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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP gave my Easter Egg & phone to his DS

225 replies

ItsAllTitsUp49 · 23/04/2019 19:24

Just writing this seems petty but I’m just pissed off.
Due a huge change in financial circumstances I’ve recently gone back to work. I needed immediate payment & advertised for cleaning work. Within a few days I had a full diary. As many of you know it’s long hard work but to be honest I really enjoy it. I’ve been with the same clients/customers for about 6-8 weeks.
DP has been looking for work (he relied on savings previously) but doesn’t want to take anything ‘ in case a bigger opportunity comes along) . Right now £50 a day is a bigger opportunity to me !
Last week a client left me a lovely (expensive) egg. I was absolutely chuffed as it was the first ever gift/thank you I’d ever received (worked in construction for 25 years previously) .
3 months ago DP upgraded his phone & gave me his old phone (2 more newer model than my current model). I transferred everything across & it’s much better than my old one. 3 days ago his youngest (14) DS lost his phone .
We found an old phone of DPs but the screen is cracked badly & a very old model. DP doesn’t want his DS to have this phone so i had to return the phone he’d given me & I will have to have the cracked phone.
I’m reasonable- I’ve got the phone- I cannot download my everyday apps I need because it won’t upgrade to the new software . It’s a phone- I’ll manage.
Where is my Easter Egg though ? He gave it to his DS as his present.
I’m a bit fuming

OP posts:
Inniu · 23/04/2019 20:29

You haven’t said what your housing situation but do not pay for his phone, petrol, bills or food. He needs to sort himself out.

Jellyfloodagain · 23/04/2019 20:29

You seriously need to bin the cock lodger, he adds nothing to your life. Do you have children?

Littlechocola · 23/04/2019 20:31

He’s jealous that you are doing well for yourself and he’s taking what he can. He’s ‘reminding’ you that he’s the ‘boss’.

Well done on the work op. Now it’s time to look at your relationship and to continue to grow.

Youseethethingis · 23/04/2019 20:37

I feel a bit sorry for the boy tbh. His dad seems hell bent on making sure he turns into a self absorbed little arsehole in his own image.

InadvertentlyBrilliant · 23/04/2019 20:38

Well done OP for getting out there and turning your life around. Yes, you do need to sort out what you want to do about the relationship but I also just want to say please don't try hitching lifts again. I know 5 miles is a long way to walk after 9 hours of working but please keep safety at the front of your mind too.

Do you have any friends that could be trusted to do cleaning to your standard - you could end up running a cleaning company with a number of players if you're turning down lots of work and with your entrepreneurial skills!

ItsAllTitsUp49 · 23/04/2019 20:38

We rent together.
No children together.
Everything in the house - furniture wise - is mine.
If I use his car I put petrol in it.

OP posts:
itstheweekend2 · 23/04/2019 20:39

OP you need to think about some settled accommodation for yourself other than a sleeping bag in the empty neighbours property. Is there somewhere you can go, family member, friend etc until you can sort out a place you can afford on your own.

Eliza9919 · 23/04/2019 20:40

Did you have a thread before where your dp is self employed and won't take an agency cleaning job with you? As he's holding out for sporadic work? I remember that thread.

You need to leave him.

78percentLindt · 23/04/2019 20:40

I have never read a thread where my jaw has quite literally dropped more with each of your postings.
He doesn't want to take a job in case a better one comes up, you have sold your car to pay debts ( joint or his I assume), he is not working but goes off to see friends so you have to walk 5 miles after work, he gives your phone away to his son, he is irritated because he doesn't like you getting bookings and enquiries, and steals your gift from an employer to give to his son.
Stuff that! Text the son for it back, and get rid of the father. You are keeping him as he is too lazy to work, and presumably paying for the son when he visits, so you are not going to be worse off!!!
Lazy good for nothing - I've not met him, but really loathe him.

forumdonkey · 23/04/2019 20:42

Firstly good for you with your business. You sound like you're a success.

Was just wondering how long you'd been with DP and how long he's been out of work, is your home joint rented/mortgage? Is he still living on his savings or is he now sponging off you?

Kick his lazy arse out. I'm actually angry on your behalf

KataraJean · 23/04/2019 20:44

Can you get to your jobs without transport? Making sure that you can still work at your business (well done, by the way!) is your priority. Apart from that, I would be trying to get rid of the lazy chocolate thief. You deserve much better.

EmeraldShamrock · 23/04/2019 20:45

OP, I think it is the lightbulb moment to dump him, the final straw to break the camels back.
His poor DS, his DF never got him an egg, then stole yours.
You're doing really well OP, just the last bit of shit to go. Smile
I am sorry about your egg, it was very thoughtful of your employer.

Easterbunnyhashoppedoff · 23/04/2019 20:49

When I binned exh I rang ll and he was taken off the tenancy that day.

twomadefour · 23/04/2019 20:51

He could work alongside you while waiting for the 'perfect' job!
He's an arse and you'd be better off without him

Exploring · 23/04/2019 20:52

As a cleaner who saw a beautiful Easter egg sat on the side at one house & hoped it was for me, and it wasn't, gestures of appreciation are so rare I'd be gutted and it wouldn't be about the chocolate.

Also, you sound like superwoman I wish I could team up with you as your sidekick.

EmeraldShamrock · 23/04/2019 20:53

Can you afford to rent yourself, Can you have him removed from the tenancy, rent a room out or one for yourself.
Are you supporting him financially at the moment.
He needs to make big changes or jog on, with no DC, jogging on would be the best.

Dragongirl10 · 23/04/2019 20:56

Ok op two things jump out here,

One...get rid of him he is a nasty piece of work who adds nothing to your life...but you know that!

Two...Don't turn away work! find a reliable person get them to do it and take a cut say 20%...you have a business!!

Betsy86 · 23/04/2019 20:57

I dont even share my chocolate... 😬 so for some cocklodger to give away my lovely egg it would of been all out war Angry
You sound fab though op and honestly dont put up with his crap you can do much better xx

TooBusyHavingFun · 23/04/2019 20:57

Your new future awaits you OP! Go for it!

Flowers
Gruzinkerbell1 · 23/04/2019 20:59

He’s a cocklodger, and a nasty one at that. You are worth so much more.

And good for you with your business. You should be so proud! Go on girl!

lickencivers · 23/04/2019 21:04

OP how old are you? Chuck the twat out or leave the bastard. He sounds useless and a completely disrespectful arse. You can do better.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 23/04/2019 21:05

I agree with everyone else that you deserve better.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 23/04/2019 21:05

I read so many post here about women who can’t leave as they have no money as they sacrificed careers to have children. You have literally no reason to stay with him.
Kick him out.
I wouldn’t say it is because of the phone/egg he will minimise it and try and make you feel silly. When it is the straw that broke the camels back. Just say I don’t love you anymore it’s over. There will be no comeback to it.

Jellyfloodagain · 23/04/2019 21:08

No kids, house in your name, easily done then. Just tell him to leave.

churchthecat · 23/04/2019 21:09

Please tell me the house is in your name?