To be annoyed at friend

[popsadaisy]

I have a hen party planned to go to Magaluf later this year which my sister has been organising for me. There is a big group chat with all of us in (14 of us) and we are using a company who have organised airport transfers and different things to do whilst we're there, plus hotel etc. My sister made it clear before every paid the £25 deposit that they must be 100% sure they are coming and not drop out before they pay as this will put the price up for the rest of the party. Everyone paid and since then a friend has had to drop out because she's pregnant which is absolutely fair enough. Today another friend has messaged me and said she doesn't think she can come anymore because she works term time. I replied asking why she agreed to come if she works term time? And she's just replied to me and said well she thought she would have a new job by now and doesn't. This trip isn't until September and the whole trip needs to be paid for 6 weeks before. AIBU to be really annoyed at her? She's also showing no remorse and getting arsey with me in her replies (stopped putting kisses and putting a lot of !!!!!)

@fc301 I told you not to read behind the lines and assume because you said I shouldn't expect 13 friends to pay for a trip for my hen. When I wasn't expecting them too, they were invited by my sister and accepted the invitation knowing the price. I don't think that was me being arsey, sorry.

You asked why she dropped out and I told you. I wasn't attacking people that don't agree with me I was arguing my point.
One comment on this thread has even been deleted by admin because it was so offensive. I have been debating not attacking.

@popsadaisy I don’t think you have told me? Only that she said she was getting a job and now she doesn’t. I don’t think that’s a good answer. All it’s telling me is that you haven’t bothered to check with your friend.
I could be wrong but can’t be bothered to read through thread again.

Because a small number were rude, you treated us all with aggressive responses. YOU SHOUTED AT ME REMEMBER. I don’t think I was initially rude. Became frustrated after a while as you were unable to accept anyone’s POV who disagreed with you.

I'd be annoyed. She could have just said she couldn't come to it in the first place. I've not been able to go to a hen do last summer after agreeing (something came up and it was either then hen do or the wedding) but I accepted that I'd agreed and would never have expected other people to pay more because I couldn't then make it.

A few points @popsadaisy

1. it is your choice (or your sister's) as to the venue
2. yes, hen (and stag dos) have become very expensive BUT no one has to come. In the words of MN 'it's an invitation not a summons'
3. you are right NOT to be upset with pregnant friend
4. you are right to be VERY upset with teacher friend

Maybe first thing to do is contact the organising company and see if you can reduce numbers; should be ok with this much notice.
I hope it all works out and you have a fab time 🥂 👰🏻

@Witchtower there is nothing more I can tell you other than what I know and tbh I don't think she could tell me anymore she expected to have a new job by now but there is nothing out there for her so she doesn't. And if I questioned her further about it I'm pretty sure that would be me coming off as an arse so either way I can't really win with you. I've said more than twice now that I accept you POV and see where you are coming from. I'm not sure what else you want from me? The caps were because I was just repeating myself, I thought caps might mean I wouldn't have to repeat again but clearly not. I've noted how people are able to dish it out on here but not happy to take it back. Sorry if you felt attacked by me that wasn't my intention just trying to argue my point. I've frustrated you, you've frustrated me. I'm pretty sure you aren't really that bothered about my hen or who attends so let's just leave it at that shall we? :)

@Justkeeprollingalong @coral13 thanks guys! You two can come and join me in the unreasonable club 😂😂

@popsadaisy tbh I thought the thread was done until someone tagged me in it today.

The reason for all the questions was actually so I could see it more from your POV. Hoping I’d have more sympathy.

I think if you hadn’t mentioned being ok with your pregnant friend dropping out then I’d understand where you were coming from much more.

People taking the piss out of Magaluf is uncalled for as it’s your choice. Sounds cheesy, which I think a hen do should be. I love cheesy.

I would strongly suggest your sis gets at least another £100 from each guest by the end of May, then possibly another £100 by the end of June and the last £50 closer to the date. I would be more concerned about people dropping out a month before the hol as they can’t afford it.

Hope you have a lovely hen do!

We'll be coming on the hen if anyone else drops out!

@Witchtower
Yes that's good advice I think we will have to do that. I think if we just say to people if you don't want to come say now and we'll sort it (contact the hen company and see if we can reduce numbers without anyone else having to pay the bill) and if you do want to come then can you pay £100 by X date.
And thank you I'm sure it will all get sorted one way or another :)

@Justkeeprollingalong 😂😂😂 well there's one place going so far so you're in luck?! 😉