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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how old you were?

586 replies

HarrysOwl · 12/04/2019 07:35

When you got married? (If you're married!)

I was reading a BBC article about a woman talking about the judgement and negativity she encountered when she announced her engagement aged 22.

I was 32 when I married DH. We were together for 3 years, got engaged then lived together for another 4 years before having our wedding. I wanted to be as sure as I could be and felt no rush.

Is there a general judgement with feminist overtones about getting married so young? Are they doomed to divorce?

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 12/04/2019 07:37

I was 24. Been married for 30 years.

pontiouspilates · 12/04/2019 07:37

We met when I was 24 and got married when I was 29.

ChristinaMarlowe · 12/04/2019 07:38

Got married at 36

hidinginthenightgarden · 12/04/2019 07:38

I was 24. We already had a child together so no judgement here. Been married 5 years now.

Bluntness100 · 12/04/2019 07:38

We met when I was twenty, got married at 25, will have been married 25 years in the summer. He is three years older. I had my daughter when I was 28.

yogafailure · 12/04/2019 07:39

22 Now 49..still very happily married.

Milly90 · 12/04/2019 07:39

I have been married 6 years this year
Engaged at 21 and married at 23
And I had alot of negative pushback from family members who just couldn't understand why as I was do young doomed to divorce HAHAHA not yet anyway DH and i are extremely happy and in love and have been through some extremely tough times and are stronger than ever!
This year is 11 years together too

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 12/04/2019 07:41

34, been with DH from 25. Didn't see the rush to get married we wanted to travel, establish careers, buy a house before paying for a wedding, or was important to us to be able to appropriately accommodate our guests (unlike the CF stories you hear on here a lot, 'oh come to our wedding, bring a gift but you can't bring your long term partner and you'll have to leave whole we have our meal then come back for the evening'). I did want to be married before we had children that was the only timeline really. Most of my social circle are 30ish (give or take) when they get married other than a couple I know from uni, very religious, no sex before marriage etc. They got married the year after we graduated. 22 is fairly young to marry these days but I wouldn't judge someone for it

Treaclepie19 · 12/04/2019 07:44

Got together at 16, married at 23, still together now at almost 29.

HopeAndJoy16 · 12/04/2019 07:44

I got married at 25. I met my DH when i was 21, but no way was i emotionally ready for marriage at that point. In fact we broke up for a couple of years, berore getting back together. Been married 5 years this year.

nespressowoo · 12/04/2019 07:45
  1. Had Ben together for 6 years and pretty much lived together all that time too. 32 now and one DC
megrichardson · 12/04/2019 07:45

Marriage no1 = i was 19
marriage no2 = i was 56

Now happily divorced.

I don't think there's a right or wrong age to get married.

Isth · 12/04/2019 07:45

I’ll be 25, he’ll be 26, we’re marrying in July. We’ve had a couple of ‘oh but you’re so young!’ comments, which surprised me to be honest. Around here, I’d say we’re rather average!

insancerre · 12/04/2019 07:45

20
Been together for a whole year by the time we got married
Been married for 32 years

CookieSwirlC · 12/04/2019 07:46

Met when I was 18, moved in together at 23, married at 25.

morefoolyou · 12/04/2019 07:46

Met at 21, engaged 24, married at 27. That was 10 years ago 🥰
My little sister got married at 25 and my sil at 24. They got a few negative comments, but nothing major

longwayoff · 12/04/2019 07:46

18 and stupid with it.

Figgygal · 12/04/2019 07:47

Met at 22
Married 26

Now 38

YouBumder · 12/04/2019 07:47

Nearly 30. Been together 6 years

AssassinatedBeauty · 12/04/2019 07:47

Why do you think the negative reactions have a feminist overtone? I wouldn't have thought that at all.

I think people are generally cynical of marriage these days, given the lowering uptake and the rising divorce rates. Combine that with being young, and people are probably simply cynical of the relationship lasting. Many relationships that people have in their early twenties are not the long term life relationship.

implantsandaDyson · 12/04/2019 07:47

I got engaged at 22 and married just after my 24th birthday. We've been married for 20 years. We had our kids in our 30s.

Ragwort · 12/04/2019 07:48

I consider I did get married too young (for me), my first marriage was when I was aged 23 and we were married less than two years. No acrimony, but very different attitudesand approaches to life, I married my second husband aged 30 & have been married 30 years. I know everyone is different etc etc but I do consider early 20s very young to commit yourself to marriage.

Dontstepinthecowpat · 12/04/2019 07:49

Met when I was 18, married at 22. Four kids and 13 years later still happily married.

isabellerossignol · 12/04/2019 07:49

I got married at 23 and have been married for 20 years. People were a bit negative about it but we had already been together for six years by the time we got married and had always been happy together - no dramas or splitting up and getting back together or anything. We didn't see any point in waiting another five years just to satisfy other people. I don't think it was an un-feminist choice, but I accept that it could have gone wrong, as any marriage can.

JoeMaplin · 12/04/2019 07:50
  1. Been together since I was 18. (21 years this year)