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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how old you were?

586 replies

HarrysOwl · 12/04/2019 07:35

When you got married? (If you're married!)

I was reading a BBC article about a woman talking about the judgement and negativity she encountered when she announced her engagement aged 22.

I was 32 when I married DH. We were together for 3 years, got engaged then lived together for another 4 years before having our wedding. I wanted to be as sure as I could be and felt no rush.

Is there a general judgement with feminist overtones about getting married so young? Are they doomed to divorce?

OP posts:
weebarra · 12/04/2019 08:14

18 when we met, 25 when we got married, now both 41 and still together!

Catren · 12/04/2019 08:14

Met at 23, married at 29. I wanted to be married by 30 (to my dh obvs, not just anyone!) to start a family as i was worried about infertility due to my mother's struggles. Baby 1 at 32, baby 2 due in October and I'll be 36. So we've been together 13 years this year, married for 7. Happy despite some rocky patches! Between 28-30 was the age most of our friends got married.

Camomila · 12/04/2019 08:14

Met at 20, engaged at 25 and married at 26. Everyone was happy for us.

In both our uni and home friends there were lots of weddings and first babies between 25-30.

Pippa12 · 12/04/2019 08:15

Met at 17, married at 25, 9 year wedding anniversary this year and still going strong

Rainbowcolours1 · 12/04/2019 08:16

22 and he was 23, still together 32 years later. Our son got married last year aged 23, we were delighted. Yes you change, you grow, it's not always easy, but you do it together.

Harvey3 · 12/04/2019 08:17

Met at 21, married at 25. Think that's pretty average age where I live.

heartshapedknob · 12/04/2019 08:17

Met at 21, married at 25 because children were being planned - I’d have been happy to wait but he is older.
In hindsight, even though it’s worked out okay, I was too young and wish we’d waited ten years so I could have established a career and not been a SAHM.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 12/04/2019 08:18

24
34
45
Blush

Alfiemoon1 · 12/04/2019 08:18

Met when I was 17 he is 8 years older got married when I was 23 been married 19 years this year

researchandbiscuitfan · 12/04/2019 08:18

Met at 25, married day after I turned 28 (he was 27), had our children at 30 and 32, DH diagnosed with cancer at 33, died aged 37.

Everyone said we were perfect together. We didn’t have anywhere near long enough 😭

Mummyme87 · 12/04/2019 08:18

I was 26 and OH was 35 when we met, had first baby at 27, engaged at 30, 2nd baby the day before I turned 31 and we are getting married in April 2020 and I will be 33.
I would say, in the present day 22 is young to get married in the U.K but not wrong

HoumiLoomi · 12/04/2019 08:18

Met at 18, had DS1 at 19 married at 20 had DS2 at 23. People judged but years on we still have one of the strongest relationships I know. We’ve grown up together.

kb1992 · 12/04/2019 08:18

Met at 15, married at 25, been married almost 7 months now

haverhill · 12/04/2019 08:20

Met at 26, married at 34. Had had several fairly serious relationships before.

DinosApple · 12/04/2019 08:20

Who Grin
Engaged at 21.
Engaged again (someone else) at 24.
Married 25.

Catren · 12/04/2019 08:21

research 💐

Snowdropheaven · 12/04/2019 08:23

I think if you're lucky enough to meet 'the one' at that age then it's lovely. The guy I was with when I was 22, who I thought was the one, is really a bit of an arse. I didn't meet my fiancée to be until I was 30 (I'm now 33). We are getting married next year and had a baby in February.

BlackPatch · 12/04/2019 08:25

Families had known each other for years, started dating at 18 (he was 23), engaged just over a year later and married when I was 20. Been married 8 years now and very happy with our two cats!

AuntieCJ · 12/04/2019 08:27

Met at 17
Engaged at 19
Married at 24
Still married 40+ years later.

Pinkarsedfly · 12/04/2019 08:28

First time I was 23. Got divorced after 15 horrible years.

Just about to take the plunge again on my 45th birthday.

larry5 · 12/04/2019 08:30

I met dh when I was 18 and got married at 19 (day before my 20th birthday) and we are still together 47 years later. I had children at 22, 26 and 40 and I wouldn't be without dh.

He had prostate cancer a few years ago and I was devastated at the thought of losing him. He is ok now.

MintyCedric · 12/04/2019 08:31

We met and got engaged when I was 21 and he was 27, married when I was 27 and separated when I was 40, now divorced.

Quite honestly if my DD told me she was getting engaged/married at 21, I'd be absolutely horrified.

Turquoisetamborine · 12/04/2019 08:31

I got married at 26 (just!). I deliberately booked it just after my birthday as it sounded more respectable than getting married at 25.
We’d been together three years at that point. Happily married now 13 years on with two lovely children and a happy home.

facedowninthedirt · 12/04/2019 08:31

I got married when I was 19. He was a dickhead. I was divorced by 23.

Had we not been married, I would have left much earlier but something about that bloody piece of paper made me think it had to be more than just a shit relationship.

I don’t think I’ll remarry. The person I discovered when I told ex-H I was leaving him, made me realise you can absolutely never believe anyone is who they say they are!

aprilshowers12 · 12/04/2019 08:32

Met at 16. Married at 24. Divorced at 36