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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The Mumsnet ideal

768 replies

Home77 · 03/04/2019 10:14

You have to: Have big house in the country
Work, both of you, all the hours you can to afford this.
Drive everywhere
Get a cleaner

If you have e.g. a flat, in the town, that is not a 'proper home'
If you don't work all the hours you can, you are lazy
Ditto for driving.

OP posts:
headinhands · 07/04/2019 09:40

You don't actually like your friends, you keep them in your life so you can enjoy judging them for how they feed their kids/how messy their house is and everything other life choice they make.

LoisWilkerson1 · 07/04/2019 13:46

If two friends have a coffee without you they despise you and are psychopaths plotting destroy you. Hmm

Hopingtobeamum · 08/04/2019 00:26

😂😂 brilliant. You must also moan about the most ridiculous of things and have numerous first world problems!
You must also have far too much time on your hands to moan about said problems

Oakenbeach · 08/04/2019 07:36

MN Poster 1
I’ve NC for this - 17th time I’ve gone incognito this year - I had to as I know I’ve got quite a following on here and am something of a minor MN celeb (not MN royalty - that would be arrrogant of me), and I’m worried that someone will “out” me if I mention that I’m frustrated that my DH’s “hobby” (that I will under no circumstances divulge even under pain of death!) takes him away from us EVERY weekend, ALL weekend, and every weekday evening bar one each month.

MN Poster 2
You are being ultra controlling and abusive to even moan on MN about this. Your DH has a right to a hobby! My DH works away for 8 weeks at a time with 1 day back before his next assignment and it never crosses my mind to be upset in the slightest, and I have triplets under 1 and quads under 2 with absolutely no help from any family or friends.... Btw I still DTD with DH at least four-times a week!

InMyCorner · 08/04/2019 08:22

If your life long friend, who's friendship is invaluable to you, even looks in another mans direction you must throw away everything to go behind her back and tell her husband. You must not even think twice about this and do it without a moments hesitation otherwise you will burn in hell.

Anyone who is getting married must provide a five course meal and free bar to all guests and every single moment of the day must be child welcoming. You cannot expect guests to wait around for 10 minutes whilst you have photos taken otherwise you are inconsiderate and rude. The day isn't about you! It's about your mother's aunties, friends child after all!

You must accept all inappropriate and nasty behavior from a first wife if you have dared to wed a man who's been married before. The fact that they divorced 20 years ago and their children are now adults is no matter, you are practically the other woman and deserve to be treated as such.

CarmineStarman · 08/04/2019 10:46

You believe every male out there is hell bent on sexually assaulting your DD. Including her five year old brother, which is why nobody can share a room. Sharing a room is some obscure from of child abuse because all MN children are fiercely protective of their own private space and BOUNDARIES. As you are an MN mum, you have never hugged, kissed or tickled your children without a months notice in written form and a scrupulous legal contract. You have also never allowed anyone to look or smile at your DC and God forbid they get upset at what another child has done because it's not child's play, IT IS ASSAULT AND ABUSE AND YOUR CHILD'S RIGHT TO EVERLASTING HAPPINESS HAS BEEN INFRINGED.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 08/04/2019 11:03

@CarmineStarman so true 😂😂

headinhands · 08/04/2019 11:10

You have never put a photo of your children on FB or anywhere. Family and friends have signed a contract that bars them from doing so as well. When out or at school your child wears a veil as no one has the right to see your child's face other than you, your husband and your mum.

InMyCorner · 08/04/2019 12:07

no one has the right to see your child's face other than you, your husband and your mum

But not your DHs mum of course as she's just a controlling narc who's sole purpose in life is to take over and criticize everything you do.

BarbaraofSevillle · 08/04/2019 12:18

Carmine

YY, there are two threads running at the moment where the OPs are being torn to shreds because they didn't ensure that, in all possible circumstances, they would be able to ensure that every single one of their offspring would have their own bedrooms, for the rest of their lives if necessary.

