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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that my otherwise healthy 39 yo DB shouldn’t be trying not to die from sepsis?

222 replies

doesthatmakesense · 29/03/2019 23:46

Just that really. Best part of a week spent in ICU, where I’ve been staying o/night with DSiL as she is still bf their 7 month old. Now I’m home and I have time to think, and I think it is all a bit shit. I thought I should come home and see my DC and DH but I’m going to end up more emotional-wreck than rested. How on earth do I support my DM and DF as their beautiful son lies day after day, just-about-not-dying? How on earth can I hold space for my wonderful, brave DSiL and their two DC when I just want to shout and scream at him to stop being such a pillock and get the feck better?

OP posts:
Nowthereistwo · 04/10/2019 17:31

Amazing update. A positive mental attitude will get you a long way

NKFell · 04/10/2019 17:38

Best update OP, all the very best to you and your family of superstars Grin

nettie434 · 04/10/2019 17:44

I remember your post doestthatmakesense so it is wonderful news to hear things have improved so much. And Icebearrocks how proud you must be of your son. I am smiling and feeling a lump in my thoat simultaneously reading both your posts.

dottiedodah · 04/10/2019 17:50

Wheel Decide ,Have just read and commented on it! Great news isnt it! thankfully come through this terrible illness

nilcarborundum · 04/10/2019 17:52

I'm crying now ☺️

BlackeyedGruesome · 04/10/2019 17:53

Phew. Glad he made it, all be it a few inches shorter. Great to have your fellow stately homer for support. Hope his recovering continues.

BlackeyedGruesome · 04/10/2019 17:54

Such a relief when you thought he may die.

picklemepopcorn · 04/10/2019 18:00

Amazing. Thank goodness.

Knittedfairies · 04/10/2019 18:01

Wonderful news!

LakieLady · 04/10/2019 18:02

Fabulous update, OP, I'm really pleased that he's doing so well.

BetsyBigNose · 04/10/2019 18:20

@doesthatmakesense I remember reading your thread back in March, but lost track when I was admitted to hospital with SEPSIS in April - it's so lovely of you to share such a wonderful, positive update; thank you.

I am 39 too, my SEPSIS resulted from a stent I'd had left between my kidney and bladder during a kidney stone removal a few weeks previously. Thankfully, I've recovered from the infection now, but despite working in a Surgery with 12 GPs and having a Mum who is a Practice Nurse (who I see every day), no one spotted what was wrong with me for about 3 days, so I was incredibly lucky to get help in time. I just wanted to jump on your thread and share the symptoms I suffered, as some of them are unusual and it's possible that reading them could help someone in the future, so I hope that's OK?

Tiredness - I literally fell asleep at my desk at work and again in a meeting - was then sent home! (10 embarrassment points)
Slurring of words - I haven't had any alcohol in nearly 7 years, but I apparently sounded like I'd had a bottle of vodka.
Confusion - A colleague asked me in the aforementioned meeting if I was OK, I misheard and said to her "Did you just ask if I was gay?" (20 embarrassment points)
Inability to 'operate machinery' - I couldn't work out how to use my phone or my laptop, I was patting the phone, pushing buttons but had no idea how to use it
Lack of urination - I usually drink 1.5l of water a day, but didn't go for a wee once during the 5 days prior to my admission; but it didn't register with me.
Urinary incontinence - this is mostly specific to when the SEPSIS begins as a UTI, but can be a symptom in other cases too. I would wake in the night, desperate for the loo, but would not be able to make it to the bathroom, maybe 10m away (30 embarrassment points, when caught by your equally embarrassed 12 year old at 3am...)

I hope these symptoms may help someone diagnose themselves or others in time.

BetsyBigNose · 04/10/2019 18:23

One other thing!

Shaking - I couldn't hold a cup or glass without my hands shaking so much that liquid would spill everywhere. (40 embarrassment points when you pour an entire mug of hot Ribena down yourself in front of your Husband and he looks at you like Hmm (before he knew anything was wrong with me, obviously!)

doesthatmakesense · 04/10/2019 23:07

@thumbwitch I cried all over lovely, kind and patient friends on our annual summer meet-up: the "how's your year been" stuff just felled me. I can now plan for futures. initially couldn't even work out what I wanted to eat 5 mins hence which resulted in lots of crisps (if I'd been able to forward-plan I'd have tagged on some accidental slimming BiscuitWineBiscuitWineBiscuitWink ).

All in all it has made me once and for all realise that THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is working with what you've got and being happy with it, and if you aren't happy with it bloody well fixing it so that you are. Life is short. We are mortal. Let's be happy.

OP posts:
AudacityOfHope · 04/10/2019 23:11

Best thread update ever!

ScrambledSmegs · 04/10/2019 23:34

I'm so happy for you and your DB. How fabulous that he's out cycling with his kids after the year he's had (and you - you've been through the proverbial wringer).

Thank you for updating Flowers

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 05/10/2019 02:33

doesthatmakesense - I'm glad that you have those lovely kind supportive and patient friends, it makes all the difference to have people who will listen to you. Thanks

BetsyBignose - thank you for posting your symptoms and very glad you got through sepsis too. I hope you don't have too many lasting ill effects from it. Thanks

LoreleiRock · 05/10/2019 03:20

Well that’s just lovely!

echt · 05/10/2019 04:52

A splendid update, doesthatmakesense, so glad for your bother's recovery. Many Thanks

And thanks to BetsyBigNose for generously sharing your experience.

AfterSchoolWorry · 05/10/2019 08:49

I'm delighted OP.

Btw, you write very well.

crosser62 · 05/10/2019 09:00

Great thread and great news OP.

Makes me warm and fuzzy and very proud to be an ICU nurse knowing the heart and soul we put into getting people and their (mostly) lovely families through sepsis.
Thanks for the update x

KUGA · 05/10/2019 09:09

Sending hugs and hope to you all.

movesyouveneverseen · 06/10/2019 09:44

What a great update @doesthatmakesense, I have been following your thread since the beginning and am so glad your brothers recovery is going so well.

In July my husband contracted sepsis and it was touch and go for a while. It really was the worst time of our lives, but he’s home and I am so thankful every single day that I knew the signs; the doctors said if I hadn’t then he would not be here now.

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