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AIBU?

My brother isn't coming to my wedding

224 replies

mozzarellasticks · 29/03/2019 13:25

2 weeks to go until my wedding and I've just received a message from my brother saying he's not coming.

We have a great relationship but he's said he can't come due to lack of money and nothing to wear.

AIBU to think he should've had some money put aside to go to his dearest sister's wedding?

OP posts:
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NotWhatWhat · 02/04/2019 10:22

Sorry about awful spelling/typos

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TuftyBum · 02/04/2019 18:26

It suggests there is more to him not being able to come than simply not being able to afford it.

It suggests he can afford it but is using this as emotional blackmail to get some extra money from family for the trip.

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Birdshitbridgegotme · 02/04/2019 18:40

I know you say your brother is bad with money ect but if u really want him there buy him a cheap suit and train ticket. He will feel awful wearing Jean's ect at a very small wedding with everyone suited and booted. I know it's annoying but if u truly want him there that's the way to go. Or don't have him there that's your choice.
I know how annoying it is to have to shell out again but cant u look at it as if hes part of the wedding so u would have got his suit,sort of like u would a bestman/bridesmaid that sort of thing.

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mozzarellasticks · 03/04/2019 19:44

Update!!!

I've just been messaging with my brother

He says he's been stressing about money recently but he WILL be at my wedding!!!

Very happy to hear it and told him I'm so grateful and pleased he is able to attend

Thank you all so much. I guess he did want to come after all Smile

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AnotherEmma · 03/04/2019 19:58

Brilliant news! Best wishes for your wedding Flowers

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Motoko · 03/04/2019 20:22

I'm pleased for you. Now you can worry about other things instead! Grin

Hope you have a lovely day.

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Friedspamfritters · 03/04/2019 20:34

Great update OP! Have a wonderful day.

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Lizzie48 · 03/04/2019 20:37

That really is great news, OP. Now you can focus on your big day and I hope it goes really well. Smile

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NotWhatWhat · 04/04/2019 00:26

That's good news OP.

Hope You have a wonderful day
💕👰🏼🤵🏻💕

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AgentJohnson · 04/04/2019 00:41

Wow! He was using your wedding as a way to try to get money, he sounds delightful.

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LunafortJest · 04/04/2019 08:53

Great news OP, but whether he does turn up is a different thing. He may pull out days before, or get sick. Just saying I wouldn't count on it. But if he does go through with attending, that is fantastic for you, and I really hope he does.

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Northernparent68 · 04/04/2019 09:10

I do n’t think this is about money, it’s time for a serious talk with him

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ChicCroissant · 04/04/2019 09:13

I am also of the opinion that illness will strike this week, I hope I am wrong - but any requests for support would be best batted away with a breezy 'obviously busy on the day 'cos I am the Bride, can't help, entirely your choice whether to come or not'. If it does happen, definitely emphasise that it is his choice as he will probably try and blame someone else/circumstances even though he's already tried that one

Have a fabulous day, OP! Very best wishes!

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mozzarellasticks · 13/04/2019 12:35

Thank you so much for all your good wishes

Just to let you all know I am now a married woman!!!

And my brother did manage to get himself here after all Smile

Thanks to all again, we had the loveliest day

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Puzzledandpissedoff · 13/04/2019 13:46

Glad he got there OP - delighted you had a lovely day and wishing you every happiness in your married life Flowers

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downcasteyes · 13/04/2019 13:51

Congratulations! I'm so glad you had a brilliant time

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Disfordarkchocolate · 13/04/2019 13:55

Congratulations, wishing you a happy and loving marriage.

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Motoko · 13/04/2019 14:28

Congratulations! I wish you a long, happy, and healthy life together.

I'm glad your brother was able to make it in the end, and that you had a great day.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 13/04/2019 16:49

Glad he made it. Glad you are married

Now get off the phone and enjoy your wedding day lol

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LunafortJest · 14/04/2019 16:55

Excellent! I am genuinely happy for you that he did come through. Very good news. Congratulations! SmileCakeWineFlowersFlowers

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hatemyhairhun · 14/04/2019 18:01

What stations will his train journey involve? You may be able to find Advance tickets or split tickets to bring the cost down. He could even travel at an off peak time the night before (etc) and stay with your brother?

Sorry but to go to a low key wedding, he just needs a shirt and some trousers. Doesn’t have to be expensive or flashy, his work uniform would be fine surely.

If we’re being honest, he doesn’t want to go and is using money as an excuse. And it’s probably not that he doesn’t want to go as in doesn’t care about you, but doesn’t want to go as he feels insecure or has low self esteem. A large family event may make him feel anxious.

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hatemyhairhun · 14/04/2019 18:02

Just seen the update, congrats!

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caffeineplease · 15/04/2019 12:48

That's great. I'm so so pleased for you!

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KC225 · 15/04/2019 15:16

Congratulations OP. What a great update.

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