Blended families, unexpected pregnancies or multiple births, special needs, increasing house prices or other unpredictable changes in circumstances are no excuse whatsover, they should have planned for all possible changes in circumstances. Because the right of every child to have their own bedroom is sacrosanct. Teens especially need private space to study and masturbate in peace, and are likely to be sex pests to younger siblings if this need is not met.

headinhands · 08/04/2019 12:49

But not your DHs mum of course as she's just a controlling narc who's sole purpose in life is to take over and criticize everything you do.

Natch

nelsonmuntzslingshot · 08/04/2019 14:54

If you dare to buy your small child a plastic toy you are singlehandedly contributing to the distraction of planet earth “through buying mountains of plastic tat” and you deserve to be publicly hung, drawn and quartered.

QueenOfIce · 08/04/2019 15:09

You must start thread after thread about your anger over Brexit, when asked for actual facts regarding our situation you must adopt every politicians stance and ignore the question. Every. Single. Time.

Polarbearflavour · 08/04/2019 17:38

Must have a BMI of 20 or under or you feel fat. You still need to “tone up” though naturally! Heck, your BMI is 18 and you still feel “chubby.”

Shutuptodd · 08/04/2019 17:40

You could not possibly eat more than one square of chocolate in a week.

InMyCorner · 08/04/2019 17:52

My child eats no sugar and they absolutely love all fruit and veg. As a treat, they are allowed a small helping of plain natural yogurt hand knitted by Jesus himself once a week.

Never have they ever seen or even heard of a chicken nugget. And they have never had a bag of crisps or glass of pop.

And my personal favourite...

If you haven't lived with someone for 40 years, owned 4 houses together, been through at least 10 major life events with and birthed 7 children by them don't you DARE have the absolute audacity to call them your partner. For you have not yet proved yourself worthy of bestowing such a title and you must remain as boyfriend and girlfriend until at least 3 of the above criteria have been met (and even then you're pushing it).

Aridane · 11/04/2019 18:56

Oh, and you and your DP are A TEAM

moonfacebaby · 11/04/2019 19:28

Squash is the devils piss - children must only drink milk or water (& all of their children can’t bare the taste of it anyway).

Grandparents must never help out with grand kids - you had kids, therefore you must now live an eternity of martyrdom, trying to juggle everything.

If your partner/husband cheats, the OW is totally blameless.

If you’re a single parent, never ever have a relationship until your children have left home. Do not let them come into contact with any men at all - most men who want to date a single parent are paedophiles.

nelsonmuntzslingshot · 11/04/2019 21:44

By putting “Daily Mail you can fuck right off you bunch of cunts” at the beginning of your post automatically means that the Daily Mail wouldn’t dare to reprint your post with the disclaimer at the beginning redacted. Let’s also not mention that half the time the post is so bloody boring that the Daily Mail would have to be having a nonexistent news day to touch it with a barge pole.

FloydWasACat · 11/04/2019 22:11

Well this thread has made me back in a happier place! Grin

FloydWasACat · 11/04/2019 22:12

“Daily Mail you can fuck right off you bunch of cunts”

Contraceptionismyfriend · 11/04/2019 23:05

House insurance. House insurance solves all problems ever. Fact.

Scuffed something. Claim it on your house insurance.

huntinghighandlow · 12/04/2019 00:29

If someone parks a bit over your driveway, you have come back indoors, draw a diagram and ask advice on what to do.

Coolcoolcoolcoolcool · 12/04/2019 08:17

You must be an introvert as it's far more interesting than being an extrovert.

If anyone comes to stay at your house for a couple of days, you must be allowed frequent breaks to ignore them and take yourself off with a book for several hours at a time as its just 'so draining'. Your DH needs to do all the entertaining, cooking, pot washing etc, as they're his friends you don't have any

Far be it that you're mildly inconvenienced, but put on a smile and fake it like a normal person- even introverts are capable of this.

Catchingbentcoppers · 12/04/2019 09:32

If there are any issues with your MIL you must not deal with them yourself. It's up to your DH as she's his mother, so you must step back and let your man sort everything. God forbid, you have an actual conversation, like a proper adult, with your MIL and try to resolve any problem. DH must do it or he's the problem and if he doesn't do your bidding as you expect, you have a DH problem not a MIL one.