To be absolutely fuming at midwife re.breach of confidentiality?!?

[cheesepleez]

We haven’t told anyone we are pregnant. Made a massive effort to keep it hidden until the 20 week scan which hasn’t happened yet. Found out our neighbour who we don’t get on with and who is also pregnant apparently knows we are expecting. As we haven’t told anyone, and I’m not even showing, I can only assume the community midwife has mentioned to this lady “your neighbour is pregnant too”.
To me this is a massive breach of confidentiality and we haven’t even told friends and family yet. It’s my flipping medical info. Am I BU?? Or should I be able to expect my midwife not to discuss other patients??

This thread is embarrassing The OP has said she’s anxious about the 20 week scan because of issues in the past. That implies to me she’s had a baby who had some sort of medical issue at the anomaly scan. She’s being asked why she’s having extra scans, what the difference would be between 18 and 20, mocked for saying ‘we are pregnant’ and told she’s planning on ruining a career.... are there only a few of us noticing that the OP is clearly anxious for good reason and maybe it’s not a ‘childish thrill’ that’s keeping her from announcing her pregnancy to the world?

Good luck at the scan OP. I hope all is well with the baby.

I totally agree Bob I posted quite a while back and it’s got even worse on here.

Read the full thread before commenting on the original posting - literally with 17 pages of course the OP has posted updates & unfortunately had a name change fail. How boring are you lot to shot your opinion in without bothering to read anything further than the first post 🤨 so annoying and obnoxious

There have been some horrendously unkind replies to threads posted by new mothers on here over the last week or so. The poor new mum who was stressed about sorting her 6 week check at the GP comes to mind, she was absolutely slaughtered 😒.

It’s perfectly possible to tell someone they’re being unreasonable while also being kind and sympathetic to someone who’s obviously under a lot of stress.

Having read the whole thread, I do think it is very likely that your midwife has let something slip.
BUT without solid proof, you can't do anything I'm afraid.

I hope your scan goes well, and you can share the happy news soon.

Your husband might not have been as discreet as you think

Valid point @hazell42

I can understand why you would be angry, your midwife has no right letting slip to random people especially with your health concerns. As you mentioned she is newly qualified she may not be clued up on ‘etiquette’ yet so I’d have a word with her rather than reporting her.
As the woman who knows is an irrelevant neighbour you never speak to, let it go. She isn’t involved in your life and unlikely to tell all your friends and family. It’s no different to the doctors and receptionists knowing if you look st the bigger picture.
Don’t let it stress you out, enjoy your pregnancy and tell everyone when you are ready.
I didn’t show until 25 weeks with either of mine and had no morning sickness or give away symptoms so I’m shocked by a midwife commenting you should be showing by 20 weeks, what about ladies who give birth never knowing they were expecting?

Just ask the neighbour and stop complaining on mn about it

When I was pregnant with dc3 I went to my midwife appointment and could see her appointment screen on the computer. Maybe that's how she knows. If you don't talk to her why do you care if she knows or not?

I think it's possible that the midwife did say that she'd seen someone 'up the road' like OP has said and that the neighbour has guessed. The two of you don't get on, she's put two and two together, guessed correctly and has now wound you up by telling your friend.

Your husband might not have been as discreet as you think

^^ this

I hope you have at least told someone at work so they can carry out the appropriate risk assessments on you and ensure you are been correctly looked after

Good luck with your pregnancy.

Of course they are. They make us do enough bloody course updates for us to know its a sackable offence.

@ cheesepleez

"No, no one has seen me at th all hospital and no one has seen me at GP."

Right back at the beginning i said I'd seen an employee at the hospital scanning department and I deliberately avoided her as I realised she was pregnant and would not want me to know "yet".

you will have been to some appointments where is is reasonably obvious what you are doing and not unthinkable that she has seen you and you haven't seen her!

Why is everybody taking seriously the notion that op can visit places teeming with people like hospitals and gp surgeries without being seen?
It’s preposterous! If she really can be so certain she should put it to the test and go rob a bank.

No midwife came near my house until after I'd given birth, I am amazed that there are home booking in appointments. I had to go to the GP surgery to see the midwives.

Ooh, this reminds me! Many years ago when I was expecting DS we thought we’d tell all 4 grandparents at the same time over Christmas lunch. Thought so, said

I had a home booking in appointment.