Page 29 | The Mumsnet ideal

Home77 · 2019-04-03T09:14:02+00:00

You have to: Have big house in the country Work, both of you, all the hours you can to afford this. Drive everywhere Get a cleaner If you have e.g. a flat, in the town, that is not a 'proper home' If you don't work all the hours you can, you are lazy Ditto for driving.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 18/04/2019 16:31

Fruit bowls are common, silly.

Shitshitshitshit · 18/04/2019 16:49

People actually put fruit in their fruit bowls.

recklessgran · 18/04/2019 17:01

Oh @Trendy surely you know that fruit bowls are only for visitors and only for displaying faux pineapples and other exotic fruits that nobody knows how to prepare let alone enjoys eating !

Borntobedifferent · 18/04/2019 17:06

hates anyone who votes Tory and believes you should send your kid to the local comp like they did.

Forget to mention they moved to a 600k house in a naice area with some of the top comps in the country.

Also thinks it's disgusting how poorer people are treated but when they find out the house down the road is about to house a family of 7 living on benefits and one of them has a motorbike they come on here clutching their pearls to complain. I mean they want to help those worse off but don't want them on their street!

badlydrawnperson · 18/04/2019 17:10

@Borntobedifferent

Has stopped using single use coffee cups and plastic straws and bought an electric car.

Takes a long haul family holiday every year.

badlydrawnperson · 18/04/2019 17:12

@recklessgran

I thought the super fluffy white towels were in place of a toilet brush (which would be illegal).

recklessgran · 18/04/2019 17:19

Oh shite - are they illegal? I'll have to get rid quickly as heaven forbid I can't possibly have anything illegal in my house. Will get to tip asap.
Thanks for letting me know @badlydrawnperson.

Practicallyperfectwithprosecco · 18/04/2019 17:25

Did anyone mention not drinking alcohol until your children are at least 65 in case you need to drive to hospital?

Oakenbeach · 18/04/2019 17:26

You believe it’s better for a child to be killed whilst crossing a road with a parent than for that child to be left in a car unharmed.

woodhill · 18/04/2019 17:28

Don't forget the chicken that does for 5 meals

ChiaraRimini · 18/04/2019 17:33

If you have no money for food, just sell some things on eBay.
Anyone can afford a house deposit or private school fees if only they didn't buy takeaway coffee or get their nails done.

Oakenbeach · 18/04/2019 17:33

You believe that if someone isn’t totally up to speed in this month’s PC acceptable vocabulary to describe BAME individuals (is BAME still ok?) and uses a word that isn’t in the currently acceptable lexicon, it can’t simply be an unfortunate faux-pas, they are racist!

Original poster

Home77 · 18/04/2019 21:18

You earn vast amounts of money but still feel poor (tiny violin)

OP posts:

Original poster

Home77 · 18/04/2019 21:20

You must display a pineapple in your fruit bowl when expecting visitors

Oh...MIL keeps buying us such a pineapple and it does kind of sit about, meant o use it then it goes off. Maybe it is the done thing!

OP posts:

headinhands · 19/04/2019 16:14

If you have a bbq it's a chimney your artist dh fashioned out of clay from the Andes or somewhere. You don't cook burgers and sausages, unless your being ironic. The salad has been harvested that morning from the co-op allotment you run in Tooting where you support ex sex workers as part of a rehabilitation programme you worked on while you were studying in New York. And while you were there you dated a AA list celeb but it's all hush.

headinhands · 19/04/2019 16:16

OH MY GOD my EYES. Sorry about my spelling and grammar and all that.

QueenOfIce · 19/04/2019 17:47

If you have a bbq it's a chimney your artist dh fashioned out of clay from the Andes or somewhere. You don't cook burgers and sausages, unless your being ironic. The salad has been harvested that morning from the co-op allotment you run in Tooting where you support ex sex workers as part of a rehabilitation programme you worked on while you were studying in New York. And while you were there you dated a AA list celeb but it's all hush.

🤣

Aridane · 19/04/2019 17:52

Ooh - I have another one!

When you fly long haul, you never - and I repeat, never- recline your seat. Even on a night flight. You sit ramrod straight. To do otherwise is the height of rudeness and a fundamental lack of consideration

BluntAndToThePoint · 19/04/2019 19:17

You should never complain to your neighbours about anything even if they are making your life a misery. This includes semi-feral children, inconsiderate car parking, noise 24 hours a day, stealing your bin, etc. You should complain on here but not to the actual people involved!

Aridane · 22/04/2019 16:27

Ah, yes - and now matter how appalling the constant crying / screaming of neighbours’ small children is, you must not say anything (eg request the neighbours move the bed of the screamer away from the adjoining wall because ^the crying is so much worse for them than from you*

Aridane · 22/04/2019 16:29

It is an acceptable response to an argument or suspicion of infidelity to put out DH’s possessions outside in bin bags and change the locks to his house

Jodie571 · 22/04/2019 16:43

@Aridane that’s hilarious!!!!!! Omg I can’t stop laughing

Jodie571 · 22/04/2019 16:44

Thank you OP for starting this thread, seriously has made my day!

SecretWitch · 22/04/2019 16:49

You must swing far to the left and believe anyone who disagrees with you is “thick”

If you are a landlord, you are a pos and should just give your flat to your renters.

Jodie571 · 22/04/2019 17:07

Oh and god forbid if you make a mistake with your grammar it means you are a terrible parent and need to go back to school - private school. State schools are simply not good enough and mean your child will grow up to be one of those teenagers who talk back