to ask my sister to let my daughter live with her?

[EleanorEclipse]

My daughter is 22 and she graduated last year. We live in Manchester and she's received a fabulous job offer in London. Unfortunately, despite the job being closely aligned with her professional interests and providing an excellent first step into her chosen industry, the salary isn't really enough to sustain her in London (we've looked at rents, even for small or shared rooms) and I'm not in a position to help her, as much as I'd love to. My sister lives in Ealing though. She has a big, 4 bedroomed house and lives alone (she's 55 and divorced, no kids). We're not super close but we've always got on and been on good terms, although we're very different people: she was much more career-orientated than me.
I would like to ask my sister whether my daughter could live with her for a year or two. AIBU? And if not, how do you recommend I go about it? It seems like the perfect solution, and it's a big house so it's not as though they'd be in living each other's pockets.

[Bethiboo40]

If your sister hasn't offered already I wouldn't even ask her at all. We live in a two bed semi just my DH, DS (21yrs), 2 DLABS and little auld me. If any one of my nieces or nephews needed a place to stay I'd make the room for however long they needed and I haven't spoken to either of my sisters for over 5 years. The fact she hasn't offered speaks for itself imo.

[redwoodmazza]

It sounds like a perfect solution - BUT I wouldn't want to share my house [no matter how big] with anyone else. I like to do what I want when I want. Just be aware that your sister might feel the same.

[Bugbabe1970]

Definitely ask or even better your daughter should ask
I’d say yes in a heartbeat

[Pinkyyy]

Why are people still offering the OP advice when she clearly isn't returning?

[HomeTheatreSystem]

Fantasy:

(Aunt walks in door at 7pm)

DN: "Hello Auntie! I remembered you said you were dreading today at work, so I've cooked your favourite meal and got us in a nice glass of xxxx "(hands sth delicious to aunt who smiles gratefully)
AUNT: (slugs back the proffered libation) "God you total angel! Supper smells heavenly. Just going upstairs for a quick shower!"
AUNT returns, refreshed
DN proffers 2nd libation and plates up a delicious meal.

They sit down together, have a hugely enjoyable chat about their week, lots of laughs, finish off the bottle. DN and Aunt clear up the minimal mess together as DN is tidy; DN is going out later, AUNT fancies a rare night in DOING AS SHE PLEASES.

Reality

(Aunt walks in door at 7pm, having had awful day at work. Kitchen looks like Coventry in WW2.)
DN: "Hey auntie....ummm I've invited my friends round for drinks and a meal tonight. Just practising this new recipe ...would you mind making yourself scarce when they get here. I don't mind you being in the kitchen for a couple of minutes though??"

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

"To be honest I think DD has set her sights on her aunt's house. She likes the location, and thinks it would be a good base for her and she'd enjoy having friends round etc."

And what did you say to her, when she came out with this piece of cheeky fuckery, @EleanorEclipse? Did you set her straight, and tell her that IF her aunt agreed to have her as a lodger, she would be expected to treat the place and her aunt with respect, and that, actually, it was jolly cheeky of her to 'set her sights' on it because she 'likes the location' - or did you endorse her cheekiness?

[PresidentHump]

You say she'd obviously pay her way. That'd be about £1000 for a room in a nice house in Ealing.

[BlueSkiesLies]

To be honest I think DD has set her sights on her aunt's house. She likes the location, and thinks it would be a good base for her and she'd enjoy having friends round etc.

'cummon people, its clear from page one the OP is a-trolling us all with this little gem

[Namestheyareachangin]

To be honest I think DD has set her sights on her aunt's house. She likes the location, and thinks it would be a good base for her and she'd enjoy having friends round etc

Hell to the no. This will not work. Her aunt has a nice house in a nice area which she clearly chooses to live in alone. An entitled house guest who wants to bring her noisy mates back is not going to be welcome. Don't even ask, and encourage your DD to set her sights a bit more realistically. We all live in grotholes while establishing ourselves in London, it's part of the experience.

[Educator66]

There are and have been many graduate students in this situation. in the North there is not the variety of jobs that there are in the South. However, in the South they have realised that thousands of Northerners will be travelling their way for work and in real terms, wages in London have reduced while rents have increased. For your predicament, just phone your sister and say that your daughter has now successfully completed her degree and is looking to start a career just like she did. The only problem is the shortage of career opportunities in the North and the high rents in the South, is she in a position to help you out? Say that of course, your daughter would pay rent and would not be inviting friends over without permission from her. Would she please help her niece?

[Vix169]

My DS’s DD did this with my other DS. It was a total disaster and led to my DS in London having a breakdown. Just a word of warning. Young people need to stand on their own feet.

[MamaBolt]

Why doesn't your daughter ask your sister herself (showing maturity) if she can stay with her for three months while she finds her feet. Finding a shared house in London is always, always best done by word of mouth, via friends of friends, someone who knows someone...
And for a 22 year-old, ideally in Hackney, not Ealing! :)

[noenergy]

Did the OP ever reply?