to ask my sister to let my daughter live with her?

[EleanorEclipse]

My daughter is 22 and she graduated last year. We live in Manchester and she's received a fabulous job offer in London. Unfortunately, despite the job being closely aligned with her professional interests and providing an excellent first step into her chosen industry, the salary isn't really enough to sustain her in London (we've looked at rents, even for small or shared rooms) and I'm not in a position to help her, as much as I'd love to. My sister lives in Ealing though. She has a big, 4 bedroomed house and lives alone (she's 55 and divorced, no kids). We're not super close but we've always got on and been on good terms, although we're very different people: she was much more career-orientated than me.
I would like to ask my sister whether my daughter could live with her for a year or two. AIBU? And if not, how do you recommend I go about it? It seems like the perfect solution, and it's a big house so it's not as though they'd be in living each other's pockets.

AuntMarch - very sound advice

There are some extraordinary numbers being bandied around for the cost of rent in London

£560 gets you a double room with all bills included, and a cleaner thrown in
www.londonshared.co.uk/rooms/2857/
And it’s pretry close to that lovely area of Ealing that the daughter is so keen on

Mmh !

It really does sound as if your sister likes the idea of lunches and shopping trips but would find it hugely disruptive house sharing with her niece and I’m not sure she would relish the idea of all your daughter’s friends coming to visit frequently as she would invariably be living in a much better area than them!

Having said that you could ask and it might build a stronger relationship between them!
I would hope your daughter would pay some sort of housekeeping to her aunt of at least £250 pcm ...

I had a friend’s son staying here long term. Flipping nightmare for me. We almost fell out. Be careful.

Op's long gone

What Cautionsharpblade said

@Fere

It was essentially a box room in a flat share 5 mins away from the prison. There are plenty of cheap flats if you look properly.

Yup as soon as rhe op said her daughter saw it as her base and a place to have her friends round the comments rightly changed, and the op disappeared.

Omg I hope this wasn't my sister posting

I don’t think DD is quite ready for being a house guest with all these expectations on somebody else’s house. I most certainly would not want friends I don’t know coming round or worse still come home to a house party and strangers helping themselves to my stuff. Your sister is wise not to offer. It’s a pity really, it could have been a nice arrangement if she wanted the company.

"She would most probably have to pay tax on the income,"

As others have pointed out, income from having a lodger is now tax free.

"I don’t think DD is quite ready for being a house guest with all these expectations on somebody else’s house. I most certainly would not want friends I don’t know coming round "

OP said her DD would pay rent. Paying lodgers are allowed guests.

Gwenhwyfar There is no law that says if you pay for lodgings that you are entitled to have your own guests around. It is all down to the preferences and terms set by the person who lets the room 😀

Paying lodgers are allowed guests

Eh? Can you Post a link to that little law?

Guests are up to the owner, they can permit or not, as and when they please.

Firstly, DD needs to do the asking, not you. And it comes with the full expectation that auntie can, and might well, say no.

If I was a single woman, in my 50s, with a lovely house, I'm not sure I'd be falling over myself for my early 20s niece to move in and have all her friends round! Of course, it could be a transformative experience for them both, but I wouldn't count on it.

"Guests are up to the owner, they can permit or not, as and when they please."

Is that what you would do Bluntness? Take rent money from someone, but not allow them normal enjoyment of their home???

Not allow normal enjoyment! That's a funny twist on whether someone can have guests.

An early 20s person may consider having friends over til 2am normal enjoyment. It's quite possible her landlord aunt in her 50s wouldn't agree so this would need to be decided in advance.

@MachinicianMagician a box room is not "a flat"!

@Fere didnt assume someone would interpret it as being a flat (especially since I specifies it was from spareroom.com). Point still stands that affordable accommodation is available throughout London if one is willing to compromise

Bet your DD is going to love her share and f bills and council tax.

Take rent money from someone, but not allow them normal enjoyment of their home???

Plenty of lodging contracts do have restrictions on guests and even use to some communal rooms. In return, the rent is often lower than a house or flatshare. Not unusual at all.

"An early 20s person may consider having friends over til 2am normal enjoyment. It's quite possible her landlord aunt in her 50s wouldn't agree so this would need to be decided in advance."

Yes, of course it can be decided in advance. The agreement when I was a lodger was that you could have friends over by just letting other people living there (the landlady and other lodger) know in advance.
No visitors at all is unreasonable imo, but if this is what the aunt wants, she should let the niece know straight away as it's definitely not always the case.

This is a recipe for disaster IMO.

Aunt would have offered if she wanted this to happen. Don't put her in the position of having to refuse.

@MachinicianMagician unfortunately saying a price is for a flat means it is for a flat and not for a room so not need to be defensive

@Frere