AIBU to be annoyed with DH about Mother’s Day?

[Diplodoci]

DH: (this morning) What do you want for Mother’s Day?
Me: A rest! (I’m exhausted from constantly looking after DC, reading books, playing trains, cooking meals, shoving spoons in mouths, washing up, changing nappies, wiping faces, getting up at night, etc)

Tonight DH announces that he’s booked a zoo trip and a meal on Sunday for himself, MIL and DC. So I can rest all day because they’ll be out from 9am.

AIBU to be annoyed by this?! Obviously I’d like to spend Mother’s Day with my own DC. My DM will expect to see DC when I take her gift. I’m happy for DH to take DC to visit MIL when he takes her gift, but not for the entire day.

DH has defended himself saying I asked for a rest! But “a rest” doesn’t mean “take DC away for the full day”. Does it? I was thinking more along the lines of me not lifting a finger all day while DH cooks and does everything for DC.

Apparently it’s now too late to cancel because he’s booked tickets and told MIL who is excited about it. And I can’t go with them because MIL and I don’t get along.

You wanted a rest and that's exactly what you are getting, I don't understand why you are upset? 🤷‍♀️ If he had booked you a ticket for the zoo then I could understand you being annoyed but he is taking the kids out so you can have the day to yourself.

Sounds like the best mother’s day ever to me.

No, YANBU. It's Mothers Day - of course you want to be with your children. Charitably speaking, it may just be that your DH misunderstood what you meant by "rest" but, in your shoes, I would be making it absolutely clear that you're spending the day with your children. (I would be absolutely livid!)

He gave you exactly what you asked for. Give him a break!

My dh spends every mother day with his mother. I spend it with mine. Generally I keep the oldest teen and the youngest goes with him after we have all done breakfast together.

I think he did what you asked and I wouldn't expect him to cancel

It's a perfect gift.
He is giving you excatly what you wanted.
Why don't you sleep and chill out for half a day and then go out with your DM? You will see your DC in the evening..

I think he’s arranged something that gives you what you wanted, surely if you were with them you’d still be cooking wiping faces etc? Surely you’ll still see them in the morning & evening?

Excluded,?

How dramatic.

I'm with your dh. You asked for a rest, that is what you are getting.
I don't really get the problem- presumably you will see your dc on Saturday and Sunday evening.

Would you ask him if he has space for my dc and dh too?

You asked for it, you got it!

I can see why you are miffed, can you join them for the meal? And have brunch or more with your dm/friends before.

This is the sort of thing my DH would do and would not see why it was annoying. YANBU.

I think your day sounds a bit odd, popping around to both mum’s to drop presents just sounds like a lot of toing and froing, although sweet you want to see both mums. He’s given you what you asked for and giving his mum a lovely day out. You can do something with your mum or rest.

I don’t think you should be really mad tbh.

He sounds like a good bloke to me. Did what you asked, perhaps he’s taken it a bit too literally but he meant wel!

Sorry op,but that would have been my ideal Mother's Day when I was with my toddlers 24-7 otherwise. And, you did ask for it.

I would love that gift! Make the most of it and have some well deserved me time. You might find you like it😁.

I think that's very thoughtless and somewhat unkind. I don't think asking for a rest means you want to sit at home alone while your dc go somewhere cool without you.

I don't often kick up a fuss but I would in this case.

You got what you asked for, so embrace it and don't moan

I’d be really chuffed. You asked for a rest, he’s giving you one and doing something nice for the dc. I think unless you’re very specific about what you mean by a rest in your own terms you can’t really complain.

Am I the only one who thinks he has used your ‘rest’ answer to solve his issue as to how to meet his mother’s demands (I suspect ‘demands’ because you don’t get on) ?

The zoo and lunch out is s big treat, big expense. Had he really planned to give you a rest he could have discussed this with you. He could have taken tne kids to the park to let you have a lie in, and then all fine out to lunch.

I am cynical about this ‘rest’ having been quite so generousy planned.

You got what you asked for though?

Ooh I got called dramatic!

I really am not normally. Maybe it's because my DS has never actually been to the zoo but he would love it and also that big family days out like that are not exactly a weekly event for us but it would be something that I would love to do with him and would actively look forward to. So DH booking to go without me and telling me that it was a 'treat' for me would not go down well here!

‘Um, what did you do for mother’s day?’

‘Had the day by myself - didn’t see the kids all day.’

Weird.

I’d have expected him to get up with dc and then to do something for the day... but he should have asked you first. What’s he expecting your mum to do?!

I would be bloody delighted. I don't think he's done anything wrong, he's giving you the rest you basked for. It's just a misunderstanding.

*asked