Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP gave my Easter Egg & phone to his DS

225 replies

ItsAllTitsUp49 · 23/04/2019 19:24

Just writing this seems petty but I’m just pissed off.
Due a huge change in financial circumstances I’ve recently gone back to work. I needed immediate payment & advertised for cleaning work. Within a few days I had a full diary. As many of you know it’s long hard work but to be honest I really enjoy it. I’ve been with the same clients/customers for about 6-8 weeks.
DP has been looking for work (he relied on savings previously) but doesn’t want to take anything ‘ in case a bigger opportunity comes along) . Right now £50 a day is a bigger opportunity to me !
Last week a client left me a lovely (expensive) egg. I was absolutely chuffed as it was the first ever gift/thank you I’d ever received (worked in construction for 25 years previously) .
3 months ago DP upgraded his phone & gave me his old phone (2 more newer model than my current model). I transferred everything across & it’s much better than my old one. 3 days ago his youngest (14) DS lost his phone .
We found an old phone of DPs but the screen is cracked badly & a very old model. DP doesn’t want his DS to have this phone so i had to return the phone he’d given me & I will have to have the cracked phone.
I’m reasonable- I’ve got the phone- I cannot download my everyday apps I need because it won’t upgrade to the new software . It’s a phone- I’ll manage.
Where is my Easter Egg though ? He gave it to his DS as his present.
I’m a bit fuming

OP posts:
Floralhousecoat · 23/04/2019 19:37

He has zero regard for you or your feelings. I would challenge him on the Easter egg and demand he sort it out, whether he asks for your egg back or buys you the same is upto him. It's not about the egg, it's so much more than that. If you kick up a fuss he will be careful not to pull stunts like this again?

What i found worrying is that it's almost like you don't matter. Is he like this in other aspects?

Leeds2 · 23/04/2019 19:39

I would think twice about this relationship. It doesn't bode well.

catsmother · 23/04/2019 19:40

Totally disrespectful behaviour. How bloody dare he.

How would he feel if you casually took something of his and gave it away? Maybe that's what you should do and when he objects - as he surely will (because most people would) you can reel off a lust of justifications such as a) didn't think it was important, b) it was 'only' a whatever, c) so and so needed it more than you, d) possessions aren't important, e) stop making a mountain out of a molehill.

Or, forget the effort involved in that and bin him off, or make plans to. It's not petty btw, a lack of basic respect is a huge consideration. Never mind his clearly superior attitude. Waiting for the 'right' opportunity ... presumably because the sort of effort you're making is beneath him. He sees you as his inferior - hence thinking your feelings and possessions don't matter.

Selfish nasty git.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 23/04/2019 19:41

What a giant arse.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 23/04/2019 19:41

The egg wouldn’t be a big deal if you had offered but to just take an expensive egg - I would definitely read it as not caring about your feelings, or hard work at all.

He sounds like he’s being a lazy sod, and that you are already unhappy.

If you aren’t living together / otherwise deeper commitments, I’d be taking a short break away to think things over....

Chickenwing · 23/04/2019 19:42

Ask him why he done this. Maybe he didn't realise it was your egg? Also why does his son need a better phone than you? Tell him it's made you feel unimportant.

TixieLix · 23/04/2019 19:42

When he took back his phone, why didn't you go back to using your "2 models older" phone that you'd had previously, rather than taking the broken old phone that used to belong to your partner? Better still, why didn't he give your old phone to his DS rather than his old broken phone?

All that aside, he sounds like a real knob and not worthy of you OP.

HundredMilesAnHour · 23/04/2019 19:43

You're a "bit fuming" OP? I'd be furious about the egg alone, or the phone alone, but to give both away? He's appalling!!

You sound far too nice for your own good, and he sounds like a selfish dick. You deserve way better than this excuse for a man.

mbosnz · 23/04/2019 19:44

So he's trying to be the Big I Am, with his son, literally at your expense?

Ninkaninus · 23/04/2019 19:44

He wouldn’t be my partner for even one day longer, I’m afraid.

You should have just said no, absolutely not, about the phone.

And he absolutely should not have taken your gift, that belonged to you, and given it away without your permission. The fact he felt able to do that sends a terrible message about who he is.

Utterly out of order. He has no respect for you and is completely selfish and entitled.

Candleglow7475 · 23/04/2019 19:44

I feel so sorry for you (re the egg) he’s a selfish arse and I would consider it stealing tbh ☹️.
Also he should get a job so he can afford stuff for his son rather than stealing your stuff.

ItWentInMyEye · 23/04/2019 19:44

What a dick.

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 23/04/2019 19:44

It's almost like he knows that you've got a successful business going and your clients appreciate you and he didn't like that so he got rid of the thing that symbolised it?

ItsAllTitsUp49 · 23/04/2019 19:44

As far as I don’t matter - yes sometimes.
Probably small things : we only have 1 car because I sold mine because we needed the money for bills. He needs to see his DSs so needs his car.
Last week I had a cleaning appointment which he knew about but went to see a friend. I walked 5 miles home after a 9 hour day cleaning because there was no buses. I tried hitching but had no luck

OP posts:
Downthecanal · 23/04/2019 19:45

He is a lazy selfish dickhead.

TacoLover · 23/04/2019 19:46

He's a fucking dickhead. I'm not even joking leave him.

Downthecanal · 23/04/2019 19:46

After you last post - he’d be gone I’m afraid. Wake up.

Ninkaninus · 23/04/2019 19:46

You really need to stop debasing yourself like that. You matter, your needs matter, and you ought to stop acting as if you are inconsequential. You’re not.

MuddyMoose · 23/04/2019 19:47

This actually makes me feel so sad for you. He has absolutely no respect for you or your feelings. why should you always go without? 😔

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 23/04/2019 19:48

I've only ever posted LTB once or twice because I think it's widely overused however this is a situation where I would seriously consider LTB.

He doesn't care about you or your feelings. All these situations you've described are awful.

ItsAllTitsUp49 · 23/04/2019 19:48

@FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 - absolutely. He hates that I’ve put myself out there & im succeeding.
He hates my phone pinging with new enquires.
More so I think he hates that I’ve got myself a life

OP posts:
ScrambledSmegs · 23/04/2019 19:49

Bin him. Please. He doesn't value you in the slightest. He should be falling over himself to appreciate you, instead of treating you like something he's scraped off his shoe.

FrancisCrawford · 23/04/2019 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lablablab · 23/04/2019 19:49

He sounds lazy and selfish and it seems like he has literally no respect for you at all! Confused

What a mean and spiteful thing to do!

I'd demand he got a job, any job, immediately. (He could even help you, couldn't he?!) and replace the god damn egg.

Thisnamechanger · 23/04/2019 19:49

OP I've never met him but I already literally hate the selfish cocklodging chocolate thief