DH insists we go out to eat with kids, but I don't want to. AIBU?

[NoHolidaysforyou]

I have two year olds that for some reason seem to take it in turns to have meltdowns at restaurants. I do not want to go out. We have tried iPads and all that, but they don't care. My DH insists we still go out and try to teach them to behave well. I think generally some kids just behave well and some don't. Ours don't. I don't want to go out anymore, AIBU?

Yanbu that sounds terrible - could you get a chippy and have a picnic?

Could you just go somewhere child friendly like pizza express or something like that.

YANBU. Nope, no going out.

That's a great idea! Honestly we would have to wait for better weather though.

What's the rush? Try again when they are four perhaps?

My DH insists we still go out and try to teach them to behave well.

I don't believe this will work. You have to be as strict with them at home as you would out and about else you've already lost.

DH is always undermining me re table manners at home and I HATE eating out with the DC. And mine are much older.

I feel like our kids would be the worst at Pizza Express

God no. We could just about take my eldest out for meals as she was the quietest and calmest toddler. There is no chance with my youngest. He won't sit in a high chair, won't stay on a normal chair, wants to climb on the table etc. Too much hard work.

Let him take them by himself.

I agree with your husband they have to learn to behave when out, but maybe 2 year's old is a bit young yet.

Too young imo

What kind of places do you go to?

You need to start with quick in-and-out places, e.g. cheese toasties for lunch in a cafe. Then work up.

And I agree with a Outdoor, same standards at home re sitting at table etc.

We always took ours to eat out.
At that age, we took crayons and colouring books so they could scribble, those organic crisp type snacks which we gave them if they started to get a bit whiney (just a few so they wouldn’t get full up) and we only ever ate a main course so we could leave as soon as possible.
Most of the time it was ok.

I’d suggest playing restaurants at home for a bit and being very consistent with table manners. If they’re allowed to shout/get up/run around at meal times at home then they’ll expect to be able to do the same in restaurants. They’re only little and don’t know the difference

Master it at home first

My husband says that his mum took him and his sis to restaurants at 6 months old so he doesn't agree about leaving it until they're four years old. I feel like this is just torture really, I would love to wait.

Don't bother. It's too stressful and you won't enjoy it so it's a complete waste of money.
Get a takeaway instead.
And I agree with the poster who said wait until they're four. Two is too young to instill the virtues of perfect table manners and hanging around in restaurants.

How do they behave at the table at home? Also eating out with toddlers means going somewhere where the food comes quickly, you eat drink and get out!

Two is to young for a meal out.
Could you go somewhere like a coffee shop for 20mins?
My daughter is 4 and even now she can get bored if we are eating a full meal out. Especially if our food arrives before hers!

I think it's quite sad that you wouldn't ever eat out, you do need to be instilling good table behaviour into them - exactly the same at home as it would in a restaurant.

Let him do it

Six months old is easy. They just sleep in the carrycot under the table.

Actually I did your DH technique and feel like it has served us well in the long run.

I was recommended to go to places we know and like and have fairly quick service, go for lunch or brunch and have a bag of small cheap toys.

Dont feed the kids first (a common misconception in restaurants) because they finish, get bored and then you're quickly trying to inhale your food whilst theyve gone feral and you all need to leave.

Leave the grandparents at home.

If he is so keen then he can take them. Are you (both of you) consistent about eating at the table, good table manners etc cos if you're not then he can't expect them to magically learn it when they are out.

We started at weaning age, having DD in the high chair at the table and eating our dinner with her unless we waited til after bed time.

They are fine at home, not sure why they play up at restaurants. We just tried to go to TGI Fridays and we left before we were seated at a table because one of them started to have a meltdown.