AIBU to be annoyed with DH about Mother’s Day?

[Diplodoci]

DH: (this morning) What do you want for Mother’s Day?
Me: A rest! (I’m exhausted from constantly looking after DC, reading books, playing trains, cooking meals, shoving spoons in mouths, washing up, changing nappies, wiping faces, getting up at night, etc)

Tonight DH announces that he’s booked a zoo trip and a meal on Sunday for himself, MIL and DC. So I can rest all day because they’ll be out from 9am.

AIBU to be annoyed by this?! Obviously I’d like to spend Mother’s Day with my own DC. My DM will expect to see DC when I take her gift. I’m happy for DH to take DC to visit MIL when he takes her gift, but not for the entire day.

DH has defended himself saying I asked for a rest! But “a rest” doesn’t mean “take DC away for the full day”. Does it? I was thinking more along the lines of me not lifting a finger all day while DH cooks and does everything for DC.

Apparently it’s now too late to cancel because he’s booked tickets and told MIL who is excited about it. And I can’t go with them because MIL and I don’t get along.

What Hotpot said

He took you at your word. You asked for a rest. It’s impossible to really rest with small children around so he’s arranged to take them out for the day.

If you didn’t really want a rest but instead wanted him to do the cooking and all nappy changes then you should have said that.

On Sunday just luxuriate in your rest and next time it’s a special occasion actually have a conversation about what you want

He has given you what you asked for. If you wanted the other stuff you should have said.

I think he has thought of something that would give you the rest you asked for. I would definitely miss my dc but I am already thinking about what I'd do witha whole day.

What would you have done before your dc?

When did you last do a big treat like zoo and meal out? If you do it all the time, fine. If not, maybe not so fine...

Yes you are unreasonable

He asked you what to wanted for mother’s day, and you turned it into an opportunity for a moan about how hard your life is. It backfired on you, but you did get what you asked for!

Poor bloke is probably confused about what he did wrong.

Sounds like a lovely day OP. Get yourself a nice new book or download something to watch, and let MIL/DH crack on.

It's really what you asked for................

He's literally given you what you asked for

I'd feel so lonely on Mother's day if this was me!

I still want to be mum on Mother's day but minis all the tedious chores. I want the joy of motherhood on mother's day with mu children.

Take my child away for a day of fun treats without me, no it's just not right!

YANBU. At all.

Sounds like bloody heaven!!

I was thinking more along the lines of me not lifting a finger all day while DH cooks and does everything for DC.

YABU

As if the kids would magically leave you alone anyway, just because it's Mother's Day?

Just enjoy the peace and quiet and plan something nice for yourself. Your mum can see the kids another time.

Savour the peace! (And fill the kids full of sugar before they go) 😂🤭

Really.... he's tried to deliver and you aren't happy? He's booked something that the children will like. I think you should be delighted!

Enjoy it! Long lie in, then nice lunch out Inc. wine with your mum.

So he's spending mother's day with his mother and you are getting the rest that you asked for. Sounds like he made a very sensible choice.

YABU

That sounds amazing. I would love a day off like that. I’ll be lucky for an hour of peace and I’ve got MIL (who is a pain in the ass) staying the weekend, too.

Enjoy the gift you asked for

It sounds like heaven, you’ll get to see your children before they go and when they get back and get peace in between.

Just the consequence of human beings being different people - you thought 'A day together where I don't have to do anything'; he heard 'Let me alone to have a quiet day'. It's not what you wanted exactly, but he meant well, so I'd accept it and make the most of it.

What a silly man

This would be music to my ears.

A whole day to do exactly what I wanted without any interruptions ... probably sleep!

He obviously meant well and thought he was doing the right thing!

Mixed opinions then. I actually think DH doesn’t want to do the work of solo parenting for the day so has decided to rope in MIL. It would be too much effort to give me a nice family day and handle everything himself! And yes I also think he’s seen an opportunity to score points by handing MIL my DC for the full day.

I wish I was getting your Mother's Day gift it sounds perfect to me. I think dh took you at your word and has given you what you asked for so I don't think you should complain too much. You will see dc before they go and when they get back anyway so take the day to rest if that's what you need or do something for yourself instead.

If you wanted a particular kind of rest I think you should have been more explicit.

He sounds quite thoughtful to me.