reasons!
However it doesn't sound like this particular version of going on holiday is going to ever be appealing to you so maybe you need to do some research (or ask on here for help) to find something that you would find more acceptable.
Not going away for more than a couple of days even in the UK is a real shame. I understand a love of home comforts but that goes beyond that and is definitely limiting the opportunities for you and your children to explore new things and new places, even more locally!
So maybe you should write down a list of all the things you are most anxious about and we can think about ways to make you feel more comfortable or cope with those. eg.
Not wanting a villa with a pool - going somewhere with a communal pool that means kids can't just run in and out of your apartment/villa and straight in to water.
Liking your own bedding - take your own duvet cover and sheets so they smell right for you.
Wanting your own brand of tea - take it with you.
Not enjoying lounging in the sun but the others do - finding somewhere that has easy access to lovely walks/castles/activities and a place for the flop and sun for those who want it.
Wanting different things out of a holiday - agreeing to compromise on each person choosing a day's worth of activities and everyone else agreeing to do that happily knowing they have their own day coming up. Half the fun of any holiday anywhere is the planning and research beforehand. The more you can find out about your destination, the more fun it should be when you get there and lots of the unknowns are removed from your anxiety.
Form-filling - get someone else to do it first so you can literally copy exactly what they have done or send their version in.
Money - yeah, that's a tough one! But if you can think of a budget that gives you a holiday but doesn't break the bank completely then think of it as investing in family time and experiences. Difficult to imagine if you have never had that as a child yourself, I realise. Maybe you use the budget for one car only this year and the other car budget goes on the holiday. You get the car out of the deal.
Being ragey - why? What triggers that? Can you see a GP/hypnotist/homeopath to get to the bottom of your own triggers and strategies to cope with those? Not great to penalise your kids for that sort of behaviour.
You get the picture.
Remember, no-one has the right to dictate to everyone else and that includes both you and your husband. It seems like it has been your way for a long time, it might be time for you to open up to trying something new for a change. Just work out the best way to create a good experience for all of you.
So what WOULD you like in any kind of holiday? Where do you go for those 2/3 day breaks?